Review: Arsenal v Chelsea

I don't even know what the final score is/was.

Stopped after the 3rd. I feared this would happen after Liege, and lo and behold. It happened.

Let's keep this simple: outclassed. Boys and against men, and the boys got spanked. Chelsea - 3 attempts, 3 goals. Arse: all the prettiest passing, but simply no way good enough to put them away. And that, quite simply, was a lack of class.

Drogba had three attempts, and all three resulted in goals. Eduardo put in a performance fit for amateur football.

Even if the statistics prove otherwise, I think we know, and I think the team knows that our season's over, and Chelski will be worthy champions on this.

As the commentator said at one point, substance prevailed over style. And to be honest, except for the pretty passing, there was little of the latter anyway.

Good night. And that goes to our chances as well.

At Bloody Long Last

I was rewatching the Wolves-Arsenal game the other night, and damn, it seemed liked light years ago. Just think. What has happened since then?

First, RVP first was ruled out for the rest of the season, then maybe less, then, thankfully, 4-6 weeks, and now he's getting placenta massaged into his ankle.

Second, Kieran Gibbs had a broken metatarsal, then maybe not, and now, he could even be back for the Chelski game.

Third, we very nearly came close to Irish armageddon, as Damien Duff cried, Keane went ballistic, the Irish FA lost it, and Thierry Henry gets crucified. All in all, not unusual madness from the British media, footballing observers and the lot. For what I think is probably the best read, just head on to the Arseblogger.

That stupid handball fiasco basically tells you what happens when you deprive grown men of proper football for too long. They go mad. They kill their wives, burn their their homes, then they start lynching "cheats". For pete's sake...

Thank god then for football tomorrow. (But before that, let me just make a point about how absolutely unbelievably unconscionably crap France are. I mean, for a team of so much individual talent, to be able to mould them into a team of absolute nothingness, must involve some mighty talent. And for that, there can be no other than Raymond Domenech. What the French are still doing with him, nobody knows. Or maybe someone does).

So tomorrow then. First, Theo's back. Denilson too. We might see Eduardo start, while the Arsh gets a few minutes off to cry a few more tears into his pillow. Russia. Losing out to Slovenia. Ah. The wonders of World Cup qualifying. Wonder if the Russians are going to start ranting about seeding. I mean, what the shit is about this seeding nonsense anyway, say the Irish.

It's going to be a nice little OD of footie tomorrow to get over the long long long international break. Pool - Citeh in the early kick-off, then we play, Chelski too, and the Man U. I can already feel my arse merging into the sofa as I type.

Let's get this little task of Sunderland out of the way then. With Kenwyne Jones out, and Craig Gordon too, I hope things are really that little bit easier.

Ciao. Till then.

The Dangers of Cattle Class (or so it seems)

Well, isn't it just the funniest thing. You see, pool 'ole Frank Lampard and the rest of the England team - forced to endure a long flight from Londong to Qatar, on a charter, designed for short-hauls, without flat beds, and were of course, shocked to find seats that barely reclined.

Then, pool 'ole Lamps get off the plane, and during their first training session, does something to his rather strained and tested thigh muscle. Oh dear. Oh me. Oh my. Read all about it.

Shit, you gotta feel sorry for these dudes. Usually, this would only have marginal entertainment value to me, but the fact that this has led to his missing the Arse match only makes me smile. I suppose if Chelski lose, they'd really friggin' sue to FA for what they did to the dude.

Why not this then: Romano Bloodybitch now just flies all his star players in the lap of luxury (preferably in the lap of a blonde Russian beaut) to and from all internationals. I mean, c'mon. Why not. In any case, with the wages they have, why did they have to depend on the FA? Couldn't Lamps have at least used his miles and asked for an upgrade?

Oh well. Entertainment value has expired.

Sheeet. There's really nothing happening. Nothing. Zip. It's a Saturday tomorrow, and nothing.

So it has to be then: Ireland v France at 2000 hrs GMT, and Portugal v Bosnia-Herzegovina half an hour later. Put some money on it: draw for both ties!

Ngog

I suppose that's the sound one makes when caught between a cough, a hiccup and a sneeze.

Not only is an Ngog rather painful, a certain Lee Carsley claims an Ngog could be rather embarassing as well. How could one look one's family in the eye, when an Ngog cheats, dives and wins a conned penalty? I'm not going to say anything further about diving, cheating, etc etc. Let's just see how far this goes. My bet is it'll die soon enough, as quick as one can do an Ngog.

Score-wise, looks like my prediction was slightly off, but at least I got the general drift right - that Pool would suck. That said, it was still adequate entertainment for a Monday night. To see Pool dominate play but go in at half time 2-1 down, and despite all their efforts on goal, to depend on an Ngog moment in the second half. I suspect when ref Peter Walton watched the replays with his post-match cup of tea in hand, he had a rather painful Ngog as well.

It's getting to be really sad times to be a Pool fan. Now it's injuries to Benayoun and Rieira. Very soon, they're gonna have to make Voronin captain. But worry not, Benitez will surely get into the transfer market in January for yet another astute buy.

Arse-wise, the news is that Bent Nick will have to be out for at least a month as he goes for surgery on his groin. That's not too bad. Give the boy his month, some rest, and he should be back and raring to go in time for the ties I talked about yesterday.

Finally, I had to have a word on this. Since the Wolves game, there's been a stream of rather silly journalistic talk going on about our scoring record, breaking records, etc etc etc. All rather ignorable bollocks with the unstated and inadvertent aim of distracting the boys in front of goal. All fine and dandy.

But to see it on our very own website is a bit of a disgrace. Have we nothing else to talk about? Gee whiz. What utterly stupid and irrelevant stats. Just as useless, but potentially more distracting than stats on the average volume and direction of spit and snot Andrei Arshavin expunges in the course of 90 minutes.

Pfft.

A Monday Letdown

Yeah, what a letdown. Damn Man U. Couldn't even do the decent thing and grind out a draw. That'd have been perfect, and given us the best opportunity to get on top. But never mind. We're still second, with a game in hand - over both Chelski and Man U who are nicely behind us now. That whole 5 point gap thing is illusory. There's still too much to play, including what would really be a 6-pointer when we play Chelski on 29 November. That's one big shit game.

Talking about big shit games, consider this run in the coldest darkest months of next year:

Saturday, 20 January - Man U at home
Saturday, 6 February - Chelksi away
Tuesday, 9 February - Pool at home

The only good thing about this is that we've got two away games, and it won't be much travelling from Chelski back home for Pool. AND...we'd have a relatively easier run in a result. Right now, I think I'd take 5 points. Nine would be nicer of course.

Y'know, Man U clearly are a weaker side without Ronaldo, and I'd hesitate to say, without Tevez (who has so far been a total dweeb in light blue + hair band + no goals). Makes it even more painful to ponder how we let three points get away at Old Trafford...

I suppose there was much for Chelski to be happy about then. But methinks Terry was probably a bit too excited for his own good...













Which brought to mind an earlier pic too:

Looks like the common denominator here's a certain Frank Lampard. Ewwww. Sorry.

















Elsewhere farther afield, there was a complete madhouse over at Stade Gerland, where Lyon and Marseille managed a mind-blowing 5-5 draw. Shit. Looking at the celebrations, I don't think I'd have taken something like that happening to Arse. Check out the highlights for yourselves:



All I can say is, I was a doofus for missing it. Yes, I'd already OD-ed on footie over the weekend, which even included dozing over Athletico Madrid - Real, and watching poor 'ole Reyes ply his trade in oblivion. Yes, I needed my sleep, yes Chelski 1 - Man U 0 put me out of the mood, but man, to have watched it live...

I can't imagine two more weeks of nothing but World Cup play-offs. I suppose at the very least France - Ireland and Portugal - Bosnia should provide some semblance of entertainment. If only to see Ronaldo crawl onto the pitch on all fours to help out the motherland, and for Ireland to make the whole argument about Paddy Vieira going to South Africa moot. Fingers crossed ours see through these and other stupid friendlies without further injuries.

Wonder what else I'm going to talk about in days ahead.

Oh yes, wait a minute. There's actually Monday night football today! Hooray!

My prediction: Liverpool 0 - Birmingham 1.

Review: Wolves 1 - Arsenal 4

Somehow, there was a little bit of an unsatisfactory feel to the game. Yes, we won 4-1, but I'll put it down to two things: first, for the first 20 minutes or so, we were basically over-run by Wolves. They started well, closed us down extremely well, and didn't give the team any time on the ball and shut down the passing. In all honesty, they probably deserved a goal by then - given how many free kicks we gave away, and just for the effort they put in.

Then it turned...

Before we get there though, the second unsatisfactory bit was of course the goal we conceded. It's almost as if a clean sheet would somehow hurt. Unlike Alkmaar, I'd give Wolves their goal.

Anyhows, at the kick-off, the one surprise was Song getting rested, Ramsey starting, and Diaby taking Song's position in front of the defenders. The turning point then, when we started looking more comfortable, was probably not when we got the first goal, but I'd say when Diaby had to limp off. Honestly, with Song back in his place, and Ramsey given more license, we did seem back to normal in the midfield. Diaby just isn't cutting it, and once more, his injuries have come back to haunt him. Maybe this is a little opportunity for Aaron to get a run in.

The goal then: another odd corner contribution from Ed. Much like the one he scored against Liege, except this time, a Wolves knee got ahead of his. From then on, we looked comfortable, as Wolves came forward from the midfield in more adventurous droves, and opening up more space for us on the break. And so it happened. A break, a rather unhelpful ball from Ramsey to Ed, who was forced to break his run, had a difficult angle, chose a chip, and got slightly lucky that it wasn't deflected away from goal.

