Review: Partizan Belgrade 1 - Arsenal 3

Hey, did you realise that Partizan backwards is Nazitrap? Hmmm...

Anyways, we won last night. We actually did. Despite our best efforts. For many many stretches of the game, it was same old angst, anger, dismay, disbelief. But thank god for Chamakh, and may he have a nice rest ahead of Sunday.

The way we started the way, it was basically a re-hash of our West Brom malaise, mixed in with the stage fright associated with that (quite) scary setting of the Partizan stadium, and the trauma of having had to change in a dark changing room. (What the hell, right???)

It was a really scary first couple of minutes. But hey, we scored with our first real shot on goal. Wilshere again. God bless him. Quite amazingly, that goal sorta switched a switch, and for the next 20 minutes or so, we could've scored 3, should've scored at least one more. Some nice stuff, but for a decent keeper and some suspect finishing...

Then it happened, of course. That soft-goal gifted to our Serbian friends. The only clean sheet we've kept this season was against the 10-men of Blackpool at home, so hey, we had to give one away here, so why not just REALLY give it away with a dodgy handball from Denilson. 1-1, instead of 3-0, and we were in really familiar territory.

With the goal, we revert to our nervy first few minutes, and I was happy just to get into half-time at 1-1.

Second half, not bad, and 10 minutes in, we're given the perfect life-line. Penalty, red card...and of course, always one to have deep suspicions of a gift horse, we proceed to shoot the damn animal in the mouth with a sad penalty straight at the ex-Wigan goalie. Sheer agony on the part of us Arse fans, but hey...not that surprising, no?

By then, it looked like there was nothing we could do. There were stretches where the 10-men of Partizan actually looked vaguely dangerous on the offensive, and I was wondering if 1-1 was that bad a result. (Upon switching the channel and learning that Shakhtar were turning over (Sporting) Braga, the answer became clear. No, one point would be crap).

With the Partizan defensive wall looking good, it was a nice surprise to see Chamakh do what he does best with his head. Twice. Good header onto the bar, better one into the empty net. Crossed myself, and hoped for more to come in killing off the tie.

It would finally come with Arshavin off, and after his many crap corners, Nasri finally delivers a decent one onto the head of the Squid. 3-1. Game over?

No...of course not.

Why not make it interesting. When Gibbs gave away yet another stupid, preventable penalty, I swear I expected the 10-men to make total fools of Arsenal.

But they, cometh the moment, cometh the man. Fabianski saves us. Who would ever thought we'd hear that. Yes. He did. An actually quite excellent save, much better than the save from Almunia from what was a much worse penalty over the weekend.

He let out his howl, and I let out my own quiet howl.

Just so there would be no further doubt, the dude saves his defenders again with another pretty save following yet more comical defending from Djourou and the Squid.

3-1, 6 points, top of the table. I'll take it.

But problems remain, no? Not sure about you, but this habit of being charitable needs to be looked at asap. Preferably before Sunday, to say the least. Yes, we could score the goals, but the defending at times was at sea. Song went on one too many journeys up the pitch, and we too often looked too exposed at the back. Not quite right, if you asked me.

Vermaelen's one week injury is into its 4th or 5th week, so I suppose we should expect maybe 2 or 3 more. Fingers crossed Koscielny and Squid put in one of their better performances, and Song has his defensive head on on Sunday.

Wenger has said all the right things about the team and his goalkeeper, and we've got more than enough time till Sunday to think about what's going to happen then. For one, looks like we'll have Fabianski in goal again. Hey, Fabianski in a goalkeeping heat is far better than Almunia in an opposite funk.

Ciao then. Methinks I'm getting enough of frustrations. Not that Sunday's going to make things different...

Now What???

Okay, it's Monday. And this is what I think.

I can understand if we aren't going to win the League this season. I'll take it on the chin.

I'm not going to be too hung up if we don't win the Champions League either.

In fact, it's not going to kill me if we go another season trophy-less. (And the Carling Cup doesn't count really, as a trophy. Just like the Emirates Cup. Not that we're going to win it. I see us getting slapped at Newcastle).

I can get by if we get beat at home by Chelski or Man U.

God forbid, I've seen us get beat by the likes of Blackburn and Wigan away from home, and I've gotten over it.

But what is totally unacceptable, absolutely unforgiveable, and a disgraceful sop to fans, is getting humiliated at home by West Brom.

Yes, it was 3-2 in the end, but the damage had been done. The pride as an Arsenal fan, the joy at watching a game at the Emirates, shattered. The only thing that has emerged less damaged is our goal difference.

West Brom, who had lost their first two away games. Scored zero, let in seven - six from the Champions - but at the Emirates, and despite our possession, played us off the pitch offensively.

There's enough said about Almunia and the second goal, and I would add even the third where he showed us what a man lacking in confidence can do when faced with the choice of staying on his line, or committing to the challenge. He did neither.

I'm not going to say more about our goalkeepers. Except to note that on Tuesday, we saw one, and on Saturday, yet another. Only Arsene Wenger will be able to explain (away) the situation.

