Review: Arsenal v Chelsea

I don't even know what the final score is/was.

Stopped after the 3rd. I feared this would happen after Liege, and lo and behold. It happened.

Let's keep this simple: outclassed. Boys and against men, and the boys got spanked. Chelsea - 3 attempts, 3 goals. Arse: all the prettiest passing, but simply no way good enough to put them away. And that, quite simply, was a lack of class.

Drogba had three attempts, and all three resulted in goals. Eduardo put in a performance fit for amateur football.

Even if the statistics prove otherwise, I think we know, and I think the team knows that our season's over, and Chelski will be worthy champions on this.

As the commentator said at one point, substance prevailed over style. And to be honest, except for the pretty passing, there was little of the latter anyway.

Good night. And that goes to our chances as well.

At Bloody Long Last

I was rewatching the Wolves-Arsenal game the other night, and damn, it seemed liked light years ago. Just think. What has happened since then?

First, RVP first was ruled out for the rest of the season, then maybe less, then, thankfully, 4-6 weeks, and now he's getting placenta massaged into his ankle.

Second, Kieran Gibbs had a broken metatarsal, then maybe not, and now, he could even be back for the Chelski game.

Third, we very nearly came close to Irish armageddon, as Damien Duff cried, Keane went ballistic, the Irish FA lost it, and Thierry Henry gets crucified. All in all, not unusual madness from the British media, footballing observers and the lot. For what I think is probably the best read, just head on to the Arseblogger.

That stupid handball fiasco basically tells you what happens when you deprive grown men of proper football for too long. They go mad. They kill their wives, burn their their homes, then they start lynching "cheats". For pete's sake...

Thank god then for football tomorrow. (But before that, let me just make a point about how absolutely unbelievably unconscionably crap France are. I mean, for a team of so much individual talent, to be able to mould them into a team of absolute nothingness, must involve some mighty talent. And for that, there can be no other than Raymond Domenech. What the French are still doing with him, nobody knows. Or maybe someone does).

So tomorrow then. First, Theo's back. Denilson too. We might see Eduardo start, while the Arsh gets a few minutes off to cry a few more tears into his pillow. Russia. Losing out to Slovenia. Ah. The wonders of World Cup qualifying. Wonder if the Russians are going to start ranting about seeding. I mean, what the shit is about this seeding nonsense anyway, say the Irish.

It's going to be a nice little OD of footie tomorrow to get over the long long long international break. Pool - Citeh in the early kick-off, then we play, Chelski too, and the Man U. I can already feel my arse merging into the sofa as I type.

Let's get this little task of Sunderland out of the way then. With Kenwyne Jones out, and Craig Gordon too, I hope things are really that little bit easier.

Ciao. Till then.

The Dangers of Cattle Class (or so it seems)

Well, isn't it just the funniest thing. You see, pool 'ole Frank Lampard and the rest of the England team - forced to endure a long flight from Londong to Qatar, on a charter, designed for short-hauls, without flat beds, and were of course, shocked to find seats that barely reclined.

Then, pool 'ole Lamps get off the plane, and during their first training session, does something to his rather strained and tested thigh muscle. Oh dear. Oh me. Oh my. Read all about it.

Shit, you gotta feel sorry for these dudes. Usually, this would only have marginal entertainment value to me, but the fact that this has led to his missing the Arse match only makes me smile. I suppose if Chelski lose, they'd really friggin' sue to FA for what they did to the dude.

Why not this then: Romano Bloodybitch now just flies all his star players in the lap of luxury (preferably in the lap of a blonde Russian beaut) to and from all internationals. I mean, c'mon. Why not. In any case, with the wages they have, why did they have to depend on the FA? Couldn't Lamps have at least used his miles and asked for an upgrade?

Oh well. Entertainment value has expired.

Sheeet. There's really nothing happening. Nothing. Zip. It's a Saturday tomorrow, and nothing.

So it has to be then: Ireland v France at 2000 hrs GMT, and Portugal v Bosnia-Herzegovina half an hour later. Put some money on it: draw for both ties!

Ngog

I suppose that's the sound one makes when caught between a cough, a hiccup and a sneeze.