The third was a more typical thing of wonder. Sagna from the edge of our box, Sagna to RVP, RVP with the most wonderful controlled one-touch tap to Cesc, and Cesc with the coolest of finishes. After two own-goals, we deserved this one.

We got out fourth - surprise! - from yet another corner as the Arsh slots home from a little flap from the Wolves goalie.

A good day's work. Great to see Nasri and then Rosicky come back on, and we should've added a few more. Alas, we did, in contributing to Wolves' goal - going to sleep at the corner. I really really hate these soft goals. Le Boss seems easy enough about it: “We have a style where everyone goes forward. You cannot have everything in football, but I believe we have a good balance between offense and defence, and as long as we score as many goals as we do, we can accept that.”

But I beg to differ.

Player ratings:

Almunia 7 - Had little to do again. And where necessary, did the necessary.

Sagna 8.5 - A good good game. Useful on the runs, and once more contributed with his assists. Excellent stuff. Probably got a tad worried about Eboue.

TV 8 - Did the deed, though his defending on the goal was bit suspect.

Billy 8 - I'm beginning to find differentiating his performances from TV's a bit difficult, so much of a partnership they're becoming.

Gibbs 7.5 - Good reliable performance. Not as adventurous going forward, but defensively sound. The boy's doing good.

(Won't review Diaby).

Song 8 - Thank god for his return after Diaby's injury. He's the spine in defence, no doubt.

Ramsey 7 - Excellent work rate, but will need a few more starts to really get in the flow of the passes and movement.

Cesc 7.5 - Great finish, but not at his best.

Arsh 7 - Ditto.

Ed 7 - Still not back to his best. But I can see signs of positive movement. Somehow finds himself in good positions are corners, and he seems to get the occasional rub of the green in front of goal.

RVP 8 - Perfect set-up for Cesc's goal, and really really wanted one of his own. Deserved one.

All in all, Cesc recognises that we weren't exactly at our best. Says so right here. And I think he's spot on. The performance wasn't great, but at least it showed that even with one or two nice moves, we've got the necessary goals in the team. I'll take the away win and run.

Extended match higlights right here:



Now it's extended break for the internationals. Blurggh. Just what am I going to do for the next two weeks?

Elsewhere, there was a rather amusing and thoroughly satisfying game at Eastlands. Burnley slapping Citeh to go 2-0 up, somehow falling back to 3-2, but hold on to grab a draw at the death. What larks! Nice to see Ade back to his "usual", and Citeh's ultra-expensive back four put in a crap performance. Wayne Bridge, Lescott (what a great hand ball!), even Kolo. Nice.

Now let's see what happens this afternoon at the Bridge. Can't wait.

Review: Arsenal 4 - AZ Alkmaar 1

That. Was. Some. Good. Shit.

Seriously. I would've said really really good shit, but we did have to let in the requisite soft goal, so...

But what a performance. Let's just look at the goals. The first from Cesc was kinda odd. We'd played well enough for the first 20 or so minutes, pretty moves, passing, the works. But nothing too much to show for it. Until Cesc gets to walk across the AZ box, put a weak-ish shot in, then see it nestle at the back of the AZ net. Heh. Even I was surprised. So we're one-nil up with a rather soft goal thanks in part to sloppy goalkeeping from Argentina's number one.

Then, the second, from Nasri. And what a pretty one that was. Cheeky through ball straight through the middle from the Arsh, a cool head from Nasri, and brilliant finish. I was really really happy to see him back and scoring. Looked like he'd never left.

The third, was even better. Again, the Arsh was involved in putting Cesc through and the finish was sublime. I was sitting on the couch, angling even my own backside for a finish into the top right, and I think Sergio Romero must've been fooled by me too, coz Cesc simply blasted it into the opposite end. Yum!

And just when you thought it couldn't get any prettier - the fourth. Super backheel from the centre circle from Ed, Arsh again (!!) to Diaby, who had a simple but (surprisingly) confident finish not unlike Cesc's 20 minutes earlier.

So it's four. The big boys had already been rested, and the defenders were screaming for a goal themselves. Alas then, just as they were flooding the AZ penalty box for a corner, we get caught on the break. Yes, we were. I suppose I should be glad that our defenders were flooding the box at 4-0 up than at 1-0 or 2-1, so a soft goal on the break shouldn't be too surprising. But I must say, Almunia's retard reflexes were somewhat off-putting. Not sure how he did not react enough even to put his arse on the ground. He just...squatted. Anyways...

It was otherwise a great great team performance. Everyone put in their bit, and even Arsh at 70% was still awesome in his assists. Diaby was his usual 60%, and his usual irritating self, but since he got himself that goal, I shan't be too harsh.

Highlights right here:



Player ratings:

Almunia 6.5 - Sorry dude. You didn't have much to do, made one good save, and the next time called upon, you were made to look mighty stupid. Concentrate!! Who knows, Le Boss may just think it's Mannone time for Wolves. But I suspect not. Not yet at least.

Gibbs 9 - What a performance. Great tackles, running down the left, and a far far better crosser of the ball than Gael. The boy's going to be real monster, on this form! Only thing he will need to learn - is that in defending the goal we let in, the next time, he'll know to just take down the dude and take the yellow card for the team. A little naive there.

TV: 8 - Good solid performance as well, kept the little that AZ threw at us quiet. Had enough time and energy to make a few interesting runs into the AZ box.

Billy 8 - As did Billy.

Eboue 8 - My man Eboue. Very adequate cover for Sagna who had a good rest. Adequate in defence, and a far greater attacking force across the pitch than Sagna. Had a few good runs both down the right and into the middle.

Song 8 - Excellent game again. Kept the defensive ship tight while Billy and TV went walkabouts. (Not sure about the goal we let in though). Anyway, no complaints. No doubt the regular rock of the team now.

Diaby 6.5 - Bluuurgh. Really, if Le Boss can't see that he's the usual sore thumb sticking out of great collective performances, he must be deluding himself. Give Wilshere 6 extra inches, and he'd do the work of 5 Diabies (is that right in plural?).

Cesc 8.5 - Would've given him a 9 if he didn't have his deserved rest after an hour. What a man. Not only does he still do his business, he's got the Midas Touch too as far as the goals go.

Nasri 8 - Super return to the starting 11. His finish was sublime. We've missed him, and thank god he's back.

Arsh 8 - Even when he seems out of sorts, he manages to do one or two things that changes games in an instant. (Three in this case). I suppose he's indispensable not because of his workrate, but because he can always be counted on to at least do one or two special things a game.

RVP 8 - Koeman's called him Holland's best player. On current form, and given what else Holland has to offer now, why not. Kinda glad we gave him a rest after half an hour or so. He'll need it. May he now rip Wolves apart.

We had all three of our subs on: Rosicky (who nearly made a goal-creating chance with his first touch), Ed and Ramsey. Fingers crossed Rosicky keeps healthy, coz if he does, the depth of our squad will really start to show.

I could do on gushing, but shall refrain. Let's keep focused as we unfortunately have not technically qualified yet. Which is good, actually. Keeps our eye on the ball till Liege visits.

Elsewhere, more good/funny news about. Barca's Group F is a real crap shoot. Anyone could still qualify with two to play, so that'll be cool to watch. Funny how Inter went from being 1-0 down last night and last in the group, to snatching two goals at the death and leap-frogging everyone into top spot. What I wouldn't give to see Kiev and Kazan both qualify!! But alas, probably not.

Pool now need a "miracle" too. Heh. I thought they'd just about done their usual miracle-y thing went they went 1-0 up at Lyon. But dear oh dear. Bad karma does that to you, and if I were Rafa, I'd see even the gods against me now. Time to go, dude.

Finally, for those who are so inclined, it's Panini Champions League sticker time! What larks!

Clichy

Well shiver me timbers. The news is suddenly out that Clichy's a little stress fracture in his back, and could be out for a month or so. I'm not sure I saw anything on Saturday, so it could be one of several things: (a) he slipped in the shower and fell smack on his butt and tail bone; or (b) he's fallen ill of the..."virus"! Is this coincidence or what - that he puts in a few so-so performances, the Arsewiper says that Gibbs is watching him, and lo and behold, he gets a mysterious stress fracture.

We really could do without another injury, but if there's ever anytime we could give Gibbs a run out, this would be it. The real games where we'll have Gibbs instead of Clichy then would be: Alkmaar, Wolves, Sunderland, Liege, Chelsea, Citeh, Stoke and probably Olympiakos. Citeh's in the Carling Cup, and that's no big shakes. So we're really looking at a not too difficult run apart from Chelski. Fingers crossed that Gibbs stays injury free himself, and that we've got good enough cover for the Carling Cup in Armand Traore.

Elsewhere, Eboue's gone and proven just what an oddball he is. His life-long career goal: to play for PSG:

"One day I would like to play in Ligue 1. I like that league, there are a lot of surprises and developments. PSG are a club I admire. If they were to offer me a deal, the reply would be positive. We will have to see what happens next summer."

Err, okay. I thought people usually head the other way round, so...if it rings your bells, rattles your chains, then go for it dude. I suppose since PSG's the place where everyone goes off into quiet early retirement, it sorta makes sense: Gregory Coupet, Ludovic Giuly, Claude Makalele...

But, I must say Eboue has put in a few useful games in all sorts of positions, so I'll be sad to see him go next season (if he gets his dream transfer).

Finally, in response to overwhelming requests (i.e. 1 from my favourite tele-pundit), there's a new poll on the right. Click away!

