Aw just fuck it

It's been a few days, and I still haven't gotten over it. Feels like a really really bad fucking nightmare.

Right. What's worse than losing to Hull? Losing to Hull at home. What's worse than losing to Hull at home? Losing by giving away two goals after being one up. What's worse than that? Drawing with Spurs in a game we should have won at by at least three. What's worse than that? By giving away two goals in the last 3-4 minutes.

I could go on forever figuring out where and when everything went wrong, but I won't bother. I won't be worth the damn catharsis. Let's just say in that 3-4 minutes, we just saw all that was bad in the last year and a half come right up to the surface again. That it came in such a concentrated 3-4 minutes only makes it that much (infinitely) worse.

Fuck it. There are serious problems in the defence and in the team's defensive mentality. At 4-2, we had opportunities to put it away for good, but fucking lacked the bollocks.

I don't think I've ever so NOT looked forward to a game. But that's how I feel about the next game against Stoke. Who the fuck cares...since we have absolutely no idea which team is going to show up. Here's my starting 11 for Saturday:

Fabianski, Clichy, Silvestre, Djourou Sagna, Wilshere, Ramsey, Walcott, Diaby, RVP, Vela.

What's the worse that could happen? We lose to Stoke. We've done worse.

Review: West Ham 0 - Arsenal 2

Now that is the kind of victory we need more of, if we are going to be championship contenders. Not anywhere near our best, had to deal with our fair share of bad luck and super goalkeeping, but somehow managed to find something to pull us through dogged opposition. The 4-0 or 5-2 strolls will always be there, but increasingly, I don't think we're going to find much more of them in the Premier League. Player ratings first:

Almunia 7 - Good show. Made one crucial save, and was generally reliable at all other times.

Eboue 6.5 - Defensively, acceptable. Going upfront, was nowhere what Sagna offers us, and had his fair share of wasted passes, runs into road blocks, etc. On the Eboue scale, it could've been worse.

Mohawk Billy 7 - Apart from a few dodgy moments, was acceptable too. Funniest moment was when he fucked up on a back pass to Alumunia, but had the gall to give Manuel the cheesiest cheesed off look. haha. What an idiot.

Silvestre 7 - Slowly getting into it. Can see where the experience lies, but still has some rustiness. Once he gets over it, he should be excellent alternative for either MB or Kolo.

Clichy 7 - Not great by his own high standards, but did alright at the back.

Theo 6.5 - Not one of his best performances. Did have his moments - like hitting the bar early on - but looked like he needed a rest and more imagination.

Cesc 6.5 - Probably the main reason why we were particularly poor in the first half. Not enough imagination - but stepped it up in the second half.

Song: 7 – Always gives a pretty good show of himself when not in defence. No complaints.

Nasri 6 - A bad day at the office. Tired? Perhaps.

Bendtner 7 - Occasionally irritating, and took a while to settle in. After 30 minutes, though, seemed to be involved enough. Played his best with Ade and RVP both on. Super pass to set up Ade for the second.

Van Persie 7.5 - Had a couple of great chances, and thwarted either by an excellent Robert Green or the bar. Always looked a threat.

Diaby 7 - Becoming a really useful dude. You could tell the difference immediately after Nasri and Walcott (the two worst performers) came off. He's gonna prove to be a real irritating thron for defences here on in.

Ade 8 - OK, I admit it, he did make a difference. Involved in the first own goal, and scored the second. The Ade-RVP-Bendtner threesome does look quite useful when needed. Especially with RVP on the right with the freedom to cut back in a cause problems with his left foot.

As with many recent performances, the first half was crappy-ish, and the second was more like it. I suppose it has always been that we're best when after tiring out the opposition for 70 minutes, we hit them during the last 20. But that's no excuse for sloppy stuff in the first half.

All in all, great stuff, and I'm looking forward to Wednesday and Spurs, who now have 'arry in charge. I'm trying to figure it out. Who're the idiots here? Spurs or 'arry Redknapp? He says he'll quit if Spurs are relegated. By then, who'd giving a flying F, and he'd be sacked any time it comes close to that anyway. Spaz. As I said earlier, quite glad they won against Bolton. Give them something to hope for. They had to win sometime, and now that they've done it, they can get back to losing a few more again.