Not only is an Ngog rather painful, a certain Lee Carsley claims an Ngog could be rather embarassing as well. How could one look one's family in the eye, when an Ngog cheats, dives and wins a conned penalty? I'm not going to say anything further about diving, cheating, etc etc. Let's just see how far this goes. My bet is it'll die soon enough, as quick as one can do an Ngog.

Score-wise, looks like my prediction was slightly off, but at least I got the general drift right - that Pool would suck. That said, it was still adequate entertainment for a Monday night. To see Pool dominate play but go in at half time 2-1 down, and despite all their efforts on goal, to depend on an Ngog moment in the second half. I suspect when ref Peter Walton watched the replays with his post-match cup of tea in hand, he had a rather painful Ngog as well.

It's getting to be really sad times to be a Pool fan. Now it's injuries to Benayoun and Rieira. Very soon, they're gonna have to make Voronin captain. But worry not, Benitez will surely get into the transfer market in January for yet another astute buy.

Arse-wise, the news is that Bent Nick will have to be out for at least a month as he goes for surgery on his groin. That's not too bad. Give the boy his month, some rest, and he should be back and raring to go in time for the ties I talked about yesterday.

Finally, I had to have a word on this. Since the Wolves game, there's been a stream of rather silly journalistic talk going on about our scoring record, breaking records, etc etc etc. All rather ignorable bollocks with the unstated and inadvertent aim of distracting the boys in front of goal. All fine and dandy.

But to see it on our very own website is a bit of a disgrace. Have we nothing else to talk about? Gee whiz. What utterly stupid and irrelevant stats. Just as useless, but potentially more distracting than stats on the average volume and direction of spit and snot Andrei Arshavin expunges in the course of 90 minutes.

Pfft.

A Monday Letdown

Yeah, what a letdown. Damn Man U. Couldn't even do the decent thing and grind out a draw. That'd have been perfect, and given us the best opportunity to get on top. But never mind. We're still second, with a game in hand - over both Chelski and Man U who are nicely behind us now. That whole 5 point gap thing is illusory. There's still too much to play, including what would really be a 6-pointer when we play Chelski on 29 November. That's one big shit game.

Talking about big shit games, consider this run in the coldest darkest months of next year:

Saturday, 20 January - Man U at home
Saturday, 6 February - Chelksi away
Tuesday, 9 February - Pool at home

The only good thing about this is that we've got two away games, and it won't be much travelling from Chelski back home for Pool. AND...we'd have a relatively easier run in a result. Right now, I think I'd take 5 points. Nine would be nicer of course.

Y'know, Man U clearly are a weaker side without Ronaldo, and I'd hesitate to say, without Tevez (who has so far been a total dweeb in light blue + hair band + no goals). Makes it even more painful to ponder how we let three points get away at Old Trafford...

I suppose there was much for Chelski to be happy about then. But methinks Terry was probably a bit too excited for his own good...













Which brought to mind an earlier pic too:

Looks like the common denominator here's a certain Frank Lampard. Ewwww. Sorry.

















Elsewhere farther afield, there was a complete madhouse over at Stade Gerland, where Lyon and Marseille managed a mind-blowing 5-5 draw. Shit. Looking at the celebrations, I don't think I'd have taken something like that happening to Arse. Check out the highlights for yourselves:



All I can say is, I was a doofus for missing it. Yes, I'd already OD-ed on footie over the weekend, which even included dozing over Athletico Madrid - Real, and watching poor 'ole Reyes ply his trade in oblivion. Yes, I needed my sleep, yes Chelski 1 - Man U 0 put me out of the mood, but man, to have watched it live...

I can't imagine two more weeks of nothing but World Cup play-offs. I suppose at the very least France - Ireland and Portugal - Bosnia should provide some semblance of entertainment. If only to see Ronaldo crawl onto the pitch on all fours to help out the motherland, and for Ireland to make the whole argument about Paddy Vieira going to South Africa moot. Fingers crossed ours see through these and other stupid friendlies without further injuries.

Wonder what else I'm going to talk about in days ahead.

Oh yes, wait a minute. There's actually Monday night football today! Hooray!

My prediction: Liverpool 0 - Birmingham 1.