Yay to footie tonight!

A Bit of Clarity

It's a Monday after a weekend of football. Where Citeh showed off their title credentials by scraping out a goalless draw away to a rampant and rather impressive Birmingham. And there's yet more light on the depths of Harry Redknapp's... impertinence... and... foolishness ... and... sillyness.

(NB: Following a rather distressing complaint from the language police, I have resolved to tone down on the abusive language - for this post at least).

So, I shall let the words speak for themselves - with minimal intervention from yours truly:

Harry Redknapp: "There is no gap between the clubs in my opinion."

Yes, fortunately, everyone's entitled to their opinions. You would be pleased to know that even Harry Redknapp has a rather personal opinion. As I'd said before the game, let's see. I'm even willing to wait till May 2010.

Harry Redknapp: "Goals change games unfortunately."

Indeed, another razor-sharp opinion. It is quite unfotunate, that in a game where the objective is to score goals, and not let them in, that goals can in fact change games. Who would've thought! Razor-sharp, dear 'arry.

On to more important things than Harry Redknapp...but wait a minute. What's that I hear? Silence? That strange buzzing that comes from deathly silence... Ah, yes, it's just Robbie Keane.

Silence aside - it's Champions League mid-week joy coming up, and I'm really looking forward to Milan - Madrid tomorrow. How yummy. I see a good game, and Milan possibly nicking it. Given Madrid's case of SARs - Severe Acute Ronaldodependicitis, it'll depend on whether he plays. Probably not, so we know what will likely happen.

Arsenal 3 - Topfour Hotspurs 0

A rather strange one this one. Nothing too spectacular about the performance, but the result is something to be mighty pleased about. Three against Spurs, clean sheet, no real need to get out of 3rd or 4th gear. Perfect. Especially fine after all the shite that spewed from the collective arses of Harry Redknapp and Robbie Keane. Just perfect.

Really, we could and should have done much better. The first half was pedestrian until Sagna managed to get a ball through for RVP to sneak it in with his right toe. Right or left, toe or instep, the man seems able to score with just about anything right now. Everyone looked kinda unaware that it had gone in, until RVP started celebrating.

And then right after the kick off, Cesc decides to go walkbout straight through the Spurs defence and put those sorry losers to sleep. Great solo goal, and Cesc doing what Cesc does best. All in all, we really didn't do too much that first half, and took the two chances that came our way. While we were not at our best, Spurs did not come close to even threatening. Only blemish in the first half, though, was Bent Nick's injury. Dude had to be taken off after little more than half an hour, which led to the introduction of Eduardo.

I must say I'm beginning to really like Bent Nick - his industry and his improving finishing especially. We'll miss him, as Le Boss thinks the groin has been seriously had.

Second half was much better in terms of our play, and we were dominant without really really punishing them. Eduardo was the main culprit, and should've added at least two very get-able goals. Shocking by his standards. Didn't have one of his better games, and looked strangely out of sorts.

Our third was quite amusing. Sagna pauses to stop play after Ed gets bundled over, realises there was no need, puts in the cross, its gets through sorry Ledley King and Gomes, and bounces off RVP for the goal. Heh.

So it was 3-0. More realistic score for the second half would've been 6-0. Add in two from Ed, and one more right at the death when Ramsey should've done better when straight through on goal as well. No wonder Le Boss was less than pleased at times during the better second half.

On to the player ratings:

Almunia 7 - Easy enough first day back at the office. He should keep his place for Alkmaar on Wednesday.

Sagna 8 - Great day out there on the right. Two assists, a few more threatening runs. Good show, boy.

TV 8 - Another commanding performance. At all the right places, at all the right times. Together with Billy, one hell of a central partnership.

Billy 7.5 - Ditto, but for a few dodgy challenges at the beginning of the second half. But looked comfortable all day long, keeping the inept Crouch-Keane comic duo at bay.

Clichy 6.5 - Nothing too spectacular, and again once or twice let people get past him way too easily. Gibbs is on yer, mate!

Diaby 5.5 - Easily the laggard of the team right now. Didn't offer very much at the back or going forward, and was invisible for large swathes of the game. Le Boss should've put Ramsey on for him much earlier on.

Song 7.5 - Another solid performance. Injuries aside, he should be a real monster by season's end.

Cesc 8 - Captain Cesc showed up today, thank god. His goal was probably easier than at first sight, but still. Nice slap in the face for Topfour Hotspurs.

Bent Nick 7 - Looked up for it until his untimely injury. We'll miss him.

Arshavin 7 - Dangerous as always, but not his best. The Spurs defence were crap today, and he should've had a field day.

RVP 8.5 - 6 goals in 5 league games. Nuff said. RVP's the man right now. His first goal was typical. Faster than anyone else.

Ed 6 - Poor Ed. He'll probably have to start against Alkmaar, so hopefully that'll be good opportunity to get some confidence back. The goal he missed when one-on-one with Gomes was truly woeful.

The highlights:



Harry Redknapp talked about "suicide" in describing his team's performance. Well and good, but the next time, before you commit suicide, just shut your gap. Now you and Keane go off and stick your collective heads up each other's arses. (Now they're complaining they were getting too muck stick from the Arse fans seated near the Spurs dug out. Aw. Poor things. Maybe that teaches you a lesson on how to keep it in when things threaten to sneak out from your trap).

Elsewhere, Pool are really coming good. What a joke. Some may say Rafa has to go, but methinks everyone else should also go - save you-know-who and you-know-who. Truly awful stuff which I enjoyed immensely. You know you're really up shit creek when Voronin starts, and you gotta take Torres off.

On to Wednesday. Next weekend will be fun too: Chelski - Man U on Sunday. Any result will be fine, so long as we do the business against Wolves late Saturday. Can't wait.

Puke...

Things are building up to Saturday of course. Y'know, I only really appreciated these lunch time kick-offs when I was watching from GMT+8. But now, at GMT +1 on a Saturday, it's gonna be hard to explain to Mrs Arsewiper that we're killing the entire Saturday (the only day that this particular country decides to be alive during the weekend) with a game early in the afternoon.

So I'll give it a miss. But watch it delayed. For all Arsewiping fans out there, please refrain from your messages lamenting misses, etc etc. I'll get to it when I get home. And if I really can't wait (which is the most likely case), I'll just check via my mobile. Thanks in advance!

Now on to more serious stuff.

First, if your breakfast hasn't yet been properly digested, wait 2 minutes before going further. We've already seen Robbie Keane's words dripping from his anal sphincter, but just for fun:

"In the last four or five years Arsenal always managed to get ahead of us but if you look now it is even. It will be judged at the end of the season but if you look at the bench we have, it is probably a bit stronger than their bench.”

Alright then. All I can suggest is that you go to a neutral third party to consider views to the contrary. Of course, on their day, Spurs can do a thing or two. Like beat Pool. And no doubt, they're possibly better now than in years past. But please, let's get some perspective. I'm not going to say we're going to kick their butts for sure on Saturday, coz I'm smarter than Robbie Keane (doesn't say much), but just looking at their record, I'll just let the punters make their own judgement.

Elsewhere, 'arry Redknapp's talking up the great David Bentley. He of numeruos testicles. Seriously: "There's no doubt Bentley has balls - plenty of 'em". Shite. Wonder who sponsors the Spurs jock-staps. Must be good if Bentley can run as he does with plenty of balls.

Enough about Spurs. Let's just see on Saturday, and after that, May 2010.

As for our squad, well, looks like poor Fabianski has fallen prey to the suspicious "chest infection aka thigh injury". He seemed perfectly fine to me Wednesday, so it must have been a virus. Which goalkeepers sometimes get. Which can be quite contagious. Especially between goalkeepers. Sometimes most contagious when certain other goalkeepers start recovering.

So perhaps Almunia will start on Saturday, and then Wednesday, and after that, depending on his recovery, he may succumb to the same virus again, this time affecting another part of his anatomy. Which is fine, since this virus will then have resolved itself in Fabianski. Who may then come back, but of course depending on whether the virus has manifested itself in Mannone.

But which leads to another problem - that these viruses only seem to affect Arse goalkeepers. Which may mean we'll need goalkeeping reinforcements in January. Right?

Going back to Spurs then. Random check on the bookies, and the most likely outcomes are:

Arse 1-0: 6 to 1; 1-1 and Arse 2-1: 7-1, and finally, Spurs 1-0 and Arse 3-0 are equally likely at 10-1. Looks good for Arse you think? 5-0 and 5-1 look good at 66-1, so maybe a couple of bucks on those then.

C'mon you Reds!

I'll just end with something for a little Friday chuckle. Special guest for today is none other than Liverpool ace Dirk Kuyt (pronounced coit, as in coitus). Here's his take on new Anfield messiah Alberto Aquilani:

“Alberto tries to be involved in training and outside the pitch. He tried to play cards with us before the Arsenal game and he has attempted to pick up the language."

He TRIED...he really TRIED...to...PLAY CARDS! With the boys, BEFORE the Arsenal game. AND! He attempted to pick up the language.

Well, shiver me timbers, I think we've got a live one here! Here's a little advice: try starting him on Top Trumps. Then, he can start learning both the language, and all the stats on key players as well!

Review: Arsenal 2 - Liverpool 1

As usual, the boys showed some of the first team how it should be done. Got to a lead, and held on to it. It was a great performance, but the only real thing I would take away from the performance was who exactly has a rightful claim to a first team place, and who should in turn fear theirs. Let's see: Senderos should at least be on the bench; Gibbs for sure; Gilbert perhaps; Merida for sure; Ramsey for sure; Fabianski for sure. It was excellent to see Ed out for the full 90 minutes, as it was for Nasri as well. Bent Nick did well, and capped his performance with a solid goal with his left foot.

