...ill...

Physically sick. Since 2.30am Sunday morning. Can't get out of bed. Overwhelmed by feelings of nausea. Total loss of appetite. Sex drive (thankfully) minimally diminished. Feelings of confusion and incomprehension. Fevered, wakeful sleep. Bordering on hallucinations. What's happening to me?

I think it's Severe Acute Post-Fulham Hull-icitis. I hope it's not chronic. I hear it can lead to suicidal tendencies. Have to go. Please help. Call the ambulance if you don't hear from me by Sunday next.

Pretty Boring

Nothing much happening in the run-up to tonight's game with Hull. The only thing worth noting, I suppose, is what Hull manager Phil Brown (who the F???) had to say about the Kevin Davies tackle:

"...there was nothing wrong with it. If you allow Arsenal to dictate that tackle goes out of the game, then we are finished. We have got that tackle on our side - they have got the technical side of the game on their side. If they are allowed to express that technical side without tackling, without physical contact, we might as well not turn up.”

Yes, strictly, there was nothing wrong with it. But the point is that particularly because of the nature of the tackle, the difference between nothing wrong and a broken leg is a milli-second. If teams think that it is worth that milli-second to risk a fellow professional's career, then they can F off, these half rate "physical" sides. I suppose if that's all you've got, then that's all you've got. Pathetic.

All in all, this could be a tricky tie. Hull will probably dig a moat around the box, stick their 10 outfield players behind the ball, throw in the occasional arrow, battle axe and machete and break a few legs. Considering that they've made the most tackles in the league so far (1,245,598), I hope we bring out chain mail, shields and gauntlets along with the shin pads.

So let's put this down to a 2-0 win. What we really need is an early goal - then let's see what these half rate losers do.

Denilson has come out and said all sorts of nice, optimistic things - and it really is nice to see the boy getting some confidence. From the odd Carling Cup goal, to a handful of impressive starts and goals is really something.

“I am very happy with what I’ve been doing on the pitch. It has been a great start for me and for the team. As games go by, I get more confident."

May he make a certain Mathieu Flamini nothing but a fleeting, not-so-pleasant figment of a distant past. Let's see what he makes of the Milan derby on Sunday.

A little side note as penultimate point. Champions League final in 2011 looks to be headed to Wembley. This is of some personal interest to the Arsewiper. Suppose with finals coming up before that in Milan and Madrid, there should be a good chance of the Arsewiper being at at least one in the near future. Muwahahahaha!!

Better Late than Never

Yes yes - I haven't said anything about our boys' 6-0 win over Sheffield United yet. Not that there's much to say, except "wow". I've seen the highlights (unfortunately, that's all I've seen), and it was truly amazing. Wonder who the boss is going to put out on Saturday. Ramsey? Vela? Wilshere? To have them play at that level, while still having Cesc and Denilson doing the work just gives you a nice fuzzy warm feeling in your gut.

I shan't go into all the adjectives available to describe the game. That's been done in the media already - the same media that ruled us out at the start of the season. So let's just take one game at a time, and look forward to the team that trots out on Saturday.

In the meantime, I'm gonna do justice to a great footie website in www.mightyfootball.com, and embed my first Arse game right here. And what better game to do it with, eh?



While everyone's spewing and gushing about our attacking verve, it was useful that Le Boss also spoke about our defence. Useful point to note: in our five Premiership games, the two goals conceded were from set-pieces, and in the Champions League, from the spot. So no goals thus far from open play. Especially with Hull, we've really got to watch against conceding stupid free kicks in our half, coz I think that's just about the only plausible way they're going to get anything from the Emirates. Evidence: Rooney's retard tackle on Arsely Hole which gave away the free kick on Sunday.

The news is that Gael is back (phew) and Silvestre's actually fit. Alex Song seems to have picked up a knock, which is unfortunate. But with Hull, I think we could dispense with the holding midfielder, and go for a straight 4-4-2. Now, what a nice problem, but which is our best 11 right now? Are we going to go Nasri, Cesc, Denilson, Walcott and then RVP, Ade? I actually think we can rest Ade. Give him something to think about, and stick in either Bendtner or Vela. Both must be just brimming with confidence right now, so why not? And RVP? I think we just play him as much as we can now. Who knows when he's going to pick up a knock.