Finally, finally, finally - AT LONG BLOODY LAST, we can stop hearing about Chelski's friggin' home record. Thank bloody god. It just goes to show that we could've done it ourselves last season, but at last someone has done it. It's also bloody poetic that Chelski go out and lose their next game after idiot Scolari goes out and says something about Chelski emulating our Unbeatable season. Yeah, right. If the season lasts 8 games, you stupid moron. I think Benitez knows better than to say anything really daft now.

While much will be decided by the games between the Big Four (and Pool of course look really good after beating both Man U and Chelski), methinks it's in fact going to be the games against the likes of City, Villa, Fulham, Everton, etc. Pool have not had an easy run so far, but have done manificently. Hats off. But we all know Pool. There's a long long way to go.

Things that make you hmmm...

First thing is an interview with Mr Adebayor. Several "interesting" things therein. I shall quote a few interesting things:

“I’m a person who’s always laughing, no matter what happens. Even when sometimes people call me and tell me that someone has passed away, I’ll still be laughing." [NOTE: Translation error. Otherwise, freako...]

“Money is killing the spirit of the game. I don’t want to mention a name here, but good players are made to be in a great team. And most of the players are not in a bad team, but they are not in their right place or position. Money is killing football because some people are making the decision because of money." [NOTE: Errr. Yes. SOME people are making their decisions based on money. Like SOME people, like...not me]

Second thing is Hull are joint top of the table today. A day before the top two play each other. I expect a draw, and that means Hull will rest just one point from them, and nothing we can do ourselves will change the situation. At best, a win will bring us within one of Hull, and two from Pool and Chelski.

But there're a few things we need to take a look at, just to put things into perspective. First, Hull will have to play both Chelski and Man U in the next 7 days. Let's see what the deal is then. We could be surprised, we may not. Whatever happens, it will be interesting. Second, Hull's results so far have been with the lesser lights - and I count Arse's performance as one of a lesser team. They did lost 5-0 at home to Wigan, so that's also an indication of what the team is capable, once they stop running on teen spirit.

All in all, I expect a good season from them, but not at this pace. Methinks a 6th-10th place finish in the end, which would still be massive.

As for Saturday's action, heh heh. Everton 1 - Man U 1 was sweet as hell. I was kinda worried with that Fallaini dude during Arse's game last weekend, and it was not surprising he scored too. I mean, apart from being quite a decent player, that HAIR must scare the shit out of any player.

Finally, and I've spoken about this before: Bergkamp for Arsenal! The Iceman has spoken again on possibly coming back to Arse, and really, I can't think of anyone better to take over from Le Boss in time to come. It would be nice to see him deputise for a little while in the near future - I mean, to see Wenger/Bergkamp on the bench...that would bring a smile to any Arse fan. The interview's right here.

So on to West Ham. And before that, any result over at Stamford Bridge would be good, but a draw the best.

Fenerbah....CHE!

Well, I can't claim to have watched more than the highlights so I can't really do justice to a proper review. Yes, the Arsewiper had his arse licked by a cold, so I thought some sleep would have been a better proposition.

Five goals against a Fenerbahce side which had not lost at home in Europe (I always find this phrase kinda odd) since like, the Ottoman Empire fell. Ade scored. Incredible. His finish even looked somewhat confident. Which is even more incredible. What more, five goals from five different players. Yummy. I must say if Diaby keeps this up, he's going to be really someone crucial to the team. He was pretty impressive up till his unfortunate injury, so let's keep fingers crossed that he does not get struck down by Rosicky-itis or a milder form or chronic RVP syndrome.