Review: Wolves 1 - Arsenal 4

Somehow, there was a little bit of an unsatisfactory feel to the game. Yes, we won 4-1, but I'll put it down to two things: first, for the first 20 minutes or so, we were basically over-run by Wolves. They started well, closed us down extremely well, and didn't give the team any time on the ball and shut down the passing. In all honesty, they probably deserved a goal by then - given how many free kicks we gave away, and just for the effort they put in.

Then it turned...

Before we get there though, the second unsatisfactory bit was of course the goal we conceded. It's almost as if a clean sheet would somehow hurt. Unlike Alkmaar, I'd give Wolves their goal.

Anyhows, at the kick-off, the one surprise was Song getting rested, Ramsey starting, and Diaby taking Song's position in front of the defenders. The turning point then, when we started looking more comfortable, was probably not when we got the first goal, but I'd say when Diaby had to limp off. Honestly, with Song back in his place, and Ramsey given more license, we did seem back to normal in the midfield. Diaby just isn't cutting it, and once more, his injuries have come back to haunt him. Maybe this is a little opportunity for Aaron to get a run in.

The goal then: another odd corner contribution from Ed. Much like the one he scored against Liege, except this time, a Wolves knee got ahead of his. From then on, we looked comfortable, as Wolves came forward from the midfield in more adventurous droves, and opening up more space for us on the break. And so it happened. A break, a rather unhelpful ball from Ramsey to Ed, who was forced to break his run, had a difficult angle, chose a chip, and got slightly lucky that it wasn't deflected away from goal.

The third was a more typical thing of wonder. Sagna from the edge of our box, Sagna to RVP, RVP with the most wonderful controlled one-touch tap to Cesc, and Cesc with the coolest of finishes. After two own-goals, we deserved this one.

We got out fourth - surprise! - from yet another corner as the Arsh slots home from a little flap from the Wolves goalie.

A good day's work. Great to see Nasri and then Rosicky come back on, and we should've added a few more. Alas, we did, in contributing to Wolves' goal - going to sleep at the corner. I really really hate these soft goals. Le Boss seems easy enough about it: “We have a style where everyone goes forward. You cannot have everything in football, but I believe we have a good balance between offense and defence, and as long as we score as many goals as we do, we can accept that.”

But I beg to differ.

Player ratings:

Almunia 7 - Had little to do again. And where necessary, did the necessary.

Sagna 8.5 - A good good game. Useful on the runs, and once more contributed with his assists. Excellent stuff. Probably got a tad worried about Eboue.

TV 8 - Did the deed, though his defending on the goal was bit suspect.

Billy 8 - I'm beginning to find differentiating his performances from TV's a bit difficult, so much of a partnership they're becoming.

Gibbs 7.5 - Good reliable performance. Not as adventurous going forward, but defensively sound. The boy's doing good.

(Won't review Diaby).

Song 8 - Thank god for his return after Diaby's injury. He's the spine in defence, no doubt.

Ramsey 7 - Excellent work rate, but will need a few more starts to really get in the flow of the passes and movement.

Cesc 7.5 - Great finish, but not at his best.

Arsh 7 - Ditto.

Ed 7 - Still not back to his best. But I can see signs of positive movement. Somehow finds himself in good positions are corners, and he seems to get the occasional rub of the green in front of goal.

RVP 8 - Perfect set-up for Cesc's goal, and really really wanted one of his own. Deserved one.

All in all, Cesc recognises that we weren't exactly at our best. Says so right here. And I think he's spot on. The performance wasn't great, but at least it showed that even with one or two nice moves, we've got the necessary goals in the team. I'll take the away win and run.

Extended match higlights right here:



Now it's extended break for the internationals. Blurggh. Just what am I going to do for the next two weeks?

Elsewhere, there was a rather amusing and thoroughly satisfying game at Eastlands. Burnley slapping Citeh to go 2-0 up, somehow falling back to 3-2, but hold on to grab a draw at the death. What larks! Nice to see Ade back to his "usual", and Citeh's ultra-expensive back four put in a crap performance. Wayne Bridge, Lescott (what a great hand ball!), even Kolo. Nice.

Now let's see what happens this afternoon at the Bridge. Can't wait.

Review: Arsenal 4 - AZ Alkmaar 1

That. Was. Some. Good. Shit.