(I did a funny thing. I can't imagine why, but arsenal.com still has their "Choose Your Man of the Match" deal going on, and just for fun, I clicked on Manuel Almunia. Guess what. He was 2nd in the poll. Yessiree. Wonder if everyone was just having some cruel fun).

Wenger's said that he did not recognise the team on the pitch. Well. Screw me. I recognised every single one of them. I'd have rather appreciated an apology actually. with 60,000 at the Emirates, and many millions more watching, this didn't quite cut it:

"It is the first real bad performance and it is unexplainable how bad the whole thing looked for the whole game."

The first? Surely there cannot be more that will come even remotely as close. And we've only played six. Unexplainable? Surely not.

What made it even more unacceptable (and not unexplainable) was that we'd have seen Chelski get beat in the lunch-time kick off. We'd have known that this was the time, that West Brom at home was as good as it would get.

But maybe that was the problem. Them 11 Arses that took the pitch probably did so having already felt the tie won. And that, Mr Wenger, was the problem. And for that, I would have to say, would have you culpable.

So will we bounce back? Nothing better than to have the opportunity to do so quickly, and at a difficult place all the way in Belgrade. But really, you never know, do you?

Till then.

I'm still depressed, but a little bit less so. Thank god for Spurs and Lemon Gallas to at least make me smirk.

UPDATE: Since I'm feeling just a tad better today, I thought I should add my two-cents worth to the "What do we do with our goalkeeping situation" question.

You know what?



Take a look at this. "Someone" should take a page from this dude's book. Make a dumb-ass mistake, take off your shirt, run off the pitch, and never return. Now, this wasn't his first dumb-ass mistake, but his second, so you could understand his honourable way out. If only, if only...

For now, anyways, we'll have to make do with an "elbow injury", and for that we now have the rather reassuring news that Fabianski back in goal for Partizan. Just the sort of fillip we all need to get our moods up! Hooray! Maybe Fabianski should check out Youtube...

Review: Arsenal 2 - West Brom 3

Just a few words:

An unprecedented, f__king disgrace.

More later as I recover.

Worth it...sort of

Okay, I admit it. By and large, I suppose it was worth it.

4-1 at White Hart Land is always good. Seeing Twitchy 'arry give his best non-plussed twitchy look is also good, but not as good as watching Spurs fans empty their own stadium with a whole 15 minutes left to play in extra time. I mean, what the hell does that mean? Do you not have an iota of faith in your team? Was it that obvious that you were out of your league? (Yes). Was the ticket to a meaningless Carling Cup tie so cheap that it didn't really matter not seeing your favourite players for another 15 minutes?

It was also worth it as a lesson to 'fael fan der Faart. To stop talking and concentrate on the damn football. There's been talk that yes, we fielded a pretty strong team, but let's be clear, Spurs did not exactly field 11 kindergarten team players. Just by fielding Fabianski, we gave as good as a one goal handicap (which was what happened), so I'd say both teams started the game with similar intentions.

Except that it looks like we have a wee deeper squad.

The first half was pretty much excellent stuff, and while you'd always be happy with 1-0 at White Hart Lane at half time, I'd have been much more comfortable with 2-0, as our play had deserved. Spurs were nowhere, Wilshere was bossing things, and I was wondering what happened against Sunderland. So 1-0. Should've been more, and as expected, we paid for it.

Fabianski. Lets another one slip by, and I'm sure he'll be rewarded with yet more time on the pitch. Although it was interesting that Wenger said that "he touched it and he looked like he had it. Apart from the goal he had a good game...but overall it is good for him that we won."

Translation: the fool had it covered. He had barely anything else to do it. Good thing we won, the stupid arse.

I must say, I don't think I have ever in my time watching Arsenal's goalkeepers, felt as strongly or as surely about how this Fabianski sucks. But I'm not going to going on about this any more. It's Wenger's call to make.

So, good to great performances just about all through the pitch (except in goal). Wilshere stood out as usual, Vela looked unfortunately isolated at times, Koscielny immense as usual...I'm pretty happy. Who knows, we may just see Henri Lansbury a few times off the bench soon. But it was interesting that Wenger left Jay Emanuel-Thomas (let's just say JET) on the bench. Wonder if we'll see a bit of him v West Brom.

And oh yeah. Nasri. Now that's how you take penalties. The pressure was on, and both were as cool as French concombres.

Twitchy 'arry: "I thought the first one was harsh. He fell over. Really I think he dived for the first penalty."

Awww. You poor poor thing. But don't worry. You're still a bigger team than Arsenal.

Final word on the linesman. The linesman who wrongly flagged when Gibbs was marginally onside late in first half. The same linesman who wrongly didn't flag when Keane was marginally offside in the second. Well, what can you do? It needn't have come to extra-time. But it did.

For everyone out there who wants to re-live the whole thing over and over, though, enjoy:



We're on to the fourth round (big fat yay), and you know, as is par for the course now, we get news of yet another injury. Gibbs and his damn wafer metatarsals. I'm pretty sure I'd rather Gibbs to Clichy these days. Oh well. So long as we manage to put together 11 for a kickabout on Saturday then.