There's also been some closure to the whole thing with fat ass Platini. Typical of what a loser he is, it took him (as a 53 year old) to have his father giving him a talking to come out and apologise:

"I have been told off by my father who set him on his way at Nancy.''

Yes, and Arsene probably screwed your mother Nancy too. The day I have to publicly admit being told off by my father (at age 53, not 13), is the day I euthanise myself. So maybe Mr UEFA President should take the cue.

Elsewhere, there's all sorts of nice things Cesc has been saying of late, and it all sounds rather Captainy:

“I cannot go to sleep as one day or other they will want to play more and more and the manager will want them to play more. I will have to be better and better. Wilshere, Ramsey, Merida — they all play in my position. This is great for me. I love competition."

“The manager is the best at giving youngsters a chance. No one comes near to him for that. He’s not scared to play everyone. He doesn’t care how old they are. It’s amazing. It’s why we have so many good young players. It’s the club’s policy. The loyalty is there when you see that the manager trusts you since you were 15, 16."

I like his last point in particular. How that gives fat ass Platini any room to criticise our youth policy I don't know. So you have a corps of young players, aged 18-23, firmly loyal to the club that took them in - what's the evil in that? What would the fat ass rather? A club full of short-socked Alexander Hlebs?

Psycho Shit Platini

Some totally bizarre quotes from #@$%! Michel Platini about Le Boss. Here are some of the choice words, which particularly directed against Arsene, seem to be seriously off. He must mean Romano Bloody Bitch or Man City or something. Can't understand what the hell he's going on about. But typical. Always hated that fat piece of shit.

"I like to talk about football, him (Wenger) about business. We must stop with Wenger and all that.''

"That is what makes football so great. It is what people like Wenger do not want, little clubs beating the big clubs, because they want their business.''

Like, what planet is that fat shit from? I think I know what it is. It's this French thing. Fat ass can't stand someone older than him looking decidedly more French, slimmer and cooler than his lard-faced pseudo-French visage.

Some of Le Boss's comments in response are in this story in Soccernet, so see what you all think. I can't see a better boss who stands for the greater good of the game than Arsene, so fat ass must be off his meds.

It's all too bizarre. And oh yeah -- see, Le Boss thinks like me. Video technology is in, I say. Screw the fat psycho. Aaargh. Such unnecessary irritation.

As for more serious matters, first, looks like we're gonna trot out the Arsenal U-21 team for the game with Sheffield United tonight. Excellent I say. Can't wait. What the heck does fat ass have to say about that? It's been a long time since I was excited about a Carling/Littlewoods Cup game, but this is it. Ramsey, Wilshere, Vela, Randall, Merida -- how can anyone not look forward to it? Comfortable 3-0 victory (at least) I say.

There's some quite funny stuff about one of my favourite clubs, Newcastle. Methinks Mike Ashley must have got one of those "I am a rich Nigerian, dying to give you some cash, if you would only give me £10million first" emails. Funneee, to say the least. Let's see. We've got Arabs, Russians, Americans in charge, now there's talk of Nigerians. Had a Thai too. Can't wait to see what happens over at Tyneside.

My Favourite Crap

Absolutely most favouritest thing is the fact that at the end of week 5, what we have is Arse at the top, and Spurs rock-bottom. Played 5, won 0, drawn 2, lost 3. Point differential after five games: 10 points. I suppose since Spurs finished 37 points behind us last season, there's still some work to do. Yes, yes, my friends. Let's go for a top four this season. Who knows, displacing Arse while so doing. Yes, one day. One day. I mean, One Day Ramos seems optimistic enough:

“It is not true. I am delighted to be in London and with Tottenham and I am having a marvellous experience.”

Wonder if it's the shopping he's delighted with.

Other most favouritest things are f course, the fact that (a) Robbie Keane still sucks. Most incredible £20million spent I've ever seen, and (b) his ex-Spurs #$%! is equally crap. That listless, aimless, lazy performance against Chelski was absolutely shocking. Now, I ain't a Man U fan by any stretch of the imagination, but even I could see he was a total disservice to the team -especially in the second half. Another monumental waste of money. Also (c) that Anelka too was totally crap, and (d) that Ronaldo once more showed us why he's just such a detestable diving ugly prick. Moment of the weekend was his yellow card.