All in all, nothing too much one could fault from the performance. For once, the goal we let in wasn't soft, and I would gladly give Pool the credit for it, and not some silly team or individual error on our part.

Senderos and Silvestre did reasonably well, though I must admit our best defender for the night must've been Voronin. Any Liverpool threat, and he was sure to snuff it out. Good man. Just what Rafa has in mind when he keeps him paid and on Pool books is for him to sort out.

As for the goals, two things stood out: One, Merida's first goal for the team was a thing of beauty, and more importantly, confidence. Nice slap on the face to Le Boss, saying, put me on the first team. Two, Bent Nick's came at the end of a beautiful period of passing through the entire team. Simply wonderful to behold. We'd missed some of that in recent games. The goals are right here to check out:



I'd said this before, and I won't put too much on this win. It was nice to see, no doubt, but we'll have to see how to translate some of the positives into the games that matter. We can do that either through transferring some of the work rate and attitude, and transferring some of the better performers into the first team.

I'm not going to go into the player ratings. It's been painful enough watching the game through a live stream, and honestly, if the whole team looks to flow on a stream that lags, stops, hangs, etc, then I'm fine with it.

On to Saturday. Defend again like we did today as a team - even Bent Nick was back all the time - and we should do fine.

The peaks of excitement

It's the day of an Arse-Pool evening kick-off. Usually, the cause for much excitement, eager anticipation and nail biting. But not quite so today. Maybe because it's the Carling Cup. Maybe because we really have no clue what's going to happen. Maybe it's because we know we've got an infinitely more important game to play on Saturday, and maybe it's because we've sucked the last two games. Who knows.

In terms of a starting 11, Le Boss has set forth those available. Let's see. Fabianski, Silvestre (yay...), Senderos (yay!!), probably Gibbs, Bent Nick, Nasri, Eduardo, Ramsey, Coquelin, Vela, Merida... not sure where the defence is going to be actually. Oh well. If we win, we win. If we lose, we lose. History has shown that good Carling Cup run or not, there's really no relationship to runs in the games that matter.

Funny how as I go through this little peeved-ness with the Arse, we read this little bit of supposed news on Nick Hornby getting all disillusioned with Arse:

Emirates as being ''better than Highbury, but not as good, if you know what I mean.'' Yes, I know what you mean. Really. But I think these things take time. Highbury was special. As a small ground, it was really unique, and unlike anything else in the top leagues. Old Traffor is special, and so is Anfield, but it'll take quite a bit of time before we get there. And nothing helps better than nice memories of big games and trophies, which we really haven't had yet at the Emirates.

Which brings us to Hornby's point that the Emirates has been ''unhappy place. We really need to win a trophy." Exactement. Nothing can be more unhappy than getting whipped at home by Man U in a Champions League semi. Or letting a two goal lead slip against Spurs with 5 minutes to play. I think I've mentioned exorcisms before, and the Emirates needs a big result in a big game for a trophy soon to exorcise these little unhappy memories.

Finally, there's some news on ole Manuel Almunia. Go figure. Yes, it's nice to have some competition among three dudes for the top spot, but as Le Boss recognises, he will have to decide soon. Either way, perhaps the green jersey is somewhere we need some reinforcements in come January. Can't we like find a Peter Schmeichel somewhere? Any of the three right now aren't exactly Champions League or league-winning types if you asked me.

Blurgh. Enough of this dreary talk. What we really need now are a couple of nice, solid 1-0, 2-0 victories. None of this 6-2, 3-1, 4-1, 1-1-, 2-2 games filled with little bits of defensive inadequacies.

Complacency

Funny. I'd talked about complacency before, and Le Boss now has his take on it:

“It is not complacency. We just have to continue to play in a rigorous way, respect the game we love and the pass. That is what we forgot sometimes and we have paid for it."

“We play at top quality and at the moment we do not get rewarded for what we produce.

“In the Champions League it can happen that you are 1-0 up and are caught on a free-kick in the last minute. Today it has not to happen. At 2-0 we lost the way we want to play the game. And when a team comeback to 2-1 and you are away from home you are always under threat to go to 2-2.”

Don't know about people out there, but I've been though since being a wee little boy, and especially now as an adult, that the word "deserve" means nothing, except when it comes to punishment and pain you deserve. Otherwise, nobody deserves anything - in the positive sense. Our reward for the game we played was exactly what we got. 1 point. At times, I felt we could even have lost it completely, so I'm not even going to suggest we "deserved" all 3 as just reward.

As tele-pundit Kumar has put it, I can only hope that behind these niceties, he's giving the team an absolutely arse-ripping over the last two games.

All said and done, you've gotta love the EPL. It's really all up from grabs now, and anything really can happen. Which is great, and you'd only hope your own team doesn't fall prey to the weird and wonderful. But we have. Already. Thrice this season. Fuck. There'll probably be much more.

I'd say that it's probably our form away from home that will worry me more this season. We will ship the occasional stupid goal at home. See: Pompey, Birmingham, Blackburn, but we'll probably score more against these likes. But I won't be so sure with the bigger teams. But we will also ship more than the occasional stupid goal away, and this time, I won't be so sure we'll eb able to respond. See Citeh, Man U and now West Ham.

I won't criticise the defenders per se. They've done a marvellous job in themselves. But it's the system that has been set up for them, and Wenger will have to tighten it up quite a bit more. 4-3-3's great as far as the goals are concerned, but two areas to work on are defending as a team as much as attacking as a team, and cutting out all that shit 50% complacency shit.

Le Boss has got that wrong. Well, either it's complacency or we're just not good enough to beat West Ham. Go figure.

West Ham 2 - Arsenal 2

Just two words: fucked up.

Despite being two goals up, we had in many ways, been out-played by West Ham. If not in terms of ability, then surely in terms of commitment and professionalism. Where each and every West Ham player gave 100% (and I would say Carlton Cole and Diamanti for his short time on the pitch), I would say that at the very best, ours gave from 40-50%.

After being two goals up despite not being anywhere our best at half time, one would expect two things to happen with a team intent on taking the league by its balls. First, to shut up shop and take our chances to wrap up the game. Second, for leadership to emerge and one player to rally the troops. Nothing happened. This is where Cesc had another mediocre game. Mediocre games we can take, but mediocre instances of leadership is another thing.

Especially when others had tripped up, from Man U, to Spurs to Citeh, playing last at the weekend would've given the best of the best ther perfect opportunity to nail down the gains for the weekend. Again, nothing happened.

Wenger needs to do something if we're going to stop this disturbing trend. I wonder what adjectives he's going to use now. Naive? Accidental? What? What? What? Slack? Complacent?

What grates most is not when players play badly, what grates most is when players decide to give less than 100%. You could see it, and we were basically out-willed by West Ham when it mattered most, in the last 20 minutes. Pathetic.

Looking at the table, the result was no big disaster. But in terms of the mentality of the team, it think it has disastrous implications. Not sure how we're going to go into the game with Spurs at the weekend, knowing that we have weaknesses all too obvious for all to exploit.

So the first goal we gave away was a stupid schoolboy error from Mannone. (Equals out Green's equally bad error for ours). Not sure what he was thinking palming the ball straight across goal. The penalty we gave away also had a painful sense of deja vu. Of penalties we've given away at crucial moments. Most recently: Man U. In the past, Liverpool in the Champions League. Again, a lack of composure. Most teams now must know that when pushed, when slightly questioned, when our character is questioned, we'll likely fold.

How will that be addressed then? Not too sure, but it had better be.

Player ratings? Why not.

Mannone 6 - His adventure needs to end. Not sure what the deal with Almunia is, but I hope having him back is better.

Sagna 7 - At least looked like he played somewhere close to what he can in terms of commitment.

TV 6.5 - Can't fault him. But in times of pressure, and in this game it was just the last 30 minutes, that's when we need people like him most.

Gallas 6.5 - Ditto. Could've given away an earlier penalty with a clumsy trip.

Clichy 6.5 - Average-ish. Again, a few more errors than we would've liked.

Eboue 7 - One of those who showed he was up to it.

Diaby 5 - Not again...

Song 7 - I'd have scored him higher, but it was really his clumsy trip.

Cesc 5 - What's one to think? Maybe it's the whole family thing. But whatever. It sucks right now.

Arsh 5 - Bad too. Nothing from him today.

RVP 6 - Wasn't his usual best, and compared to the likes of Cole and Diamanti, paled in comparison.

Ah, F it. What a damn damn damn waste to make some ground up.

Who gives a shit, but we've got a Carling Cup game on Tuesday with Pool.

Things that make you go hmmmm....

This is why we all love the Champions League. Things like Madrid 2 - AC Milan 3. I must say I'm glad I chose to watch it despite all the other games going on and the frantic attempts at channel surfing. Spanish commentary and all too. Madrid were crap. Have been crap. Without Ronaldo. Galacticos my foot. Pfft. What was pretty fun too was watching Madrid's first goal, following Dida's dodo.



Oh yeah, the refereeing was generally crap too. Pathetic (non) penalty decisions, strangely disallowed goals, etc etc.

Things also like FC Zurich 0 - Marseille 1 may you go hmmmm too. And ha ha as well. Writing from Switzerland, I must say it gave me much pleasure to see/hear. After all that happened after beating Milan, this is what happens. Funny thing was listening to the radio the morning after, and people are wondering why the stadium in Zurich was only 3/4 full. Reasons? Oh...people don't like these pitches with running tracks around them. Oh...it's that strange mid-week kick off. (I kid you not). Oh...even then, it's that strange 8.45pm kick off. (I kid you not x 2). That's why the Swiss didn't come support the team. That's why the atmosphere was muted. That's why they lost.