BREAKING UPDATE: Gibbs' injury is only short term. Holy Mary Mother of...I'm not sure if this is the first time ever that an Arsenal injury has turned out to be less serious than originally feared. We must be turning a karma korner. Amazing.

It must be me. I've been getting used to - Oh, he seemed perfectly fine walking off the pitch. Probably just lost a couple of leg hairs. And two days later, we find out he's broken 12 bones, 9 toe-nails, couple of hamstrings and will be out for 8 years. So this is pretty good news.

Anyhow, here's my bet for the starting 11 on Saturday: Almunia, Sagna, Vermaelen, Squid, Clichy, Wilshere, Denilson, JET, Nasri, Arshavin, Chamakh. On the bench: Pat Rice, Pat Jennings, Ian Wright.

There's more good news from Mexico too. Looks like the Mexican FA has gone and banned Carlos Vela from international duty for six months from this month. Woooohoooo! Something to do with a party after the recent internationals. Hmph. Whatever. No more stupid long flights for internationals, injuries, jet lag, whatever. Excellent stuff. Keep it up, boy!

Final bit of trivia for the day. Looks like Mancini's finally figured out who he has in his dressing room. A bit of rich wusses, pussies, and other undescribables. Well Hallelujah! Amen.

"But at the same time it is important they start to change their mentality. If they want to become a top squad and a top team they must change it. It is impossible that every three days players do interviews complaining that they are not playing."

All I can say is: well, what the #$%!&^% did you expect?! Crikey.

Review: Sunderland 1 - Arsenal 1

I've thought about this long and hard. And what new is there that I can say?

In the first half, we were guilty of a bad bad letdown from Wednesday. We looked understandably lethargic, lacking in inspiration, and for god's sakes, we were outpassed by Sunderland Athletic. In any case, we showed we were worthy of the luck of champions, when Cesc did his best to deflect a perfect lob for our goal.

We were lucky to get into half time still 1-0 to the good, and I must admit, I had a pretty good feeling about the game at the point in time. The Squid and Koscielny looked solid, and despite all of Sunderland's possession, we still looked dangerous those few times we had a look at the ball.

Second half - more of the same, Squid and Co. looked as comfortable as our offensive options looked blunt. Cue referee to screw the whole thing over. Song off for a rather soft second yellow (I'm being very very politically correct here), and the whole rhythm of the game changes yet more in Sunderland's favour. The Arsh off, and there went any hope of an offensive resurgence.

Even then, we were gifted the penalty. There I was, thinking 2-0, in such a one-sided away tie, just the perfect result for us. Then up stepped Rosicky, and I'm like...this is shit. Why is he taking the damn penalty? Is he pushing the accidental captain's armband a little too far? Do we not have Chamakh? What? What's happening? Oh, I see. I know what's happening. We're skying the goddamn penalty.

At that moment in time, I look over to Arsewiper Jr, and say: "We're going to lose."

So the fact that we didn't, I'd like to think, is a bonus. Yes, letting in that last-second goal was utterly utterly pathetic. The thing I'd laughed at with Man U in days of recent past. Yes, Clichy was the one who let us down, who let Squid and Co. down, who was where Song might've been in the middle of the box. It was truly, sickening. Nauseating. And the worse thing is, it was just about expected.

But on the positive side, that last-gasp goal - I'm just glad it wasn't for 2-1, instead of 1-1. You piss over a gift-horse by missing a penalty, you deserve to get pissed on in return. I'm going to make myself feel better by saying that at least it was only a half-piss back. Sunderland have supposedly only lost once at home all 2010, and on this showing, methinks they didn't really deserve to lose. They took the game to us, out-played us for vast stretches, and deserved it. Fair play to them.

To us, well, let this be a lesson. It's still a nice time for lessons. Lessons on Rosicky taking a penalty. Lessons that Clichy could take in calm under fire. Lessons that we'll need learnt by the time we head to Stamford Bridge.

As for our start to the season, 3 points would have been momentous, and almost unheard-of victory that would never have come to pass in seasons past. 1 point is far from a disaster. Sunderland will likely take a couple off the top few in months to come. This time last season, it was played 5, win 3, lost 2. This time, it's two points more, and still unbeaten. Nothing to be sniffed at, and I'll take it.

So. Why not a player rating, just to get it off my chest:

Almunia 7 - Pretty good actually. Hat's off to the man, and there was little where he could be faulted.

Sagna 6.5 - Efficient, if not his usual effervescent self. Wonder why. He had a rest.

Squid & Co 7.5 - I'm beginning to like their partnership. Generally commanding, kept the defence solid, and could hardly be blamed for the goal.

Clichy 5 - Yes, he's to blame, if you asked me. That, and one too many stray passes and dodgy moments. It may be time for Gibbs.

Song 6.5 - Really, had a few too many niggly little fouls for our puritan ref's liking. Nothing deserving a red, but still...

Cesc - What a great goal. Shame he keeps injuring himself while scoring goals.

Wilshere 7 - Deserves to be in the starting 11. What a lad. With balls.