But all said and done, this was a pretty nice weekend. Man U should have won, if they had just put in an average second half performance. It was kinda poetic that it was a totally unnecessary Rooney foul that gave away the free-kick that led to Kalou's goal.

Next up is the Carling Cup. Let's give Wilshere and Ramsey a good 90-minute run out, why don't we?

Review: Bolton 1 - Arsenal 3

We're Top of the Table! And what a great way to do it. When ultimate a-hole Kevin Davies scored in the 14th minute, it was a little worried sense of deja vu that came over me. But it wasn't too bad. It helped that Fat Sam's no longer in charge. Any concern, however, was erased at kick off. Our reaction was absolutely stunning. For some 15 minutes after the goal, the football that we played was out of this planet. Quite like nothing the EPL has seen this season. We hit the post twice, and opened up Bolton like they were a...a...erm...a really shit team. (For lack of analogy, I'm telling it as it is). Ade should've scored with his first chance, and Song too could have done better with his header.

Then, would you believe it. Who else, but Eboue who scores the equaliser. Yes, our Eboue. Who now has become the complete midfielder as Le Boss would describe it. haha. Great finish for someone scoring only his first league goal. Bendtner would score a minute or so later at the end of another great move, and it was expected that we would then slow down and take the foot off the pedal till half time.

After the break, Bolton came out, and we had to defend. But there was some maturity in the performance, and we always felt we could break at will. And so we did with goal machine Denilson popping up again to put it to bed late on. It was really quite like bliss.

To the player ratings:

Almunia 7.5 - Several excellent saves, always confident and kept us in the game with great saves at 2-1.

Sagna 7.5 - Excellent as always, and looked just as effective on the left as he always it is on the right.

Toure 7 - Nice, dependable performance again. But the dude had better score soon. Had a good effort today, but just missed. Hope all his recent misses don't put a dampener on his confidence in front of goal.

Gallas 7 - Like Toure, where necessary, looked generally comfortable. Nothing fancy, and a few good challenges here and there. Just what we need, I suppose.

Clichy 7 - Another good show, and we're just all glad his injury has turned out to be okay. Just "bruising" on his shin looks like. He's now got a week to get over it before Hull, so I'm not too concerned.

Eboue 7.5 - Would've given him slightly more, but he had too quiet a start in the second half. But his role in our come-back was incontrovertible. Added to his like little won penalty last weekend, his slightly off-side goal today should get him more confident going forward. Had another brilliant or two to add to his tally. Methinks if he keeps it up, he should score a small handful this season.

Fabregas 7 - Quiet, but still dependable performance by his standards. But I must say - we really should do better with the 17 (!!) corners we had during the game. Note to Le Boss: gotta work on the set-pieces. Bolton scored on one of their first corners, and Cesc should be whipping them in at greater speed and into more dangerous positions. We've got pretty decent people in the box with Toure, Gallas, Ade and Bendtner, so it was a pity we didn't make better use of the corners.

Song 7.5 - Beginning to like him quite a bit. His place in the new-look Cesc-Denilson-Song midfield looks like a brilliant brain-wave from Le Boss. Strong at the back of the two, but also decent going forward. Hit the post, and had a good shot in early in the second.

Denilson 8.5 – He's becoming this season's Flamini. Given the opportunity, he's shining more and more every game. Great assist for the second, and scored his second for the season with a cool finish. Got a good feeling about him.

Adebayor 8 - Would have given him more with his tireless assists and un-selfish play. Played in Denilson for the third and caused headaches all over the place. Should've scored his fourth of the season, but somehow hit the post.

Bendtner 8.5 - It's super encouraging when we can rest RVP and play Bendtner for a full 90 minutes. And what a show. Great ball for Eboue's goal, and finished off his first for the second a minute later. Many great touches, and he's a much stronger physical presence than RVP. Somehow, you get the feeling that's he's morely like to break someone than get crocked by the odd tackle. Which is reassuring, to say the least.

As for the subs, what can I say: our English duo of Ramsey and Walcott were super. Walcott's undoubtedly confident, and my money's on his first league goal next week.

Finally, best performance (9/10) of the weekend for us must go to the guys over at Anfield. Great performance there, to get a goalless draw against Stoke. Thanks dudes. So we're top of the table, and sets up this evening's Chelski - MU game perfectly. Any of the outcomes would suit us just fine. A draw, and we're still top. Chelski win would put MU in great position, and a Chelski loss is just the best feeling ever.