Despite all the nice warm feelings, there is of course the slight issue of our defence. Not too convincing of course. But on the positive side, let's just say that yes, it would have been far better to have won 5-0, but if ever we're going to concede two away from home, then scoring five ain't that bad a proposition. Le Boss says that Mohawk Billy and Kolo will be back for Sunday's game at West Ham. I think we should stick to Silvestre. He was okay against Everton, and showed that he needs some match time in Istanbul. So let's give it to him. But methinks Le Boss will go back to Mohawk. Idiot. Whatever the case though, Mr Song ain't a central defender.

I saw a few funny things watching the highlights of all the Champions League games. First, there was Alex Manninger in goal for Juve. Not bad, I say. I always rated him somewhat. Yes, he had his awkward moments. But he had his good ones too. Whatever the case, I was happy to see him in goal for a big team in Europe. Same thing for Bobby Pires. He actually played! And scored! And with his head! Wow. Yes, we've missed someone like him. But at least we've got Nasri now. Who definitely has a stronger shot, and doesn't run like he's got his jock strap on a bit too tight. Could never figure Bobby out there. He was god awful slow, ran like a duck, had a weak shot, but still did the deeds. Good man. Finally, saw that #@$%! Belarussian playing for Barca too. Yes, he's still up to his usual run like a mad dog into the penalty box, then...passing. haha. Looks like the Barca socks have been given the same treatment as the Arse socks. Pull them up, dude!

Oh yeah. Another thing. The Champions League Post-Game show. Who did we have on? Richard Keys, Trevor Francis, Andy Gray, and....Gus Poyet?????? WTF. Is that a loser club or what. Doesn't his team have a UEFA Cup game in Italy on Thursday (which of course they lost), doesn't he have something else to work on rather than commenting on how he feels about losing Berbatov while watching the top teams play? I mean, if I were a Spurs fan (which is as likely as...nevermind), I'd just slit my wrists.

So on to Sunday we go. First though, there's the issue of Spurs v Bolton at 3pm. Now, I really really want Spurs to get at least one point there. You know, they could do with some confidence, some semblance of "hey! We've turned the corner! Let's go out and kick some Arse arse!" It's exactly that attitude we need, so we can then REALLY get them at a 7-0 or something. If they lose at home to Bolton (which is quite likely actually) then we can expect a rather rather nothing game on Wednesday night. That's my prediction anyway.

For West Ham - let's have a bit of rotation, why not? Bendtner and Vela to start. Plus Diaby. Plus Silvestre.

Review: Arsenal 3 - Everton 1

That's was really quite odd. I wouldn't really say it was a game of two halves. More like a games of three teams: two from Arsenal, one involving Theo, the other involving a bunch of ill-spirited laggards. First, the highlights.

Link:

Now, the player ratings:

Almunia 6.5 - Not one of his best. Particularly when he a momentary lapse over a corner and had Clichy to thank for a goal-line clearance. What the hell was he thinking there. If it had been 2-0, it'd have been a totally different proposition. Redeemed himself with a good save from Yakubu early in the second half.

Song 6.5 - Unfortunately, was a bitto blame for the Everton goal. Definitely not comfortable where he started - on the right. Was bettter in the second half, when he was in the middle and was allowed the space to come foward.

Silvestre 7 - As good a debut as we could've hoped for. Loathe to say this, but his quiet, dependable presence was a little bit of what we have been lacking. Funny that it was he would sorta was there for Nasri's equaliser.

Touré 6.5 - Not one of his best. Telling that we seemed to have a little better balance with Silvestre-Song in the second half.

Clichy 8 - Have given him extra credit for being the only one who seemed to care in the first half. As always, provided the spark on the left side when our right was Theo-less in the first half. Excellent judgement in making his goal-line clearance. He does that quite a bit, methinks.

Eboué 6 - He was, well Eboué-esque. Some nice runs, but always wasted. Nuff said.

Cesc 6.5 - By his standards, a poor game. Was never as instrumental as we have expected him to be. Looked tired, particularly in the first half. Shooting wasn't great too.

Denilson 6.5 - Both Denilson and Cesc's poor performances in the first half sorta encapsulated the entire team's. Misplaced passes, lack of effective distribution, etc etc.