Seriously. I would've said really really good shit, but we did have to let in the requisite soft goal, so...

But what a performance. Let's just look at the goals. The first from Cesc was kinda odd. We'd played well enough for the first 20 or so minutes, pretty moves, passing, the works. But nothing too much to show for it. Until Cesc gets to walk across the AZ box, put a weak-ish shot in, then see it nestle at the back of the AZ net. Heh. Even I was surprised. So we're one-nil up with a rather soft goal thanks in part to sloppy goalkeeping from Argentina's number one.

Then, the second, from Nasri. And what a pretty one that was. Cheeky through ball straight through the middle from the Arsh, a cool head from Nasri, and brilliant finish. I was really really happy to see him back and scoring. Looked like he'd never left.

The third, was even better. Again, the Arsh was involved in putting Cesc through and the finish was sublime. I was sitting on the couch, angling even my own backside for a finish into the top right, and I think Sergio Romero must've been fooled by me too, coz Cesc simply blasted it into the opposite end. Yum!

And just when you thought it couldn't get any prettier - the fourth. Super backheel from the centre circle from Ed, Arsh again (!!) to Diaby, who had a simple but (surprisingly) confident finish not unlike Cesc's 20 minutes earlier.

So it's four. The big boys had already been rested, and the defenders were screaming for a goal themselves. Alas then, just as they were flooding the AZ penalty box for a corner, we get caught on the break. Yes, we were. I suppose I should be glad that our defenders were flooding the box at 4-0 up than at 1-0 or 2-1, so a soft goal on the break shouldn't be too surprising. But I must say, Almunia's retard reflexes were somewhat off-putting. Not sure how he did not react enough even to put his arse on the ground. He just...squatted. Anyways...

It was otherwise a great great team performance. Everyone put in their bit, and even Arsh at 70% was still awesome in his assists. Diaby was his usual 60%, and his usual irritating self, but since he got himself that goal, I shan't be too harsh.

Highlights right here:



Player ratings:

Almunia 6.5 - Sorry dude. You didn't have much to do, made one good save, and the next time called upon, you were made to look mighty stupid. Concentrate!! Who knows, Le Boss may just think it's Mannone time for Wolves. But I suspect not. Not yet at least.

Gibbs 9 - What a performance. Great tackles, running down the left, and a far far better crosser of the ball than Gael. The boy's going to be real monster, on this form! Only thing he will need to learn - is that in defending the goal we let in, the next time, he'll know to just take down the dude and take the yellow card for the team. A little naive there.

TV: 8 - Good solid performance as well, kept the little that AZ threw at us quiet. Had enough time and energy to make a few interesting runs into the AZ box.

Billy 8 - As did Billy.

Eboue 8 - My man Eboue. Very adequate cover for Sagna who had a good rest. Adequate in defence, and a far greater attacking force across the pitch than Sagna. Had a few good runs both down the right and into the middle.

Song 8 - Excellent game again. Kept the defensive ship tight while Billy and TV went walkabouts. (Not sure about the goal we let in though). Anyway, no complaints. No doubt the regular rock of the team now.

Diaby 6.5 - Bluuurgh. Really, if Le Boss can't see that he's the usual sore thumb sticking out of great collective performances, he must be deluding himself. Give Wilshere 6 extra inches, and he'd do the work of 5 Diabies (is that right in plural?).

Cesc 8.5 - Would've given him a 9 if he didn't have his deserved rest after an hour. What a man. Not only does he still do his business, he's got the Midas Touch too as far as the goals go.

Nasri 8 - Super return to the starting 11. His finish was sublime. We've missed him, and thank god he's back.

Arsh 8 - Even when he seems out of sorts, he manages to do one or two things that changes games in an instant. (Three in this case). I suppose he's indispensable not because of his workrate, but because he can always be counted on to at least do one or two special things a game.

RVP 8 - Koeman's called him Holland's best player. On current form, and given what else Holland has to offer now, why not. Kinda glad we gave him a rest after half an hour or so. He'll need it. May he now rip Wolves apart.

We had all three of our subs on: Rosicky (who nearly made a goal-creating chance with his first touch), Ed and Ramsey. Fingers crossed Rosicky keeps healthy, coz if he does, the depth of our squad will really start to show.