Nice weekend all round.

And our squad is not thin

Right. Earlier than we thought, the depth of our squad is beginning to look suspect, methinks. As we recover from Kiev and look forward to Bolton, it's scary that all we can do is celebrate that there were no new injuries. Yippee. But that means Diaby is as usual still crocked, Nasri is down and Silvestre, is well, Silvestre. WTF is all I can say. Add to this the fact that we bought faulty goods in A Fishy Fishshop (aka Amaury Bischoff) and have to write-off Rosicky, I think the picture should be pretty clear, no?

If we are to read the tea leaves on Rosicky, it must be clear that we will hardly see any more of the poor sod. Here's a particularly sad tea leaf. It's shocking that he hasn't played since January. Has it been that long??? Holy shit. I remember long ago, when he first got crocked that one his Czech coaches warned that this was career ending. Well lo and behold. So we have it. So that's ONE place to be filled, in addition to what's missing in holding midfield. That makes TWO.

As for Diaby. The way he's getting injured, I'll bet my mortgage that he'll also never be a regular, so let's put that down as THREE. Nasri, Silvestre and Fishshop combined aren't much to shout about injury-wise as well, so all in all, we need to do something serious in January - and start praying that we get no further injuries. September is a bit early for injury prayers.

We can't put too much strain on this squad as is. RVP's going to get crocked the time he's putting on the clock. Until Eduardo comes back, Bendtner and Vela aren't ideal. Good, but not good enough for now. Thank god too Alex Song ain't made of glass, so at least we've got one holding midfield position in place. I suppose with Ramsey and Wilshere, we've got kids ready. But that's a litle bit scary, if you asked me.

Review: Dynamo Kiev 1 - Arsenal 1

First off, let's just say I'm not too upset with a draw. First group game in the Champions League, having to play away at not our most favourite venue, one point is not too bad. That said, we should have won it, but nearly lost it. On balance, can't complain and say that this was two points dropped. It could've been an unlikely and painful three. I don't think this alone is going to hurt our chances. If we win all our home games, and sneak two more points (or even one) away from home, we'll still be fine.

As for the game itself, it's funny this review comes after what I said in yesterday's post about referees and rescinding bad decisions. A replay from any angle will show that the fucking cheat (aka Ognjen Vukojevicin - don't ask me how to pronounce it - not a typo) in front of Sagna had hauled him down. It was a pertty devious attempt, and if "simulation" is a yellow card offence, then this is a freaking bordering on red. So let me ask this: will, upon going hom and watching the highlights, the referee and UEFA decide on rescinding the awarded penlaty and the resultant goal? Of course not. For consistency's sake then - let's do away with all post facto decisions. Send bloody Captain Fantastic off to his three-match suspension. As far as refereeing is concerned, I'm not even going to go into the supposed three minutes of added time. Some mention of it here, though.

On the team performance, it was pretty typical of what we went through last season away from home too. Not too adventurous, rather subdued and shackled by a hard tackling home team. There weren't too many at the top of their game - exception maybe Theo and I'd say even Alex Song. He did a pretty decent job as cover for our back four. It was only when he left that the gaps started appearing.

Mohawk Billy has developed a rather useful habit of sneaking in at the far post for crucial goals. It's nice to know that there's always this lurking option which (tired) defences aren't always able to deal with. Theo put in good work for the assist too. Ade and RVP were probably tired from their exertions, and it may have been a better decision to take RVP off earlier. Carlos Vela was sadly ineffectual in the short time he was given - and same could be said of Bendtner when he came on as well.

So, we've got four points from the last two away games - and three in the more important one. Really can't complain. Three more in the next against Bolton and the final prognosis must be that we've done pretty well. After that it's the Carling Cup and Hull at home, so we should be shaping up nicely for the more crucial game at the Emirates against Porto on 30 September.

Alrighty then. Have already lost some sleep. Don't think I'm gonna lost any more for the damn 5.30 kick off against Bolton.

I Wonder How Much Romano paid

Much of the news today is about the red card for Captain Fantastic getting rescinded, and how Sir Alex is like so pissed off. Looks like the old Cap'n will play against Man U next weekend then. Wonder how much Romano Bloody Bitch paid for it. Probably a lot more than last season, since the sheikhs being on board would naturally raise prices.