Nasri 7 - The team in a nutshell. Hopeless in the first half, but took only 2 minutes of the second to set it right. Much of our good play in the second half involved Nasri too.

RVP 7.5 - Man, if he had his shooting boots on, it could've been quite different. He does have this problem of leaning back and ballooning his shots, doesn't he? But he did put in a workmanlike performance, and seemed committed enough. Had a 100% legitimate penalty shout waved away. Pathetic refereeing again. But I've said enough of that already.

Ade 6- Needs some time on the bench. Totally out of sorts. He really hasn't done much this season, apart from that freak hat trick. What caught my eye was his reaction to Theo's goal. He looked as interested as the Everton defence. WTF was that about?

Theo 8 - Deserves all the credit despite playing only one half. Arse are now a different team without him. Particularly without Sagna on the right as well, we were totally pathetic in the first half.

All in all, good not necessarily from the footballing point of view, given that we are still capable of putting in really really bad performances - but more from the fact that we are at least able to turn these shit performances around. Le Boss has obviously made some nice noises, and constrasted the "nervousness" of the first half versus the much better second half performances. We're gonna have quite a few injuries going to Fenerbahce, so that's a little worrying.

Not too concerned about losing Mohawk Billy. More worried about Sagna, and hope that we get Nasri back. Maybe it's time we give Ade a rest. WTF. Since his pay rise, he really hasn't been worth much of it. Let Bendtner have a run out man.

Is this it at last?

Well then, yes, I've been comatose for the last two weeks. Nothing has happened. The world passed us by, and 14 days later, here we are. Thank god. Can't imagine the only news in the interim being England winning, Rooney scoring, RVP straining a muscle, and Cesc breaking his nose.

Le boss thinks that this is the Everton game tonight is a“new start”. In fact...“it is the real start of the season because there is now no interruptions anymore. It looks like to me there is a new championship starting.” In other words: OK. Let's start this all over again. There really is no more room for any more shit performances. We've lost two, and we can't afford any more. Not against Man U, Chelski, Pool, and anybody-bloody-else. Er, yeah, I think so too man. Nothing more self-evident methinks.

On the injury front, looks like RVP has recovered from cutting his fingernails too close to the quick. Looked like he may have been out for 2 weeks to recover from slight bleeding under the fingernail, but he may be ready now. Wonder if Le Boss will start him though. You never call tell with these fingernail injuries. But oh yeah. Forgot. Bendtner got injured on the Eastern Front. So RVP will probably start, and once his fingernail starts hurting again, we might just see Vela. Ooops. But did Vela travel 48 time zones away for a meaningless match? Ah shite. These idiots should take a page from Ade's book man. Screw their national football federations.

I mean, Le Boss did say that (of Theo) "everybody needs nursing a little. Robin van Persie is a little bit the same type." What nursing? Of the tit kind? Hell, we all need that. But c'mon, a professional football player should be able to run out there for 90 minutes without having to be nursed. Even then, isn't it every 2-3 hours at the max?

So we'll rest Theo too. Hmm.

On the more positive side of things, looks like Diaby has emerged from intensive care. It was pretty worrying for a while. It was real touch-and-go stuff. But methinks with his immunity still low, Le Boss may just take the option of putting him on the bench for some needed fresh air. So in the middle of the field, we have Cesc (with broken nose), Denilson (who probably played a bit too much on his Playstation during the break), Diaby (with the weak immune system), and Song (our rock of stability now).

There's stuff too about Mohawk Billy (phew - great chance to give the dude a rest) and sadly, Sagna. But we've got a super replacement in Eboue. haha.

Starting 11 then? Almunia (wake up!! International break's over!!), Clichy, Silvestre (woo hoo!), Toure, Eboue, Cesc, Denilson, Song, Nasri, Ade, RVP. On the bench: Wilshere, Ramsey, Wenger, Pat Rice.

Finally, some humour for the day. As if they weren't losers enough, it now seems the idiots over at White Hart Lane are shite simply because they've been playing on empty stomachs. Saideth one of their own: “We’re feeling hungry going into games and that can’t be good. We get lots to eat after matches but we want something before as well.” Awwwwww...pooor things. Please, One Day, please please give us summin 'a eat. A Mars bar please?