Hmmm. Yes. Of course.

But as I say, that's why I love the Champions League.

Anyway, on the Arse front, thank god Nasri's back.

Is it me or has be recovered quite quickly? Quite unlike some of his team mates? I mean see what he says:

"It was the first serious injury I have had. Two years ago in Marseilles I twisted my ankle but it was not bad like this one. I was sick also, I had meningitis, so that was bad, but this is the first time I have broken a bone in my body. But I am really happy, I had a quick recovery and everything is fine now."

Two years ago, he twisted his ankle! Holy shites. Even me, my last injury was 10 seconds ago typing the title of this entry, and this dude has been playing professional football for x years and the last time was a twisted ankle two years ago?! Shit, we need more of him around! Or maybe like extract some of his DNA and secretly stick it in Theo.

Alright then, nothing much happening till Sunday. Can't wait to see what happens re Pool - Man U. Let's hope for a good result there (anything really!) and then pick up our three points.

Review: AZ Alkmaar 1 - Arsenal 1

Well, we deserved it. We deserved it like crap deserves to smell. Like Hull (really) deserves to be relegated, like Birmingham fans deserve Birmingham.

Watching Arse this season has been a mix of sheer joy and occasional frustration. Last night was weird. It was more like...boredom. It didn't help that Alkmaar are basically, a really crap team. Just as crap as Liege, if not more crap. So for the first half hour, we operated at 30% capacity, and second gear to boot. Must've been the cold, coz we really looked out of it. Think about it - while Alkmaar's passing went nowhere, we were outpassed by a mediocre Dutch team which West Brom would dispatch with ease.

Our goal then, had to come from an Alkmaar mistake, and the couple of passes from RVP to Cesc were probably the best passage of passes we had the whole game. And apart from the goal, I must say Cesc was equally crap the whole night. That said, going one up was probably the worst thing that could've happened. The team then figured that..."Hey! We've been crap, and we're still one up, and these people are so crap, let's just have a little stroll and rest up for West Ham."

So that was basically it for the next 40 or so minutes. Until for some reason, around minute 75, Alkmaar decided to actually pass the ball towards goal. And then, it happened. Alkmaar contrived to miss when it was easier to score, one player getting in the way of a goal bound shot. From a set piece no less.

You'd have thought that that would be perfect kick up the khyber, to let it be known that this traipsing around at 1-0 was not going to be any good. But no...you could just see it happen.

And honest to god, I did. 90+3 minutes. Free kick, and I say to myself, hmmm...I wouldn't be surprised if...

In short, we deserved it, for playing like we thought we deserved the win, playing at a crap 30-40% capacity. Le Boss says it was naivete. This adds to the "accidents" that happened in Manchester. It wasn't naivete. It was complacency, plain and simple. A team challenging for the league and Champions League cannot be naive. Come on. How come he in one breath say our boys are ready, while in the next claim naivete? Methinks complacency would be a far better explanation. Put it this way, if Alkmaar had gone one-up in the first 15 minutes, I'm pretty confident we would sit up and put the game away. But to get to 1-0 and continue to coast through mediocrity, is nothing more than complacency.

But anyway. I'm glad it happened. It's like when your kid nearly slices his finger off after you tell him not to play with the friggin' Swiss Army Knife for the 10th time. It hurts you, it hurts him, but you're kinda glad it happened. Better he nearly slices it off, and learns his lesson than slice it off completely the next time. (Oh shit...did I just suggest that we have a team of kids???)

Anyway - a draw is not big catastrophe. Surprise surprise, it's our first draw this season, and while it was bound to happen some time, we can only hope that the way it happened would teach us a lesson or two. Good thing too that if all goes to plan, the draw would be inconsequential anyway. Just win our two next home games, and draw away to Olympiacos, and we'll top the table. If we can't win at home to Alkmaar and Liege, well then...

For those who are so inclined, match highlights right here:



As for the player ratings:

Mannone 7 - Decent enough, and couldn't blame him for the goal. One wonders what plans are for the boy.

Sagna 6.5 - Good enough, but non-descript enough as well. Didn't have much to do in defence (save defend a few stupid set pieces!!), and was as clueless as the rest going forward.

Gallas 7 - Workman-like performance, but in the last second of games, you'd expect him to be yelling out orders to his defence.

TV 7 - Ditto.

Clichy 6 - Getting a little bit suspect, I'm afraid. Letting too many people and balls get by him too easily.

Eboue 7.5 - Strangely, one of the few who seemed to look like they actually cared. Some great runs, but his usual occasional crap final ball.

Diaby 4 - Should just go home. Again, he was in the thick of it in letting the goal in. Seriously needs to work on his heading if he's to remain anywhere near the first team. Nearly scored another own goal when he fell asleep defending...a set piece.

Cesc 5 - By his high high standards, a rather nothing performance. Nothing in terms of lifting the team, nothing in terms of creating anything. His tap in was all the work of RVP and the Arsh, and a (crap) Alkmaar player.

Song 8 - My favourite, increasingly. Played his usual committed game, and provided good enough cover for the back, and tried his best going forward.

Arsh 6.5 - Not his best game by his high standards, but still miles ahead of Cesc and Diaby.

RVP 7.5 - One of the better players on the day. With Arsh, the only sources of anything worthwhile. Should've put away a first try early in the first half though.

Before we get too down on ourselves, let's just think for a minute. Barca 1 - Rubin Kazan 2. Pool 1 - Lyon 2. Strange the things that spring to mind...

Funny looking at Barca's group. Everyone's on 4 points, with Inter on 3. It's as open as open ever will be. I'll be keeping out an eye on that. I liked Guardiola's explanation. Basically, shit happens. Wish Le Boss would say that too. Shit happens. Sometimes, it's shit performances. And Pool? Well, I really enjoyed that. And we thought we had a bad result letting in a last-minute goal...

On the subject of Pool, looks like their loss to Lyon was the first time they've lost 4 on the trot since the days of er...Kenny Dalglish no less! What larks. Anyway, now that they've lost 4, guess who they play next - Man U and then Arse in the Carling Cup. Now, the possibilities are endless, but what joy to be had if our little tykes put them to their 6th!

So toodle-oo. I hear Nasri's back. Methinks our boys need some re-energising. Another tricky away game after Europe's never good. Fingers crossed lessons have been learnt. In the meantime, gotta go watch a few nice games tonight, not least Madrid - Milan.

Crunch Time

There are basically two types of crunch times. The first one, which happens quite regularly, is when Theo is involved in any sort of tackle. You can just hear it. Crunch crunch, snap snap, twist twist. Ouch, ouch. This time, after his shoulder, shoulder, back, it's his knee. Medial ligaments.

According to Le Boss, he'll now be out 3-4 weeks. This is how I usually read 3-4 weeks in Theo's world. In 3-4 weeks, he'll start training. A week later, with a ball. Then, he may have a slight niggle, so take another week. Then, back to training. One more week later, it's the reserves. One more later, he gets to sit on the bench, and two after that, it's a starting place. Now, taking 3-4 weeks to actually mean 4, that brings us to...10 weeks before we see him starting again. Which is actually what? Christmas? Crunch time!

The second (or maybe third) crunch time has to do with dealing with a less than full team. That's when your title credentials are really tested. And we may soon be nearing that crunch time. Bent Nick's still out. Eduardo's out as usual. Denilson's crocked. I won't be surprised if RVP will need a rest pretty soon. He's had quite a hectic period by his standards, so he's due a break. But with Bent Nick and Ed out, what the hell are we going to do? Carlos Vela? Still jet lagged.

Or maybe...we get Djourou back, and stick TV up front. Ooops. Sorry. Djourou's crocked as well. Oh well. Senderos then. Hey! On that score, Senderos could play up front too, the Swiss goal machine!

So looking forward to Alkmaar on Tuesday then. And the squad looks awful thin. For some reason, poor Philippe ain't there either! It's Silvestre instead. Crunch time, I say again.

Okay, enough of this depressing injurious talk. Let's talk about balls instead. Yes, beach balls. Big red Liverpool beach balls. If being a Pool fan ain't depressing enough as is, they now have to deal with the legal implications of being a round object. There's all sort of talk now about how the (poor) ref cocked up by allowing the goal. There are some, and there's proably nothing worse than an ex-ref TV pundit, who claim that:

''Talk about an outside influence - the ball went in off the beach ball and completely deceived the Liverpool goalkeeper. I am absolutely amazed that for a referee at that level of football, that between him, his assistant, the fourth official, they didn't see what had happened and give the correct decision.''

You see, outside influences have to be removed, play stopped, etc etc etc.

Mr ex-ref goes on:

''An outside influence is any outside influence. It is anything other than the 22 maximum players on the field and the referee. If it hits the referee and goes in, he's part of the game. If a spectator comes on the pitch and kicks the ball, the game must be stopped."

''It's a basic law of the game - one that fortunately doesn't come into practice too much - but it's a basic law of the game that a referee would learn on his initial refereeing cause, not when you're an established Premier League referee."

Yes, Mr Smartypants. But how about balloons? Wasn't there something along those lines last season? Huh? So if it hits balloons, the goal's allowed. Beach balls, on the other hand, are a different matter altogether.