But. More importantly...besides the fact that Sir thinks the same would never happen following a Man U appeal, the same old stupid question arises: if mistakes are made by referees, and the decisions are allowed to be rescinded post facto, then why shouldn't it be allowed for every damn thing - and not just red cards. It's just so goddamn stupid. If a penalty was given when it was clearly not one, then should the resultant goal be rescinded? If a goal was missed, when it crossed the line, should the goal be added, post facto? If it didn't cross the line? These are altogether more important things that a straight red and three missed games.

So this is what I say should happen. For all potential goals, penalties and straight reds, referees be allowed to instantaneously review it. The 4th official already does nothing but stand there and watch the telly. He can viewa couple of replays, confer with the referee, and a decision can be made in one minute. No hold up to the game, and proper decisions are made. I mean, for chrissakes, the game is held up by the stupidest of things now, like fake injuries, so why can't we put aside 30-60 seconds to keep the game together?

Shameless Evil Part II

There is order and there is madness in the universe.

First, the order. Spurs are rock bottom. One point in four games. Six points adrift of Hull, and two points away from second from the bottom Stoke. Let's see now...Pavlyuchenko, Modric, and my favourite a-hole David Bentley, I sure hope you're all feeling mighty clever with your transfer decisions. Losers. I suppose when a team loses one of their recognised "top two" in Robbie Keane, it really spells trouble for all the losers left behind and considered not as good as Keane. Keane's performance on Saturday against Man U was just classic. Totally useless, luckily left unnoticed. Let's hope Rafa continues picking him. What a useless waste of space on the pitch. Can't even do a proper somersault. Looks like a 5 year old rolling out in garden. But I suppose he ain't gonna have much more opportunity to do that these days.

Next to the madness. The sheikhs at City were reportedly looking at Ronaldo. No, the Brazilian one. I suppose after getting told to f-off by the younger, lighter one, they decided if they couldn't get him, they'd get the older, fatter, more injured, uglier (if at all possible) one. I suppose the sheikhs figured out that since both speak Portugese, it's more or less the same. Same name. Would sell the same jerseys. They'd probably also printed out a few for themselves, then figured they'd better get a player to go with the shirt.

Next thing you know, they're gonna start offering contracts to Pele, Beckenbauer, di Stefano, Muller, Puskas, Maradona (probably comes with free coke), Zico and (so they can sound smart) Socrates. They'd feel mightily chuffed with their own bunch of galaticos.

Wonder what I'd do if I was a City fan. It's a toss up. Do I kill myself now, or wait for a couple of years then do it?

It's times like these, when there's madness in the transfer markets and madness in the financial markets, that you gotta love Arsene Wenger and our board. We ain't Spurs, we ain't West Ham, we ain't Newcastle, we win't City, or Chelsea -- we're Arsenal. If this is the way City are going to get to get their 3 points, they can take it and shove it. No thanks, I say.

Shameless Evil

Yessirree...it's that time of the morning to indulge in some really juicy evil. Not very difficult to do really, given several events in Italy and Spain.

First, of course, there is Milan's second straight defeat of the season. And there they sit, second from the bottom. Zero points. I'm sure Flamini must be having a whale of a time. Bottom of the table, no Champions League...what the !#$% he's doing there, only he knows. But wait a sec. I do know why he's there. Just look at the line up, with the likes of: Maldini, Ambrosini, Zambrotta, Pirlo, Kaka, Shevchenko, Ronaldinho and Pato (on the bench!), I'm sure just being on the same pitch as these dudes would have strange expansionary effects on one's head and testicles. So if he left on a free to pander to his head and testes, then as I've always said, go for it. I see Pato replaced him on 70 or so minutes. Get ready for more time on the bench, dude!

Needless to say, Senderos didn't even make it to the bench. Screw me. Wonder what he thinks about his (alleged) comments re Milan being like the best thing since sliced bread. Almost as good as a ciabatta?

Of course, over in Spain, we also see Barca with one point from two games, a negative goal difference and hovering over the relegation zone. Nice that the ugly Belarussian got his ankle injured too. See that's what happens when you don't wear your socks high enough. At least NOW someone else gets a taste of the idiot's injuries.