Nasri 6 - Kinda damp, no? Had a few good moments, but contributed to our overall offensive malaise.

Rosicky 6 - Tried his best, but alas. Alas, alas, alas.

Arshavin 5.5 - Again, at his frustratingest best.

Chamakh 6 - No service, no action. Can't fault his commitment.

As we dust ourselves off, and head off to White Hart Lane, I can't help but wonder if Wenger shouldn't just throw the damn game. What's it worth? Can't we just forfeit the damn thing? Who cares? If we win, yay. Yet another fixture to add to the congestion. If we lose, Spurs will think they've won the World Cup. Not worth it by any stretch of the imagination. Hey, if fan der Faart thinks Spurs are a bigger club than Arsenal, then so be it. He can have his damn Carling Cup tie.

Speaking of which, what kind of fetish do these fools have? Why does it always have to be about Arsenal? Get a life. And you, Fat Sam, get a life too. Who cares what you think, if you should be managing Real Madrid, if you're better than Arsene Wenger. Just make sure you're satisfying Mrs Fat Sam, and get a life. This ain't about anyone else but you and what you do. So just do it. Even if it's at bleedin' Ewood Park. Loser.

So there we are. What we really need now is the fast forward button to Saturday, West Brom, and 6-0 again. That would be nice.

Ciao ciao.

We Must Be Doing Something Right!

Well, I ain't going to be reporting what exactly Fat arse Sam Allardyce and now Owen Coyle have been talking about. In sum, who the hell cares. They're Blackburn and Bolton. If they're pissed with Wenger, talking with their sphincter muscles, fine. We must be doing something right. I'd be seriously worried if Wenger was suddenly best friends with either one of them. Just go cry somewhere else.

You wanna know what's wrong with English football? Start looking at your managers. Classless buffoons.

Even the best British managers ain't English, come to think of it. David Moyes, Sir Alex, and I'd even include Alex McLeish. Hey, even Mark Hughes is Welsh. Thank god for Roy Hodgson eh? If not for him, you'd probably those two buffoons sitting on the top of the list of English managers in their own Premier League. (Is it not symptomatic and utterly poetic that Fat Sam is being talked about as a future England manager? Just brilliant).

Elsewhere, I hear that Sir Alex is thinking that Antonio Valencia could be back as early as February. Wow. That's quite something eh? Let's just see. That's like what? 5 months? It's taken Bent Nick probably six months, and his damn groin is still acting up. The boy has a break and it's only five months? Either (a) it's more like May, then February, or (b) he's made of something else, and our players are not. 50-50 likelihood of either, I'd say.

Well well well. It being a rather slow news day, methinks this is it. There's enough out there about what Wenger has said about Almunia (expected) and Cesc about mistakes (expected), so the only thing left for me to do is look forward to Saturday.

Bring 'em on!

Review: Arsenal 6 - (Very) Sporting Braga 0

Now that was bliss.

Solid performances all across the pitch, confidence oozing from the pores of all 11 players on the pitch, and a nice, European na·ïve·té from our charitable Portugese visitors. On this latter score, I suppose this is exactly why we love European nights like this. It's not Bolton, Blackburn and for sure, Sunderland away. These continental chaps come to the Emirates, determined to play some football, allow us time on ball, time to stop, flick, backheel, stop for tea, and buy a newspaper. How nice. And sporting.

I don't suppose either Shakhtar or Belgrade will afford us the same luxuries when they visit, and especially when we visit, so I'm just going to savour the moment for now.

As far as our performance was concerned. Well. It was literally, from the first minute, that you could sense a certain hunger in the team, and a certain fear in Braga. It suited us just fine, and it was a long 8 minutes before we finally got our goal.

Cesc made it - and he just about made everything else good on the night. This was Captain Cesc, and the boy earned his wages and more on the night. Is he playing in a different dimension? Indeed. Braga let him loose, and paid for it tonight.

Wilshere was immense, and had both vision as well as a toughness in the tackle we've lacked in recent seasons. Nasri was running all night long, and was as good tracking back in defence as he was going forward. Chamakh - is looking more and more like RVP on steroids. RVP and Bent Nick beware - on this form, he has the best of you both, and more. Think speed, strength and bollocks in tackling. Le Squid and especially Koscielny were excellent too. For once, we saw a defensive spirit that had Koscielny getting into the tackles in the 85th minute of an already-won game as if it was the first in a game with Man U.

Song was our metronome as always, and Vela continues his amazing run of three goals two games in barely 45 minutes on the pitch.

A word too on the Arsh. Even he, managed to mix up his usual moments of frustrating casualness and wastefulness with a couple of sublime assists. Had himself a goal, and should've had another but for the damn post.

Truly, an evening to behold. So just enjoy it again and again.



But that's just it. It was an evening to behold, and evenings don't make seasons. We'll hardly have more pre-pubescent visitors to the Emirates, and the games that would show us more might perhaps have been Blackburn, Bolton, and hopefully Sunderland at the weekend.