Going by Mr Smartypants' standards, anything is anything. So, here's a new trick for you goalkeepers to consider. Stick a little marble in your socks or gloves. Anytime you let a goal in, let it fall out onto the pitch. Then, you can claim either of the following, depending on the situation: (a) the ball deflected off the outside influence, or (b) you slipped on the outside influence. Either case, any outside influence is an outside influence, and it shouldn't have been on the pitch.

Bollocks I say. The goal was good. Balloon, beach ball, what? The ref is supposed to consult a lawyer in that 2 seconds before awarding the goal? Not sure if it's the internet, but we seem to be getting more and more hints of footballing stupidity these days. Can't see why Bozo Reina didn't just get rid of it in the first place. Probably thought it was...just...a...ballooooon. Or maybe he tried stamping on it, and failed, and couldn't figure out what to do next.

The argument basically goes that the outside influence being there, the game should've been stopped. But the thing is: would this still be the case if there was NO deflection? Would there be any ref out there who would have disallowed the goal if there was no deflection? The fact is, it should've been removed BEFORE the goal was scored. Once it wasn't, and once the goal was scored, the deed was done. Deflection or otherwise.

The sad reality, however, is that Mr Ref with the ball has been sent off to footballing Siberia. Poor chap. Got screwed over, basically by a mad tabloid media. Seeing what happened with Eduardo and Divegate, I can sympathise. If it were Tamworth v Salisbury City (no offence!) with the ball cannoning off a dead crow in the Conference, nobody would've given a flying crap.

Actually, I have a question. What was that Liverpool beach ball doing in Sunderland. If it was Anfield, I could understand it. Probably got it at the shop in the stadium. But...did someone bring a goddamn beach ball all the way from Liverpool to Sunderland only to use it to unwittingly screw up his team's title chances? Hmm. Perhaps.

Finally then. Let's talk a little about Birmingham. Le Boss is royally pissed about the chants made out by them fans at the game, about there being only one Martin Taylor. Really, such losers that they are, who really cares. May you rot in Championship hell for the rest of your sad lives. Carson Yeung or otherwise. I think the best thing their new owner can hope to do for such a loser-ish club is to put some nice dim sum on their executive lunch menus. Otherwise, they're stuck in loserdom. I suppose when you've got a crap team to support, the little joys in life would include chanting about a player who had his leg badly broken, and more importantly, had never done a thing to offend.

Of course, fans can be losers, but you'd hope that managers aren't. Of course, Alex McLeish claims he heard nothing - just like managers claim temporary blindness when it comes to protecting their players. But let's just say this: it's probably one thing to protect your players, all 20-something of them, but to claim deafness and protect a couple thousand (or hundred) losers, well, that's their prerogative. Pfff.

Review: Arsenal 3 - Birmingham 1

First, it's great having something to write about after a long long long international break.

Second, this post goes out to a rather impatient Arsewiping reader. You know who you are. I suppose his impatience is due either to (a) his being rather bored on a Saturday night, or (b) this being a rather scintillating, edge-of-your-seat type of blog. Whatever the case, I now being to write.

Third, a rather strange match to review. Not least because I had to watch in on a live stream, and because I also missed our two first goals. Fine. Laugh. I had to dash off for a toilet break around minute 15, and by the time I came back, the score was very nicely at 2-0. The two goals were super, in particular Song's ball to RVP, and RVP's super control and turn for the first goal. Was this to be another Saturday afternoon stroll at the Emirates? Alas. No.

How often have we seen it already this season. Playing well, in control, opposition with little to no possession or threat, and then out of the blue, a soft goal. Diaby with the pathetic effort at a headed clearance that went straight up into the air - which I suppose we should just be glad did not go straight into the goal - Mannone with the flap straight to of all people Lee Bowyer, and the Brum goal. Can't say I was terribly surprised. It's beginning to look a lot like the intentional little mistakes master carpet weavers put into their persian carpets.

So for all the possession, shots on goal, we get into half time only one goal to the good.

Second half then. We don't do too badly, but I must say Birmingham did play quite well at the back and didn't allow us very much. Defended much better than other visitors thus far, and I was really left wondering whether this would end up a gritty hard-fought 2-1 victory. We were presented a gift-wrapped opportunity with a bow around it when the crap ref gave us a free kick for a supposed backpass. Thank you very much, but all we do is have RvP crash one just off the crossbar.

Brum never really posed a threat in attack, and the one time they did, Mannone at least showed some usefulness in palming away a clever pass back across the goal by Liam Ridgewell.

But at long last, a counter attack, and leave it to the Arsh to keep his cool with the calmest and cheekiest of caresses of the ball with this right instep to bring it to 3-1. 3-1 was all in all, a result we largely deserved. It was by no means easy, and given the really easy games we've had at home, this was probably coming anyway. I'll be thankful for the performance, and note that at some point last season, would very easily have come away from such a game with a 1-1 draw.

As for the player ratings:

Mannone 6.5 - Poor guy. With Almunia back and watching, puts in his least convincing display. Had that one howler, and after that, did just enough to keep things tight.

Gibbs 7.5 - Apart from one stray pass, didn't do much wrong. If there's anyone more adventurous in attack that Clichy, it's Gibbs. My word, we'd better watch how far forward he runs, and how often.

TV 7 - A solid performance, but by his high standards, not his best. But give me this day in day out, and I'll be fine.

Billy 7 - Ditto.

Eboue 7 - Not too bad too, and made his usual nice runs on the right. As we all know, just needs to work a little bit more in finessing his final ball.

Diaby 7 - Erm. Not sure really. Again, can't seem to get out of the habit of keeping the ball for that 10 seconds longer than he needs. Gave him some credit for the goal, and more for a sure second if not for a great save from Joe Hart.

Rosicky 7.5 - We've missed him. And thank god he's back, given Mr Made of Glass - and not even Tempered Glass Walcott. In fact, he looks like he never left, both physically and in his vision, touches and all.

Arsh 7.5 - God bless his soul. Full of clever touches, runs, and of course, goals. It's a great feeling to be able to have his sort come off the bench. Just hope he's not too knackered for Tuesday.

Walcott - Sorry. Didn't see much of the boy. I sense trouble on the injuries front for him. Fingers crossed, but who knows, really.

Cesc 7 - Not his most imperious, which was why we seemed to struggle in the second half. But we'll give him a break. He's had enough international football and family issues to deal with.

Song 7.5 - Liking him more and more this season. Does the job. If only he could grow another 2 inches, look a bit more menacing, lose some hair, and he'd be our Vieira.

RVP 7 - Didn't I see him score an identical goal v Blackburn? Nice to see the confidence back.

Nice full highlights are right here, so enjoy; after that, Le Boss's post-match views as well.


Watch Arsenal v Birmingham City in Sports Online  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com



Le Boss makes reference to this and no doubt this was a good Saturday for more reasons than what happened at the Emirates. First, Chelski losing 2-1 to Villa in the early kick off. SWEET! Chelski have been crap this season, and it's about time it showed. Too many last minute winners against lesser teams, and at last, their crapness has showed. So we're four points off the pace with a game in hand. Who would've thought. Just brilliant I say.

Elsewhere, Pool get beaten by a balloon. And a red one thrown on by a Pool fan no less. What larks. I've had a look at the goal, and it's hilarious. Bozo Reina actually looks over at the ballon instead of the ball as it heads into the net. Not that the deflection was that massive, but what a twit. Anyways, I'll leave it to the Dubious Goals Committee to decide if that's going to be a Bent goal or a Balloon o.g.

So our esteemed challengers have now lost four. Four. Four. Is their season over then? Who cares. Probably not. But in any case, it all sets up quite nicely for next weekend, when we get Pool v Man U. Perfect opportunity for us to play a little catch up.

On the injury front, Theo's out for 23 years looks like, so fingers crossed Nasri gets back into shape in extra quick time.

Wonder if I'll bother watching Citeh tomorrow. Bluuurrgh.

Review: Arsenal 6 - Blackburn 2

Deja vu. 6-2. Rhymes too.



But what a strange strange game this was. In our attacking play, we basically picked up where we left off against Olympiakos, with a fluency we're scarily becoming assoicated with. But in our defensive third, it was really very scary stuff. In this case, really scary, not the nice kind of scary.



The first goal, courtesy of Bernie Madoff M'Ponzi was typically soft. It was a pathetic goal to give away in the first couple of minutes. Robinson free kick straight into the penalty box, and a looping header straight into the goal. TV who lost the header, and Mannone who was woefully off the line, were to blame.



It was unnecessary, we needed that kick up the arse, given how we'd started with an almost over-confident swagger. And who else to equalise with a screamer than TV himself. Funny how he had a "screw this shit, how dare these crappos from Blackburn score against me" look about his "celebrations". All this within the first 17 minutes or so.



Then another soft soft goal. Lousy Dunn deflected goal as our defence stood off a-not-so-intimidating run into the box by the fatso.



Now that really pissed the guys off, and another 5 absolute gems to come from RVP, Arsh, Cesc, Theo and Bent Nick. My fave must be Nick's. He came on with like 15 minutes left, and seemed 100% intent on capitalising on the Blackburn goal. And what a goal...



If both teams had made good their opportunities, we could've had like a rugby score: 14 - 5; e.g. RVP dawdled when he should've scored right in front of goal, Cesc hitting the bar with a header, Cesc heading straight at Robinson, etc etc. But truth be told, I'd struggle to find 6 prettier Arse goals than we had today. And all by six different players too. Wonder when that last happened.



Defensively, it was really quite bad at times. Scarily lax in the latter third, giving Blackburn too much space to run at us, giving the ball away, and letting them get behind us. Clichy, Diaby and Song all guilty of this at different times. After our nice run of clean sheets, this was really an unacceptable defensive display.