Life is good. So Mat, Alex, if you're reading this, you might want to have a little click right here. Hoep this gives you just a little idea of what you're missing. Yeah yeah, I know -- better touch some wood, coz things are liable to come back and bite me on the arse. But hell, that's not going to stop me from gloating while I can.

Review: Blackburn 0 - Arsenal 4

Well, that was satisfying. Ade now has three for the season, and RVP's on three as well. A stroll in the park, and so many positives to take from that, but before I start gushing even more, two points which we should still take note of: some occasional defensive scary moments, and Ade's need to have some practice timing his runs.

First off, Theo - and it was great to see Le Boss giving him a start. He started confidently enough, and did quite a bit to torment the Blackburn defence. He started on the left, and since he later switched to the right, I think we can safely conclude that his preferred side must be the right. Caused so many more problems there - though of course his contribution to the first RVP goal was from his cutting in on the left. Denilson also had a superb game, and for once showed for the full 90 minutes that he could indeed be a full time stand-in in midfield. It was also great to see Song come on, and his contributions were immediately felt. Great stable, confident play in front of the defenders.

As noted earlier, it was great to see Ramsey get a run, and Wilshere too. Feel really happy for Ramsey that it was his excellent through ball that let Ade in for his third. And that second Ade goal - what a string of passes that led to it. Something like 27 touches, and no one touched it. Just yummy. Now to the player ratings:

Almunia 7 – Solid as usual. Never looked in any dubt. Great hands, super distribution. Another clean sheet. Not more you can ask for.

Clichy 7 - A quiet game by his standards, but always dependable still. What a rock.

Gallas 7 - Also a good, reliable quiet performance. No real need for him to get into one of his favourite rants, so we should all be glad.

Toure 7.5 - Gotta love the dude and his new hair. He was all over the pitch, and should have had a goal to his name. Please please please stay fit.

Sagna 7 - Like Clichy, nothing spectacular, but that in itself is already spectacular. Our favoured 4 in defence seem to get better by the game.

Fabregas 7 - For once, the focus was on someone else, but his role in the team is undeniable. His control, vision and distribution were spot on as usual.

Denilson 8 - Excellent. His cross for Ade's goal was inch-perfect. He seems to be gaining in confidence, and he should get a regular start from now on. Put in the tackles, did the running.

Eboue 7 - OK, nothing to complain about here. Put about a reasonably good performance, and did pretty well with the run and fall to earn us the penalty.

RVP 7.5 - Great opening goal. Put in another great show behind Ade. Though every time he gets a knock, I'm like...oh shit...

Ade 8 - He somehow makes these hat tricks look really pedestrian and simple. He could've had 5 or 6. He really needs to time his runs better, and once he does that...man, what he could do with the service from the likes of Cesc and Denilson.

Theo 8- Confidence does wonders, and as a result, showed a moment or two or selfishness. Good for the boy, but some of his shooting was still indicative of a 19 year old. Had a good time watching him go at the Blackburn defence.

Looking Ahead

So at last. A 3pm kick-off. And there's a whole lot of weird shit out there about Theo, and how DESPITE his heroics against Croatia, he may not even start in the game against B-burn. Before I get to that, a few words about his goals.

Yes, yes, England won, despite what I said. But I'm glad I was wrong - for the only reason that Theo made the difference. My word, those were some stunningly efficient finishes. Just pure class - and I suppose given his propensity to let a few get away in the first 3 games this season, it was only a matter of time before something clicked. It only happened during an international, and we can only hope that it similarly clicks in a few of his games with Arse. He'll get there, but I agree fully with what the boss has said:

"I don't know [if Walcott will be involved], I will have to rotate the squad in the next three games. You cannot expect the players who have played in their national teams can play three times in a week. We have a very compact squad and people are interchangeable.”

“People will expect him to score four goals on Saturday now...You never get better treatment [from opposition players] when you are known to be dangerous.”

Typical of the English press, they all find it really strange that after having scored three goals, Theo might be put on the bench. Of course he would, and should! There are three difficult away games coming up, and which stupid boss would risk throwing in his 19 year old wunderkid to start in all three? And anyway, it's Blackburn and fat Ince. We may just do enough with Eboue.

As for the game itself. Well, I suppose we no longer have Lehmann in goal, so there's one source of comfort if we're thinking of last season's game. But sadly, no Nasri. He would've been useful. Maybe we'll see Ramsey come on at some point. He really should. I'm dying to see him in a proper competitive game, and his fresher legs should come in useful. So if we're 1-0 up, and B-burn are chasing the game, let's see the boy come on.