In a sense, therefore, what I take away from the night is not how brilliant our football can be. That we're all well aware of. Last night was a virtuoso performance, no doubt. But what has given me the nicest, warmest feeling in my belly was our defensive performance.

THAT was different, and if we keep that up, things could this time be different. You can't help but be optimistic. To have the options of Koscielny, Squid, Vermaelen and Djourou...a nice change from knowing we've got Silvestre waiting in the wings.

Elsewhere, and the evening before, it was nice watching Spurs snatching a draw from the jaws of victory. I'd watched the game till they got their 2-0 lead, cursed a lousy Bremen, and switched to Man U-Rangers. No joy there too, in a really, quite drab game. Full marks to Rangers, but I have to say, I feel for Valencia.

Funny thing is how we too have had our share of horrible breaks (from criminal challenges), and Man U seems to get their horrible breaks from sheer arse luck (Alan Smith too).

It's already Thursday. The nice week continues. So on to Sunderland.

Ciao.

Nice...

It's really been a nice weekend, hasn't it?

Nice hiding given to Bolton, nice little "exciting" game over at Goodison Park, great results for Spurs and Manciti, and even yesterday, we saw exactly how Pool are going to be real contenders for a Top 16 place this season. To be outplayed by Birmingham, and to be thankful for one point...that's gotta be a nice feeling for them Liverpudlians.

AND!

A bit further afield, the scoreline of the season so far has to be Barcelona 0 - Hercules 2.

I mean, shit. You can be Barca, you may have your Messis, and your Xavis, and your Iniestas. But f around with Hercules, and you're gonna get whipped and pummeled right up your own alley. Just sweet. Can't wait for the day Hercules comes playing in the Champions League. It's gonna make some nice print. Didn't know that Trezeguet's doing his bit for Hercules, but good for him.

There's a new name in town, and there's a new team I like: HERCULES!!

You know, I actually spent more than a few minutes watching Liverpool get largely humiliated at Birmingham. They're a sad bunch, yeah, but I'm glad I watched it. A lingering cinematic mystery's been solved as far as I'm concerned.

We've all watched Psycho right? Anthony Perkins/Norman Bates? Well, we all knew it was always Bates wearing his mother's wig, stabbing them lovely ladies in the shower right? Well. It wasn't. It never was. You know who it was?



It was that damn Glen Johnson. The hair. No doubt.

He's taken so long, he's still not gotten used to that damn ugly, dead animal on his head; he still fiddles with it every time the camera goes anywhere near him.

Pool fans, you know you're in shit when a cross-dressing Norman Bates is one of your better players.

While spending a few nice hours staring at the current league table, sniggering at the places where some people (like Liverpool) find themselves, I could not but help realise that there is after all, still one team above us. Chelski, yeah. Of course.

I know, there are many out there who are talking about how they're unstoppable, Championship material, etc. But heck. Have a look at their opening four fixtures: West Brom, Wigan, Stoke and West Ham.

Think about it: that's 16th, 17th, 19th and 20th in the table. How the hell did they get an opening draw like that? Yeah, I know Romano Bloodybitch works his magic in all the FA Cup draws, and Champions League draws, but that opening four games, real magic I tell you.

Next they have Blackpool - before Manciti and then us.

So.

I was reading this the other day too, and suddenly, Flamini's departure seems now to make perfect sense. It was never really about us, about how we treated him, about how we never started real negotiations on a new contract and wages - but about how bloody sneaky the dude was/is.

Kinda smart, and you kinda wonder why more people don't do it, i.e. play out your entire contract, leave on a free, and negotiate a bumper wage hike with your new employers who wouldn't have had to pay a dime in transfer fees, buy-out clauses, etc.

Brilliant.

Asshole.

Just imagine - not really regular starting 11 material in a piddling AC Milan, but the wages...

Final bits for today then: I was sitting down to watch Everton-Man U on Saturday, right, and being real Arsenal supporters now, my two junior representatives are going on about how bad Rooney is, etc etc etc. Then my little girl asks, "is he playing today, dad?"

"Er, no."

Pause.

Pause some more.

At last... "OK, that's good."

Phew. No "why, dad???"

There was no way I could've answered a "why" without lying...

Instead, my little boy says, "yeah, he's not very good these days anyway."

Exactly.

To all my Man U fans out there - my sympathies for having to explain to your little ones why Rooney was left out on Saturday.

If Rooney's your no. 1 player - then no sympathies, I'm afraid.

Fun-nee.

Cheerio. Till tomorrow, au revoir.

P.S. Allow me to share a moment of immense parental pride. For some weird reason, Mrs Arsewiper asked about Tony Adams (she asked if he was the alcoholic one, and if she had his name right) at the dinner table a couple of nights ago. Before I could say anything, my little girl says: "Yeah, he's a legend."

Indeed. The process is complete. The household is now 100% Arsenal.

Review: Arsenal 4 - Bolton 1

There I was, at half time.

Muttering to myself under my breath. Feeling like a right old fool. Having just spent 45 minutes in front of my laptop, trying to catch a glimpse of a game through a lousy stream, that stopped every 3 minutes, and with commentary in Italian to boot.