Bloody losers. Just get relegated and f off. Didn't know a good thing in Martin Jol, innit?

So where exactly do we go from here

Alrighty then. International break and two weeks of introspection ahead of us. About as good a time as ever to really think about what the hell we have to be happy with seven games down the road.

First, we're 4th, and 4 points behind Chelski and Pool. Sounds alright, but honestly, we were ahead just two games ago, and have yet to play any of the top four, while both Chelski and Pool have already played Man U. By all accounts, we've had a really easy first seven games, and should have done much better.

Second, we've got no major injury problems to complain about - but that just makes it worse in that we've got no excuses on that front. Against Hull and Sunderland, we had just about our best 11. (Come to think of it, we didn't have Eboue. Maybe we just lacked our cutting edge there. haha!)

It really feels sucky so far, but let's have a nice balanced think through about this. Just two games ago, after the young 'uns had whipped Sheffield United, it was all celebratory and shit. In all reality, two games don't make or break a season. It does reveal certain problems, and on the positive side, it's better these things get revealed now, and get worked on early.

After seven games then, I'd give us 6/10. There have been nice moments, but too many scary ones mixed in. Much to work on. On the other hand, I'd give Pool 9/10 and Chelski maybe 8/10. Considering that we're 4 points behind, that's not too bad. Pool will slip up, and we can only hope that Chelski don't keeping romping on.

What the boss needs to do is really look at how he can rotate the squad a little bit more, and look again at the heart of his defence and captaincy. If the guys lacked "sharpness" as he claimed, then c'mon, do something about it. I cannot help but wonder what Ramsey, Wilshere, Vela and Bendtner could have done against Sunderland. Could hardly have been worse than what the seniors did.

And the goals we've conceded. Holy Shit. Three from corners is unacceptable, especially since we usually lead in the corner count by something like 12-3. We're just not defending them well, and that's usually just a problem with being static. For that, I put down to Kolo not having a great start, and Mohawk Billy once more not being the force that the manager thinks he is. The Sunderland game was probably a great time to blood the young ones, and stick Silvestre into the fray. Now, it'll probably be a bit too late. Not sure Le Boss will experiment with change after the break.

Looking ahead, I think much will be clearer come 3pm GMT on 8 November 2008. We'd have just played Man U, and Chelsea-Pool would have taken place a few weeks before. We'd also have played Fenerbahce home and away, and our Champions League credentials should be clear either way by then.

Finally, Le Boss needs to shut it about teams being "defensive". Let's face it, whatever you call it, they've been successful. I mean, how can he complain about Sunderland defending when they actually scored? We've had this happen to us time and time again, so it can't be new to us. We need a Plan B, just like all other teams have both Plans A and B. But methinks Le Boss ain't going the way of Plan B. We can only hope that he at least makes minor changes - starting first with looking at the defence, and reconsidering Kolo-Gallas.

Review: Sunderland 1 - Arsenal 1

Well, this ain't really a proper review, since for reasons only known to the idiot broadcasters from where I come from, the game wasn't telecast. You all out there figure it out. Three channels. We pay good money, and of the three channels, two were used last night: for Wigan-Boro and West Brom-Fulham. Wonder what it is. Do these idiots have a quota? Does it cost more to telecast an Arse game? Are there more Wigan, Boro, West Brom and Fulham fans out there in this part of the world? Screw me, they are idiots. I have half a mind of cancel my subscription. The day we have a 3.00pm kick-off, they decide not to carry it.

To the game though. Suppose I can't be unhappy with the score. Not as sharp as usual, to make the chances count. The boss really shouldn't have started with RVP and Ade. Give the guys a break, and give Bendtner and Vela a chance to start, rather than come on when we're shit in trouble. There are the usual negatives to take from the game, but know what - there're a few positives. haha. Yes, there are:

(1) Points wise, it ain't too bad.
(2) Losing three at this stage would have been the end of our season. As it stands, it still ain't that bad.
(3) There must've been at least a decent level of spirit for us to equalise at that stage of the game.
(4) And it was Cesc who scored! With a header! From a corner!