Alrighty. Enough of this. There's also a whole lot of stupid things going on about transfer targets. But seeing how January is quite a few turns of the calendar away, I'm not even going to go near that.

Final Destination

So here's the scene. Ade and his mates are hanging around at an airport, waiting to board a plane, when suddenly waking from a catnap, Ade starts yelling that the plane's gonna crash. He just knows it. He saw it. He makes a scene, causes a delay, and the whole world curses the damn idiot for delaying their flight. As a compromise, he says that he'll only get on if the President of the Togo FA gets on as well. As is always the case with these horror flicks, the guy doesn't. So Ade never gets on. In his own words:

"My life is very dear to me and, if we have to go down, we'll all go down together with the president. There are rumours that, if we get on, the aircraft will go down."

What a freak man. Now nobody's gonna want to get onto a plane with him - to Turkey, Ukraine, Portugal, Newcastle, whatever. What the F. Can you imagine if it were poor Dennis, after having been urged to get on a plane...to have this shit happen?? But if it's some elaborate ploy to get out of a game, what a way to do it man. Gotta hand it to him.

In the meantime, looks like Roman Pavlyuchenko has gotten into the mix of things at Spurs. He says:

“At the Spurs camp they put it to me like this – score against Arsenal and you are a hero.”

What a loser. Just try scoring a goal against ANYONE in the first place. (Own goals not counted). If that's what it takes to be a hero at White Hart Lane, then they really have got lower standards than I ever thought. Pathetic.

Looking ahead to Blackburn, I must say I'm anticipating it with much less dread than I would have in the past. Somehow, Blackburn without Mark Hughes isn't really the same. Just like Bolton without Fat Sam. In fact, with another fat ass Paul Ince in charge, I'm feeling mightily confident of a good result. Has anyone seen the waist on the dude? It must be like 40" or something. What a disgrace.

In the meantime, can't wait to see England lose against Croatia. It's gonna be fun reading the papers on Thursday morning.

Signings that never were

Well, first off, let me saw that Arse tried to sign me at the end of the last transfer window. I swear to god, they did. Arsene in fact called me, at about 2300hrs GMT, and there I was talking to Milan on one cellphone, Barca on the other, and Manchester City on the land-line. It was like freaking a mess! Couldn't they have called me earlier?? So in any case, I was sitting in a real cool club with two chicks on my lap, and I couldn't really hear any of them, so I told them to F off. If they were really serious, they'd have called me earlier. There's just no more damn respect in this game anymore.

But let's see what they do come February. I'm sure I'll tell you again they tried to call me right at the close of business.

Right next to me was my friend Stephane M'bia. Now, I know nobody's really heard of him, but he's an alright dude. He cleans his own boots, and when he kicks his ball out of play, he's the sort to get it himself, and not wait for another one to get thrown back in. He's a decent chap. But right after Arsene called me, his phone rings, and I think Arsene tried to sign him as well. This is
what Stephane said:

"Everyone knows there are clubs that are after me, that is not new, Arsenal made contact in the last hours of the past market but the club did not want to let me go. Rennes is looking to improve my pay, I have already decided to stay here against my wish, however everyone knows I want to move to the Premier League to improve myself and play in the biggest league in the world."

This is serious shit, okay! I mean, even Sky Sports has reported it. Not some goal.com gossip.

But whatever, transfer window's closed. Who gives a flying F. We nearly signed Bozo the Clown, but I think City got to him first.

So enough blah blah. Much ado about England, Capello, and how Bilic thinks England are crap. Of course England are crap. Holy shit. Does it take a Slaven Bilic to tell anyone that. And I must add, it ain't anybody's fault, let alone Arsenal's French dudes.

Reflections on Madness

Well, first the main point must be the disappointment of Arse falling well short in all the transfer activity. It really sucks on many levels. There I was, on the Arse website, wondering if perhaps the news would come first there. But screw me, all that was new was Wenger spewing shit about Eboue. Was that supposed to make us feel better? That somehow, we didn't need another midfielder? Then, that was replaced by some words about how Carlos Vela is going to be just great. Yes, but what about fucking now? I think it's absolute shit that Wenger hasn't yet come out and said anything about why nothing happened, despite his earlier point about signing one more. It's all a bit odd, really, and the silence had me more optimistic in the initial stages after the close of business.