I wondered to myself. Football fans like us - or maybe it was just me - must be a bunch of sick sado-masochists. We torture ourselves for two weeks, getting through the damn international break, make do with internationals involving England and Rooney, watch Theo get injured, get news of an even longer RVP injury, look forward to Saturday, and then...

We have to sit through this shit. 40-odd minutes of pretty good stuff, yes. First goal for Koscielny on his home debut, nice domination, some nice passing, but some really really bad finishing. Mostly from that damn Arsh. (Just too bloody fat and slow, man). So he misses two, if not three, when put clean through. And as half time approaches, with Bolton having done close to nothing, we let in the requisite stupid soft goal. TY. PI. CAL.

Utterly utterly pathetic. Yes, Koscielny was guilty of a limp header back towards Almunia, but the defending after that, and Almunia's own role in the fiasco were just classic crap defending. Maybe it was the stream, but everything was like, slow-mo.

1-1. Half time. And my sentiments above.

Second half - and I suppose what happened in the second 45 minutes is a better excuse for why we're Arsenal fans. Chamakh first had a good effort on goal, which brought out a decent save from that Bogdan guy, and from the resultant corner, ball back into the box, and yet another unstoppable Chamakh header. The guy can't seem to stop scoring with his head!

Then, the game changing moment. Bolton's best player, Gary Cahill, stupid challenge on Chamakh at the touch-line, red card. You know, that was just a case of stupid refereeing.

First, Arshavin was clean through following from Chamakh's back heel. Advantage anyone?

Second, with play being allowed to continue, a yellow would probably have been the right sanction.

Red was kinda harsh, but I ain't complaining. Cahill probably paid the price for other thuggish challenges from his mates.

So there we are. 2-1 up, and with Bolton's defensive spine off the pitch. Cheeky little goal from Song, followed by a nice finish from Vela to top it all off.

Could've been more, but four against Bolton will always be nice.

I don't think I saw enough of the game to be able to do a worthy player rating, but some of the stand-outs for me:

Gibbs/Eboue - interesting to see them start. Did well all in all, and a rested Clichy and Sagna will do us wonders for Braga on Wednesday.

Squid - nifty debut in what could've been a very iffy tie. It might just come to pass that among the three of Vermaelen, Squid and Koscielny, we'll have a perfectly interchangeable bunch for the two places. Nice.

Song - the metronome. Solid, dependable, and he's got a touch too, man. Nice little chipped goal.

Fabregas - looked languid at times, but his assists (and near assists) were classic.

Chamakh - never looked out of place with the physicality of Bolton. He's looking a better and better buy (free!) everyday.

Arshavin - he needs some time on the naughty bench. He needs to step it up, and now. With Nasri back, and Rosicky still doing fine, why not let Nasri take his place on Wednesday?

A fine and dandy Saturday then. Coz elsewhere...

Shall I mention Goodison Park? Goddamn. Man U's caught that Arse habit of giving points away. First Fulham, which was horrid, and now Everton, which was by far, horrider. Two goals up, injury time to play - and they could seriously have even been beaten. Trust me. As an Arsenal fan, I know how it feels.

Doesn't mean I can't laugh though!

And oh yeah. The other team from Manchester must be feeling the heat too as well, eh? All that money. All that dinero. For a draw with Blackburn? That not goin' to work, Mr Mancini.

And 1-1 ain't gonna work for twitchy 'arry too. Draw with West Brom. Suppose this is what van der Vaart means by Spurs being better than Arsenal. Snigger.

Ciao then.

You know what it feels like to have been deprived of football for so long?

You know it's bad when you actually look forward to Sunday (Birmingham - Pool), Monday (Stoke - Villa), Tuesday (Champions League Day 1) and Wednesday (BRAGA!!!)

Yay!

Shrek

First things first: looks like it's 4-6 weeks for Theo, and looks like the Arsewiper was closer to it than either Theo or ugly Fabio.

Nothing surprising there. I don't think anyone in the Arsenal camp does anything less than 4-6 week injuries. Fingernails cut too close usually result in a week or so off, so an ankle done in, and 4-6 weeks off seems rather reasonable. Could be worse. Could be Christmas, or even 2013. I'm pretty pleased, all in all. Hey, given that Defoe's out for what...3 months following that same blasted game with Switzerland...4-6 weeks out makes Theo look like a real toughie.

Speaking of toughies, Vermaelen's gone and picked up a little injury too. When it rains, it pours eh? These internationals again, I tell you. Anyway, Wenger thinks it's a small thing, and he should be ready for Braga on Wednesday. Centre of defence for Bolton: Squillaci/Koscielny. Talk about unfamiliar. Well, let's see how they deal with ole Kevin Davies.

Elsewhere, there's a bit of a piece in the Mirror on Jack Wilshere, his time at Bolton, etc etc. All extremely revolting, really - talking about how Jack arrived a boy and became a man. Just go see for yourself. Yuck. Bloody gross. I'm feeling dirty just by cutting and pasting that link. Gotta go wash my hands now...

OK, I'm back.