I could do on gushing, but shall refrain. Let's keep focused as we unfortunately have not technically qualified yet. Which is good, actually. Keeps our eye on the ball till Liege visits.

Elsewhere, more good/funny news about. Barca's Group F is a real crap shoot. Anyone could still qualify with two to play, so that'll be cool to watch. Funny how Inter went from being 1-0 down last night and last in the group, to snatching two goals at the death and leap-frogging everyone into top spot. What I wouldn't give to see Kiev and Kazan both qualify!! But alas, probably not.

Pool now need a "miracle" too. Heh. I thought they'd just about done their usual miracle-y thing went they went 1-0 up at Lyon. But dear oh dear. Bad karma does that to you, and if I were Rafa, I'd see even the gods against me now. Time to go, dude.

Finally, for those who are so inclined, it's Panini Champions League sticker time! What larks!

Clichy

Well shiver me timbers. The news is suddenly out that Clichy's a little stress fracture in his back, and could be out for a month or so. I'm not sure I saw anything on Saturday, so it could be one of several things: (a) he slipped in the shower and fell smack on his butt and tail bone; or (b) he's fallen ill of the..."virus"! Is this coincidence or what - that he puts in a few so-so performances, the Arsewiper says that Gibbs is watching him, and lo and behold, he gets a mysterious stress fracture.

We really could do without another injury, but if there's ever anytime we could give Gibbs a run out, this would be it. The real games where we'll have Gibbs instead of Clichy then would be: Alkmaar, Wolves, Sunderland, Liege, Chelsea, Citeh, Stoke and probably Olympiakos. Citeh's in the Carling Cup, and that's no big shakes. So we're really looking at a not too difficult run apart from Chelski. Fingers crossed that Gibbs stays injury free himself, and that we've got good enough cover for the Carling Cup in Armand Traore.

Elsewhere, Eboue's gone and proven just what an oddball he is. His life-long career goal: to play for PSG:

"One day I would like to play in Ligue 1. I like that league, there are a lot of surprises and developments. PSG are a club I admire. If they were to offer me a deal, the reply would be positive. We will have to see what happens next summer."

Err, okay. I thought people usually head the other way round, so...if it rings your bells, rattles your chains, then go for it dude. I suppose since PSG's the place where everyone goes off into quiet early retirement, it sorta makes sense: Gregory Coupet, Ludovic Giuly, Claude Makalele...

But, I must say Eboue has put in a few useful games in all sorts of positions, so I'll be sad to see him go next season (if he gets his dream transfer).

Finally, in response to overwhelming requests (i.e. 1 from my favourite tele-pundit), there's a new poll on the right. Click away!

Yay to footie tonight!

A Bit of Clarity

It's a Monday after a weekend of football. Where Citeh showed off their title credentials by scraping out a goalless draw away to a rampant and rather impressive Birmingham. And there's yet more light on the depths of Harry Redknapp's... impertinence... and... foolishness ... and... sillyness.

(NB: Following a rather distressing complaint from the language police, I have resolved to tone down on the abusive language - for this post at least).

So, I shall let the words speak for themselves - with minimal intervention from yours truly:

Harry Redknapp: "There is no gap between the clubs in my opinion."

Yes, fortunately, everyone's entitled to their opinions. You would be pleased to know that even Harry Redknapp has a rather personal opinion. As I'd said before the game, let's see. I'm even willing to wait till May 2010.

Harry Redknapp: "Goals change games unfortunately."

Indeed, another razor-sharp opinion. It is quite unfotunate, that in a game where the objective is to score goals, and not let them in, that goals can in fact change games. Who would've thought! Razor-sharp, dear 'arry.

On to more important things than Harry Redknapp...but wait a minute. What's that I hear? Silence? That strange buzzing that comes from deathly silence... Ah, yes, it's just Robbie Keane.

Silence aside - it's Champions League mid-week joy coming up, and I'm really looking forward to Milan - Madrid tomorrow. How yummy. I see a good game, and Milan possibly nicking it. Given Madrid's case of SARs - Severe Acute Ronaldodependicitis, it'll depend on whether he plays. Probably not, so we know what will likely happen.