We'd better buck up in that department - lest we get punished again like we did at friggin' Citeh.



As for the player ratings:



Mannone 7 - Generally dependable, save that first silly goal to give away.



Sagna 7 - Nothing much came from the Blackburn left, so Bacary had us pretty much covered there.



Gallas 7.5 - Good solid showing in the middle; never tired.



TV 7.5 - Top scorer still. Incredible. Though I suppose his weak jump in defence for the first goal does hint at his being human.



Clichy 6.5 - Not a terribly convincing display. Let a few dudes get behind him too many times. Needs to work on that.



Song 7.5 - Generally quiet dependable display, but that's what he's getting known for. Allowed Cesc to run the show.



Cesc 8.5 - Ran the show from midfield. Involved in TV's goal, RVP's goal, Arsh's goal and Theo's goal. Add to that a voluptous volley, and hitting the bar with a header...



Diaby 6 - Not sure why Le Boss kept him on for the whole 90. Did nothing to contribute. Dawdled on the ball too often again. Damn. I think it's his hair. Hasn't had one since his brace at Pompey, and that has clearly affected his form.



Arsh 7.5 - Excellent third goal. Had a couple of great runs at the Blackburn defence. Amazing centre of gravity. Never seems to be able to fall over.


Rosicky 7.5 - Hard to believe he's been out for so long. Ran his lungs off, and had a couple of good shots at goal. We've missed his trickery, and thank god he's been able to cover for Nasri. They're almost identical, aren't they?



RVP 8 - Together with Cesc, at the heart of all our best attacking moves. His goal, like TV's, had more than a hint at "take THAT, you idiots!" written all over it. What a finish. Should've done better thought, when he should've headed rather than control the ball on his chest 6 yards from the goal line.



A mention for Theo - what a return. Excellent finish. Must've had a nice time with the Olympiakos reserves.


Great extended highlights here, so enjoy:



Nice little post-game interview Le Boss too:



All in all, a nice Sunday out. Add to that Man U's inept performance and getaway against Sunderland, we've done pretty well for ourselves, eh? Speaking of Man U's lucky draw against Sunderland - strange how it's the first draw from the Big Four this season. Weird. But it just shows. Methinks 4-5 of the gang will be in it for the long haul this season. Minus Spurs.



Now, to the Chelski - Pool game...and oh well. Chelski were ripe for the taking but so were Pool, who were really dismal. Not much of a chance, and they were never in it. Would've preferred a draw, but their loss has allowed us to leap frog them into 4th with a game in hand. But consider the stats on the league table. Played 7, scored 24. 14 at home in 3 games. Simply awesome attacking force. More work to be done elsewhere.


Final little bit of trivia. Of course, the camera work for the game saw a whole lot of attention on Thierry Henry in the stands. I presume it was his little girl with him, but who was the lady friend? English? From London? Does that explain his sudden expressions of intent to return to London? AND, more strangely, what the heck was Paddy Vieira doing at Stamford Bridge? Was he even at the Emirates before?

The Return

A day before Blackburn, and all sorts of things out there paying tribute to Le Boss. Our longest serving manager ever, and most successful ever. Nothing much more I can add to that. You could even say that through Arse, Le Boss has also single-handedly altered the shape of the English Premier League for the better.

At the same time, there's now Thierry Henry saying that he would very much like to return to the Emirates one day.

"I'm trying to finish what I started nearly 15 years ago but we will see. I always said you go back to where you belong. I never stopped saying I love Arsenal and I will one day go back there."

"How? I don't now. Maybe as a water boy. Who knows? I just love the club and eventually one day I will go back for sure. "

He says "for sure". Hmmm. Absolutely? Perhaps he's had a little bit of a Pep Guardiola-esque inspiration to become a super successful young manager. But honestly, I don't really see him as being a really good manager. Remember, he never really had much success as our captain, so I'm not sure he has it in him...between Henry and Bergkamp, I'd go for the latter.

Henry's love for Arse, however, does raise another question. Just why did he leave in the first place? For a Champions League medal? Well, he's got that now. Where to at this point? Was it just to leave London and his messy family life behind? Is that why he's so sure he'll return one day? Or maybe he's saying it simply because he's bought himself an apartment at Highbury Square, and that he'd come back every now and then?

Ah well. Whatever. We'll see.

In the more immediate future, we have Theo and Bent Nick back for Blackburn. Eduardo's crocked (as usual). I suppose the time he's been out, and how much his body has gone through, he'll probably be prone to the more than occasional niggly injury for the rest of his career. Touch wood, but Bent Nick seems rather injury-proof by Arse standards, so he's better start taking his first team chances by the balls.

On to Sunday then. In the meantime, I've just seen Spurs equalise against Bolton, which has potentially spoiled what would have been a great Saturday football wise.

The World According to Gael Clichy

There's a super interview with Clichy out. Well worth a read, but I'll extract the best bits here:


"Everything in our team feels totally different this time and I cannot explain why. You could say this is because certain players left, but it feels like we are much more of a united squad once again. Everyone knows we had problems in our dressing room last season, there is no point in denying this. We are in a high profile job and every argument we have is uncovered and spoken about in the newspapers."


Right on. Interesting is how he used the term "once again". Wonder which point in the past he's used as reference. The Invincibles? Perhaps. We do know the team has never been the same since the last FA Cup victory in May 2005. I know a certain Togo international signed for us in January of 2006, but it's probably just a statistical coincidence.


Elsewhere, TV says some nice things as well, in a sign that all is hunky dory for now.


As for what happened Wednesday night, well. First, Man U were lucky, Chelski crap, and AC Milan...well, AC Milan. How they have fallen. I mean, to lose at home once in a while is fine. But, to FC Zurich? A Swiss team? Swiss. Let me say it again. SWISS! How can anyone lose at home to a Swiss team - apart from a Swiss team? This was the same Swiss team that LOST 5-2 at home to Madrid. All I can say is, maybe it's time Matt Flamster called it a day and headed back over to the Emirates. Methinks you'd have more fun over here, Matt. (Maybe it's Mat, since his Mathieu does only have one "t").

Final stupidity for the day: For all his great footballing skill, Xavi shows us yet another trick up his sleeve. The rare ability to talk out of his anal sphincter. Makes yet another stupid plea to be able to play with Cesc. If you reeeeeally want to come to the Emirates, I think we'd consider it. Why not. But if Cesc wants to hop over to the Camp Nou one day, fine. He'll do it. But I think he's man enough to decide when. As for you Xavi, may you be cursed to end your playnig days under Sven at Notts County (after doing the usual Arse-Pompey-Notts County tour).

Later then.

Review: Arsenal 2 - Olympiakos 0

I began writing this at half time, trying my darnedest to describe what I'd just witnessed in one word. I thought and I thought and I thought, and at last, I found the word - after looking it up of course. And this is it: anejaculation.

How do I put this nicely. Let's say it's the inability to finish the deed, in the midst of the regular act of human intimacy. If we'd played crap, and gone in at 0-0, I'd be frustrated, but it would not grate on my nerves at much. If we played crap and had gone in at 0-1, I'd have said we deserved it. But 0-0, while playing some of the best football I'd ever seen, especially in the first 25 minutes, was just unbelievably painful. See: anejaculation.

Couldn't really credit a super goalkeeping display from the geriatric Nikopolololikopolodis. Everything we hit either went straight at him or onto the crossbar (Cesc). It wasn't like the Greeks defended very well either. We could've been playing with 11 half-blind dudes with the other eye closed and we'd probably have hit the goalie straight in the face. All in all, with all the shots on goal, like 11 versus 1, corners, 1243 to 0, possession, 98% to 2%, I half expected Olympiacos to score the sucker goal. They didn't.

Second half then, and about 30-something odd minutes more of the same medical condition. I'd even already switched channels for a bit, to watch Pool losing to Fiorentina. It was turning to despair. Was this how the Champions League gods would get back at us for those outrageous bits of luck in games past? Then, at last. At last. A brilliant move with Cesc, Eduardo and finally, RVP with the goal. You know the feeling: the opposite of said medical condition. Oh shit, that felt good.

And if that felt good, talking orgasm here, the second goal was truly worthy. Silky passing between Cesc and the Arsh, yummy pass and the cheekiest of back flicks from Arsh. It'd taken long enough, like 85 minutes to get to 2-0, but I suppose it was worth it. Yes, Arsh was probably off-side, but I figure the linesman and ref probably didn't feel it right to deny such a beautiful move, and a second and vastly deserved goal.

One of the more painful experiences, but ultimately gratifying that I've been through recently. Gonna have to start doing some yoga and breathing exercises in front of the TV next time.

Match highlights available here, before we get to the player ratings then.



Mannone 7 - Erm, yes, think he was there. Had to make one good save from a corner, and next trying moment was figuring out how to undo his laces.

Clichy 7 - Tried his best, and could've done better with a few of his crosses

Vermaelen 7.5 - Another good display at the back, but c'mon, he should've had at least two goals to his name.

Billy 7.5 - Was as good as any of the others as an attacking force, and when called upon at the back, was there.

Eboue 8 - Really liked him today. Good at the back, ran really well at the defence, was all over the place as usual. Gave Sagna a bit of a rest, and good thing there.

Diaby 6.5 - Ain't as great as the others. Dawdled on the ball too long as he is prone to do.

Song 8.5 - My man of the match actually. Quietly, everywhere providing the spine to our defence, but tried his darnedest to help out our rather blunt final touch upfront.