Speaking of dirty, here's a funny little bit of trivia today. Guess who said this, and of whom:

"I know a lot of people call him Shrek but he's actually not that ugly when you're sat in front of him."

With a little picture hint, you should be able to guess who Shrek is. Just add a bit of a pale, northern-English tone to the skin, and you'll get there. Although these days, he ain't smiling that much...

It's been a weird weird international break, really. Can't wait for tomorrow. Even Everton-Man U's going to be nice.

Where I am, sucks that I ain't gonna be watching the Bolton game on the telly, so I may just have to resort to the ole lousy stream. Shit.

Till tomorrow, then. Ciao.

So I looked into my crystal ball...

And got it spot on. Theo. A fuzzy image of him getting injured...

It looked like a strange setting, not the Emirates, so it had to be an international. Yes, a rather silly, nothing type of challenge. Pure arse luck...sounds right.

I suppose with the news of RVP's injury, it was always well within the realms of Arsenal's injury reality that Theo would immediately get crocked too.

So sayeth Fabio:

"I spoke with Theo and he told me it is not a big problem. I said 'two weeks', he said less."

I say tomay-to, you say tomato, I say potato, you say potah-to. I say one month, probably.

As for RVP, he's out till mid-October. . Not totally surprising, and you have to wonder what the heck is up. He plays 4-5 games at the World Cup, no problems. Eases back into the Premier League with a few minutes against Pool, and by the first couple in his start the next week, he's crocked. I like him like a lot a lot a lot, but this is getting almost farcical. When was the last time he went through a season without being out for longer than a month? Never?

There's good news about Nasri's earlier than expected return. Given our record of getting people back off the injury table, on the pitch, and back on the table...I won't be rushing this one. No sirreee.

Let's pray (very hard) that Chamakh's made of sterner stuff. That would include anything harder than a roasted marshmallow, right now.

Did anyone have anything better to do last night than watch Switzerland and England? As I've also said before (this Arsewiper's getting cockily good at making general, sweeping, predictive statements), the Swiss are mighty good at letting people down. What happened to a nice, study 0-0 draw? Sheesh, they were horrid. They even let Rooney score, of all things. He who likes to pay to score, gets gifted a freebie by the Swiss. Man.

Of course now, as expected (I'm beginning to hate that word), England are all...oooh...we're goin' to win it now, we are...

Adam Johnson: "We've come off the back of two great wins and everyone is happy. It's a great two results and we're looking forward to meeting up again full of confidence. Coming into the qualifying group, there was a lot of pressure on us. I think with two wins, we're top of the group, we're full of confidence and we want to push on."

Methinks these England players need a good dose of a media/PR consultant. Play it down, fool. Keep it cool; just say the usual: "It's only two games, we have a long way to go to recover. We'll need to regain the trust and confidence of our fans. We've got two good results, but the greater challenges lie ahead" kind of thing. Not this. But what can you do? They're not England players for no reason.

I'm told this morning that I would've done better trying to watch Spain get whipped by Argentina in a friendly. Indeed. Should've.

Cesc played all of 56 minutes. In friggin' Buenos Aires. In a useless friendly. I'm sure he's now going to need some time to get back into the swing of things in red and white. He'd better be back at the Emirates like NOW, and not having another of those little orgies in the team hotel.

There's some talk out there linking us with another pre-pubescent wonderkid. This time, the boy's Japanese. Ryo Miyachi. Word has it that he's faster than a Naruto on drugs, deadlier than a raging Pikachu, and cuter than a Doraemon on heat.

Add in that Wenger will probably be able to sing him Japanese lullabies, give him his bento box lunch and slip him a Pocari during training. It all looks good to me, so let's just sit on our hands and wait another five years for him to really grow up.

Also some (patently stupid) talk around also of us raiding Barca for another youngster. This time, some kid with an Oreo name. I mean, how stupid is that? Why the shit would we even want to go near Barca again? Avoid that godforsaken place like the frigging plague man. Get a boy from Barca, he and his Catalan mates gonna come back and suck the bejeezus out of you once they're old enough. Don't want to go near that man. What kind of sick sense of humour would link us with another kid from Barca? People these days...

Which reminds me. You know how far you want to stay away from Barcelona? Check out this movie. Pretty good. Set in Barcelona, and pretty much sums up my sentiments of the people running around the Camp Nou.

Before I forget though - here's something on ANOTHER 17-year old. Not Japanese, not Spanish, but Brazilian, and with a snazzy enough name to boot. Wellington Silva. (Looking forward to Nike's new line of Wellingtons). Seems he really has already agreed terms, and should be here in January to hop straight into the first team. Heh. He'll count towards our "home grown" numbers. Yay!!

Ending with this as a last bit - so do you don't get nauseous at first go - Vermaelen's now gone and talked about Cesc's DNA:

"Cesc carries Barcelona in the heart, in his DNA ... therefore it is impossible for him to forget about them."

"He was determined to go to Barca last summer, he more or less confessed it in the dressing room. But that is past history. Now he is 100 per cent ready to put his all in to a great season with Arsenal."