And oh yes, we did have a perfectly legitimate goal disallowed. I shall belabour the point. Referee makes mistake. A red card is rescinded 48 hours after the fact. Linesman makes mistake. It would take 10 seconds to review it, but would they? As Le Boss has said:

''It's just another appeal for video. If a manager had two appeals per game on video, with this one, I would have used it, of course.''

Hey, they do it in tennis now. So let's move forward just a tad, why don't we? For those who argue that "technology" would disrupt the flow of the game, I say don't be daft. There are a million other things that do worse.

So there we have it. A total of 7 points dropped that we shouldn't have. And we haven't even played any of the better teams. Not just talking Man U, Chelski and Pool, but also Villa, Citeh and Pompey. Don't know why we keep doing this. But it's done. Time to move on.

Joe Kinnear I am

What? You want a @#!king review? What is this? Some kind of @#!king blog? Goddamn, all these shit teams like Sunderland can go suck my @#!

I don't see any new @#!king injuries, so that's @#!king good news. I mean, why does Le Boss even bother mentioning @#!king Abou Diaby and @#!king Tomas Rosicky anymore, I don't know. It's about time we write them off. In the meantime, as for the @#!king game itself, to be honest, I don't know what to expect - which is kinda @#!king scary. But whatever, so long as the game's not a @#!king 5.30pm kick-off, I'm happy enough. Wouldn't mind seeing D'Gerbil Cisse tripping over his laces and spraining his ankle.

Let's go have a good game. Another @#!king crap game, and I'm gonna get bulimic - with all chronic nausea and all. Particularly since we're gonna have another @#!king irrelevant international break after this, we're gonna need some nice positive feelings to get us through the fortnight.

Some of the news surrounding Sunderland and @#!king Roy Keane is quite funny though. He's talking all about past rivalries and the possibility of signing Paddy Vieira. Well, good luck to that. Heh heh. It'd be nice to see a captain give his manager a knee in the bollocks after taking him off.

Elsewhere, @#!king Robinho is talking out of his @#!king arse - claiming that if Citeh beat Pool tomorrow, then they would be well placed to "win the title". Oh come on. Just #@!$ off, why don't you. Little #@!$. My money's on a comfortable Pool win. I'd be chuffed to see Citeh take anything from Anfield, but let's be honest, the @#!king odds are not good for what is still Manchester City. Let's not get carried away, a-holes. Prediction: Liverpool 3 - Citeh 0.

Not Quite a Review

So we beat Porto 4-0. Yes, I was worried prior to kick-off, but I sure won't start gushing as well. The boys of course done well, but after that performance against Hull, I think we'd better not start taking things for granted. Let's wait a bit and see where this goes. It does not really help to have wins like 4-0 (Blackburn), 3-1 (Bolton), 6-0 (Sheffield United), 4-0 (Porto) punctuated by a 2-1 loss at home against Hull. Gotta do better, methinks.

We went by the whole of a disappointing last season losing three in the league, and two were against Man U and Chelski. We hadn't even got to October, and have already lost two to Fulham and Hull. Unless we go on some kind of super run to May, and whip the likes of Man U, Chelski and Pool, we've got some serious worrying to do.

Fenerbahce are looking horrid, so let's hope that our next game over there is an easy one. In the meantime, let's go get another good result at Sunderland and after that Everton.

There's been some talk about Kolo's comments following the Hull game, where he spoke about being "scared" of Hull. Yes, that looked kinda odd, but I know where he was coming from. All said and done though, he is probably the most experience head out there apart from Mohawk Billy - so if there was any doubt, he should be the one banishing it from the thoughts of his team mates.

We've lost one at home and one away. That's it then. The message is clear as day: keep it sharp, keep it professional, and stop f-ing around - particularly at home.

For those who need some therapy, try the full highlights below.

Arsenal vs Porto 4-0 Highlights 30.09.08 Uefa Champions League