The sad fact, though, is that we're just left feeling as if we missed the bus. Some Arabs came, and will one fell swoop, changed the direction of news.

But the greatest concern must be what Cesc must be thinking. Who the heck's going to be his foil? Denilson? Eboue? Diaby? Song? Even in the most optimistic scenarios, where nobody gets injured, we're still far short of both League and Champions League contention based on this. Are we really going to make a run of it with Eboue as Mr Midfield Fix It? If come December, we're off the pace, and Le Boss doesn't go out and get some real reinforcements, then I won't bet against Cesc leaving in the off season. And THAT, my friends, would not be a nice thought. For all the arguments about Wenger's lack of ambition, I'm not sure he's made any arguments that say anything about his short-term ambitions.

At the other extreme end of Arse's lack of movement is of course, City. Now that is real madness. All said and done, with the Arabs' desire to make the club the new Chelski, by bringing in a new bunch of galaticos, the one person who must be shivering in his pants must be Mark Hughes. All due respect, he ain't gonna make it. Give him two draws and a loss against United, and he'll be out of it. How people can talk about bringing Ronaldo, Robinho, etc etc etc to City, and expect to standy by Hughes is beyond me. His days are numbered. I give him till November.

And finally, there's all that funny business about Kevin bloody Keegan. Is he sacked? Is he not? I suppose he was asked to resign, and he just hasn't done it yet. haha. So much for his stupidity, stupid behaviour, stupid decision to play Barton, and stupid face. Just go away. Who cares about Newcastly and their fat owner? They are sooooo out of it.

Oh Damn...

Transfer season is over. And there was nothing. Zip. Our last buy was Silvestre. Can't get over the excitement. I really cannot figure out what the boss has up his sleeves. Maybe he's thinking of Eboue as cover in the middle of the park, as our missing holding midfielder? Or maybe he's lined Rosicky's bones with adamantium? Damn. It's really really really frustrating when this was supposed to be a stronger team from last season, and all we've done is sold off more than we've brought in. If nothing was going to happen on the transfer market, the least we could have done was keep Gilberto. We even signed a goddamn injured unknown in Amaury Bischoff.

But who knows. Maybe when the sun rises tomorrow (in England), there'll be news of a middle-of-the night signing.

Elsewhere, we hear that City (yes, they've ditched the Thai name) have become an Arab team, and has join the ranks of those inhabiting the Emirates Stadium. Signed Robinho for £32.5m. Screw me. It's bloody hilarious all that's happening in the wrong part of Manchester. Can't wait for it to head the way of Leeds. And that El Pathetico Robinho must be really desperate. Mark Hughes must be wondering what the hell hit him. Let's see Citeh run into a string of bad results. Poor Sven must also be shell shocked. But who cares.

So Flamini made his debut at the San Siro, and it must have been fun being in the team that loses at home to a newly-promoted team the first day of the season. Hope he gets used to it, and to hanging around a bunch of geriatrics and has-beens. Maldini, Pirlo, Inzaghi, Seedorf, Shevchenko...granted, with the likes of Ronaldinho, there will be flashes of brilliance, but it's his life, so good luck to him. Wonder where Philippe was. Not on the bench, so maybe he was out house hunting. But since he's only going to be there a season, he'd better start house hunting somewhere near the south coast of England, or up the other end, near Boro. Let me say it again. I like the boy, but if he for a second thought that he was leaving for greener pastures, he is so bloody wrong. Poor guy.

Now let's see. Who else lost on opening day to a newly-promoted team?? Oh yes. Barca. Where some idiot Belarussian didn't even make the starting line-up. How sweet it is to see Samir Nasri scoring goals, and with his socks pulled up right. One more thing. Total attendance at Numancia: 10,000. Let's put it in perspective. Twice that many people watched Leeds in League One at Elland Road on the weekend. So if that's what gets Hleb excited, good for him too.

I'm gonna have something to say later, probably tomorrow, on that yellow card for Nasri. If there's retroactivitiy in the issuing yellow cards that the referee missed, shouldn't there be the same for penalties wrongly given, penalties missed, red cards missed? Goals missed? Stupid refereeing system had better change soon...