Cesc 7.5 - Had a brilliant moment in the first bits of the game, with a volley onto the bar. But could've finished better on a few other occasions. But his involvement in both goals in the end, show his class.

Arsh 8 - Ran his little frame off, even in defence. Ironically not one of his better days, but his second goal was still a thing of beauty.

Rosicky 8 - Had a great 70-odd minutes out. Never looked like he had much time out. The source of many of our best moves, but again, could've finished better on one or two occasions.

RVP 7 - Not one of his best days as well, but thank god for that goal...

Phew phew phew phew phew.

Elsewhere, Pool would indeed lose 2-0 to Fiorentina to provide more good news for the night. Not that I am one to snigger, but I do like Rafa's comments: "Never have I seen this team struggle so badly as I did in the first half. It was a poor performance, they pressed us into making mistakes and we didn't do anything we spoke about."

Funny, but looks like Pool are sitting third in their Group now. I like the fact that we're sitting comfy, and let's aim to qualify by the end of our little run out with Alkmaar. I know I'm counting chickens, but based on this form, that's the least I could do.

On to Wednesday night football then. Man U - Wolfsburg should be interesting, as would Bayern - Juve I suppose. But nothing would give me more pleasure than to see Chelski slip up in Cyprus. That'd make the weekend's Chelski - Pool game all the more yummy.

Review: Fulham 0 - Arsenal 1

Yes, it's kinda late for a real review, but since I didn't really catch any more than the highlights, I found it a bit lacking in credibility to do a full review. So my lazy compromise is a 3 day late summary review, coupled with a look at all sorts of other yummy things.

The game then: Played mediocre. In a tricky away game. In a tricky away game where our opponents play really quite well. In a game we lost pathetically last season. Where we could've easily lost again this season. But no. This time, we had: a super keeper, a rare chance taken with top-notch class, a determined defensive display, and in the end, a really scrappy 1-0 away victory. I'll take it, yes sir!

Anyways, it's great to see Arsenal.com offering little "bite-sized" highlights, so have a look see. Just perfect, thanks! In case I haven't said this before, I love you, Arsenal!!!

The highlights probably will say more than I could. All I can say is, we've been at the wrong end of similar games and scorelines in the recent past, so it's about time we get an ugly 1-0 win.





What made our win so much sweeter was of course, Chelski getting whipped by none other than Wigan. haha! I remember as a kid, I had this strange logic. We beat them 4-0, then they go and beat Chelski 3-1, so all things considered, ceteris paribus, if we play Chelski next week, we should win 7-1. Indeedy.

Looking forward then, tomorrow's mid-week Champions League day, hooray! Hard to believe that of our 6 EPL games this season, 4 have been away from home. So it's kinda nice to see the Emirates on TV every now and then. It's been a long time, like friggin' two weeks since a nice comfortable home win, so I'm hoping for something like 4 or 5 again.

Which leads us to this story. The twit crashes his car driving along some country road with nobody about looks like. Oh well. Maybe he was working on his heading in the car. And in so doing, the twit has ruled himself out of Olympiacos. Just great. If it's not Theo's shoulders, Diaby's groin of glass, Eduardo's shattered leg, it's Bent Nick's car crash injuries. Someone take away his car keys! Speaking of Eduardo, Where's Eduardo? Have a look see. Hope he shows up by kick off tomorrow:



Here's my starting 11 for Tuesday in 4-3-3:

Mannone, Clichy, Vermaelen, Gallas, Sagna, Song, Cesc, Eboue, RVP, Eduardo, Arsh

I'd like to see Carlos the Jackal on the bench though. In the meantime, of course, Theo's not gonna play. According to Le Boss:

"Nicklas Bendtner didn’t participate [in training] because he had a car accident on Sunday. Fortunately he did no long-term damage but he was bruised and we thought it was best for him not to train. He should be back for Sunday."

I say again: idiot. Take the bus.

"Eduardo will be back in the squad for Olympiacos, but Walcott will not. He is available but he's short of competitive action at the moment - he needs a game, and we'll organise one for him. He should be back to normal again from Sunday onwards."

"Organise one for him". What does that mean? I thought we used to only do that in the playground with kids from the neighbourhood? Hmmm. Won't everybody else be like, playing with the boys from Greece? Oh well. At least he's back for Sunday.

Ah, till Tuesday then. In the meantime, I suppose I could tolerate Citeh v West Ham tonight. At least there's no Adebayor to watch.

Review: Arsenal 4 - Wigan 0

Thomas Vermaelen: Goal machine! Absolutely incredible signing, this man has been. Top scorer, defensive wall. What more could one ask? Heck, he's been two signings in one so far. Much has been said of his lack of height - but who needs any extra inches, when he's got the jump he's got, and the power to go with it. I'd say apart from Bent Nick, he seems to be the one with the best header in the team.

Anyways, the game really was a stroll in the park, and we should've got quite a few more than 4. Luckily, the defence was never really tested, and it was good to have a nice confidence builder at the back after the nightmare in Liege. Good solid performances all around from most of the gang, though the standouts must be Vermaelen of course, and Eboue, who now seems to be the man. He was absolutely everywhere, running, dribbling - once he gets his final ball on to a higher level of consistency, he'll become a real monster. Let's keep our fingers crossed there.

As far as the game went, the first half was as one-sided as we've seen recently. But for a couple of poor finishes (e.g. when RVP got slightly confused in the middle of the box at the end of the first), we should really have been two or three up. But no matter. We've got Vermaelen where the likes of RVP, Eduardo et al had failed. What a finish. One of the few times he ventured forward, and how easy he made it look after a lay off from Eboue. RVP could take a leaf from his book, how he went with cultured finesse rather than power from the edge of the box. Yummy.

Once we had our second, it was basically game over. Eboue got a deserved but lucky goal deflecting Eduardo's shot, and Cesc tapped in a pretty fourth right at the death. Wonder if his muted celebrations hid an injury. Fingers crossed there too.

All in all, it was almost too easy. Especially defensively. At last, we've got a clean sheet, and ironic that it's come with Vito in goal. (We were kinda lucky to have had a goal rightly ruled off for offside too). Had a good point blank save, but little else to do. Needs to work on his clearances though. Had another one or two dodgy ones after Liege. Give the boy another work out against WBA on Tuesday, and he should be in good shape. Should at the very least give Fabianski some competition.

Some nice highlights:



As for the player ratings:

Vito 7 - Nice quiet day, one or two dodgy clearances, but he should get over his stage fright.

Sagna 7.5 - Beginning to look more dependable on the right (defensively at least) than Clichy on the left. Boundless energy as always.

Vermaelen 10 - Just perfect. Faultless at the back, and two perfect goals. Who needs a striker to replace you know who.

Billy 7.5 - Quietly dependable, and was the second part of the defensive wall with TV.

Clichy 7 - Better show than his last two, but still needs to work on his concentration at the back.

Eboue 8 - As I said, everywhere. Up, back, left, right, embodies the kind of enthusiasm that we've at times lacked (especially away from home). Give the man a Tiger.

Song 7 - Nothing spectacular, but seems to be settling in a "regular" as our defensive midfielder. One of the few times he ventured forward with a mazy run, could've scored a belter, but grazed the outsides of the post.

Cesc 7 - Not his usual orchestrating self, but at least it didn't matter on the day. We had Eboue today. Nice run and tap in for the final goal though.

Diaby 6- Rather anonymous actually. Always a frustrating performer. Needs to move up on consistency, and work on releasing the ball at the right time.

Eduardo 7- Not as incisive as he can be, but had a few key moments of brilliance. His first time volley onto the post from Clichy's cross, which eventually led to the Ed/Eb goal.

RVP 7 - Should've had himself on the scoreboard really. Once he gets his scoring boots on, who knows what's going to happen.

Funny how we've scored 17 goals thus far from 5 games - that's more than 3 per game on average, and breaking it down...5 have come from TV and Billy, 1 from RVP, 1 from Ed, and 0 from Bent Nick. I suppose this is what the boss means by Total Football.

More has been said re Adebaoyor, this time from Le Roi, Thierry:

"I never saw them behave badly so to react like they did at the weekend shows just how angry and upset they were.

"No matter what Adebayor's emotions were, he could have earned himself a lot of respect by not celebrating the goal.

"That would have shown real class and that to be honest is what most players choose to do when they score against their old clubs. I don't really understand why he didn't do that."

"Arsene (Wenger) puts a lot of investment in you when he sees talent and I don't think it would hurt for Adebayor to show him, the club and the fans a little respect."

OK then. I think that's it. Summarised and immortalised forever. Nothing more needs to be said. This from the man who seemed to take a liking to the man from Togo, what with their little jigs and all. As to Thierry's incomprehension, well, simple. He did what he did because he's...a/an...(_____________) fill in the blank.

Some pretty interesting games coming up this afternoon. I always like ties like Chelski-Spurs. No matter what happens, I'll be happy. 3 points for Chelski's shit. But that'd mean 0 for Spurs. 1 each would be best, but 3 points for Spurs would mean 0 for Chelski, which is always great. So let's see.

As for Man U - Citeh, my money's on a comfortable win for the red side of Manchester. Maybe 2-0. Wonder if Tevez will play, and if he does, and scores, wonder what he's gonna do re celebrations. Haha.

Was looking about, and found two things. First, a little Sunday bonus of a Guardian interview of Theo and his various loved ones. Hard to imagine how far he's come in what? Three years? Second, never thought about it, but Piers Morgan writes a quite entertaining weekly for the Daily Mirror. Given that he's an Arse, it makes for great, biased reading too. See this weekend's.