Can't really imagine the scene in the changing room. Must've been like when, you go out with a girl for 10 years, you're in your prime, at the edge, and then, the girl from your past re-appears, flicks her hair at your a couple of times, you're smitten (again), and face the truth of having to explain it all to your current girl.

"Errr....we grew up together. Really, we did. She gave me my first kiss. We were 6. She let me see hers, and I let her see mine. We were inseperable. We held hands. For 10 years, we spoke everyday. Then we went to high school in different towns, and somehow, lost touch."

"Believe me, I really do love you. You've done so much for me, you've helped me get where I am today. I'd be nothing without you. Nothing."

"But, she's the one. It's not just her. In fact, it's not her at all. It's me. I need to go back. It's just in me. I hope you understand."

"I'll always love you. But that's where I belong.

"But I'll give you another go. I'm yours now. 100%."

And in everyone else's head: Prick.

Was that a weekend?

Oh, of what use is a weekend?
When there's no proper football being played?
When there's no nervous energy to expend,
and news is just about Rooney getting laid.

Ah, but now we know,
just why ole Wayne has been so crap -
He's been at it with another ho',
and has been frettin', scared of Colleen, and a right proper slap.

Hope you enjoyed that. Nothing much going on is there? Some bollocks about Cesc and his move to Barca. Cue Cesc:

"Barcelona did all they could to sign me but Arsenal told me I had to stay, that there was no way they were going to let me go. In the end I had to stay - but the content of my conversation with Arsene Wenger will remain private."

Erm, yeah. Nothing new is there? Coming from a guy whom we all know is gonna leave sooner rather than later, no big deal. Funny how there are those out there who also claim that since Barca have not offered the #4 shirt to anbody yet, the door's open for even a January sale. We'll see.

For now, let's just focus on Bolton on Saturday and see which Cesc shows up. Come to think of it...it might be funny watching him celebrate after scoring a goal this season, no? (If he scores, touch wood!) He who kisses the badge almost every other time. We'll see.

To close off for today: for everyone out there who's having a bad day, who thinks his club sucks, who frets that his club didn't buy a damn goalkeeper, just be glad you ain't French - don't support the French national team, and don't have to see and hear things like France 0 - Belarus 1 and Anelka going on about his goddamn retirement. Quelle horreur!

Let's get Sagna, Diaby and Clichy out of that shit hole, and quick!

Singing Songs

It's been a few days. The earth stood still after the huffing and puffing over nothing during the last few so-called frantic moments of the transfer window, and so too have I stood still.

Barely able to cobble anything together, but I suppose there are a few rather amusing things to talk about today.

So.

Benjani: "It seemed like behind the scenes at Manchester City there is no class."

"I would prefer to be at a club where you can trust people around you. I would prefer to be here without all those facilities and be happy and to be able to trust everyone around me."

Martin Petrov: "At the moment at City, people are becoming more bad than good. The human relationships are lost and the trust is lost too."

"The players are going to play like millionaires and are not a team."

Now, do I sympathise with what they've said? 100%.

Do I feel sorry for them? Not one bit.

Let's get real. These dudes who joined the regime at Manciti, they knew, and they know exactly what they're in for. Spare me the crap about winning things, ambition, etc etc etc. They joined it now for the lurve, not for the Champions League.

It's the money, and where there's money, there's risk, and they took that risk. For now, Yaya Toure will take his 200,000 quid a week, shut the f up, and play his football. I think most would've known, and taken the qui pro quo of good money, but being subject to the vagaries of a nouveau riche club like Manciti. And aren't the nouveau riche oftentimes classless too?

So shut it. Take your money and run. Or take your money and sit on the bench.

There's a little story here on the Arsh as well. The man's been talking about his form of late:

"...I can say that my style has also altered – it is more effective but less sparkling. I don’t remember when was the last time I score a really beautiful goal."

"It’s frustrating. I tried to analyse this, but can find no answers. It is likely that my injuries last year had an affect, because on three occasions I was out for a month, but it is feeble to talk about injuries."

Yes, it's feeble. I'll tell you what it is. He's knackered. Plain and simple. Never has he had to run so much in his lifetime. Never has he had to work so much in training and on the pitch. Back in the good old days, he had his time, his energy, for all the moments of sparkling. Now, he just looks half-dead 90% of the time.

The dude looks like he's lost a bit of weight over the summer, and methinks it'll taken a few more months for us to see what he might really be capable of when he's really fit and up to it.

Finally, a little bit on the Marseillaise. You know, the Marseillaise is one of the anthems which I really quite enjoy listening to. Good, traditional quality stuff. But it's funny...

Laurent Blanc, now figures what he needs is to make his players sing the thing. He's serious alright. He's told them. He's passed them the lyrics. (Yes, he needed to give them fools the lyrics to their own anthem). So let's see.

You can be sure I'll be watching tonight - just for that first few minutes. (Reminds me of school, actually - this enforced anthem singing).

At least there's something on the telly tonight. Even if it's just England. I'd like to see Walcott score two goals, and then England lose 3-2. Bring on the money!