The World According to Gael Clichy

There's a super interview with Clichy out. Well worth a read, but I'll extract the best bits here:


"Everything in our team feels totally different this time and I cannot explain why. You could say this is because certain players left, but it feels like we are much more of a united squad once again. Everyone knows we had problems in our dressing room last season, there is no point in denying this. We are in a high profile job and every argument we have is uncovered and spoken about in the newspapers."


Right on. Interesting is how he used the term "once again". Wonder which point in the past he's used as reference. The Invincibles? Perhaps. We do know the team has never been the same since the last FA Cup victory in May 2005. I know a certain Togo international signed for us in January of 2006, but it's probably just a statistical coincidence.


Elsewhere, TV says some nice things as well, in a sign that all is hunky dory for now.


As for what happened Wednesday night, well. First, Man U were lucky, Chelski crap, and AC Milan...well, AC Milan. How they have fallen. I mean, to lose at home once in a while is fine. But, to FC Zurich? A Swiss team? Swiss. Let me say it again. SWISS! How can anyone lose at home to a Swiss team - apart from a Swiss team? This was the same Swiss team that LOST 5-2 at home to Madrid. All I can say is, maybe it's time Matt Flamster called it a day and headed back over to the Emirates. Methinks you'd have more fun over here, Matt. (Maybe it's Mat, since his Mathieu does only have one "t").

Final stupidity for the day: For all his great footballing skill, Xavi shows us yet another trick up his sleeve. The rare ability to talk out of his anal sphincter. Makes yet another stupid plea to be able to play with Cesc. If you reeeeeally want to come to the Emirates, I think we'd consider it. Why not. But if Cesc wants to hop over to the Camp Nou one day, fine. He'll do it. But I think he's man enough to decide when. As for you Xavi, may you be cursed to end your playnig days under Sven at Notts County (after doing the usual Arse-Pompey-Notts County tour).

Later then.

Review: Arsenal 2 - Olympiakos 0

I began writing this at half time, trying my darnedest to describe what I'd just witnessed in one word. I thought and I thought and I thought, and at last, I found the word - after looking it up of course. And this is it: anejaculation.

How do I put this nicely. Let's say it's the inability to finish the deed, in the midst of the regular act of human intimacy. If we'd played crap, and gone in at 0-0, I'd be frustrated, but it would not grate on my nerves at much. If we played crap and had gone in at 0-1, I'd have said we deserved it. But 0-0, while playing some of the best football I'd ever seen, especially in the first 25 minutes, was just unbelievably painful. See: anejaculation.

Couldn't really credit a super goalkeeping display from the geriatric Nikopolololikopolodis. Everything we hit either went straight at him or onto the crossbar (Cesc). It wasn't like the Greeks defended very well either. We could've been playing with 11 half-blind dudes with the other eye closed and we'd probably have hit the goalie straight in the face. All in all, with all the shots on goal, like 11 versus 1, corners, 1243 to 0, possession, 98% to 2%, I half expected Olympiacos to score the sucker goal. They didn't.

Second half then, and about 30-something odd minutes more of the same medical condition. I'd even already switched channels for a bit, to watch Pool losing to Fiorentina. It was turning to despair. Was this how the Champions League gods would get back at us for those outrageous bits of luck in games past? Then, at last. At last. A brilliant move with Cesc, Eduardo and finally, RVP with the goal. You know the feeling: the opposite of said medical condition. Oh shit, that felt good.

And if that felt good, talking orgasm here, the second goal was truly worthy. Silky passing between Cesc and the Arsh, yummy pass and the cheekiest of back flicks from Arsh. It'd taken long enough, like 85 minutes to get to 2-0, but I suppose it was worth it. Yes, Arsh was probably off-side, but I figure the linesman and ref probably didn't feel it right to deny such a beautiful move, and a second and vastly deserved goal.

One of the more painful experiences, but ultimately gratifying that I've been through recently. Gonna have to start doing some yoga and breathing exercises in front of the TV next time.

Match highlights available here, before we get to the player ratings then.



Mannone 7 - Erm, yes, think he was there. Had to make one good save from a corner, and next trying moment was figuring out how to undo his laces.

Clichy 7 - Tried his best, and could've done better with a few of his crosses

Vermaelen 7.5 - Another good display at the back, but c'mon, he should've had at least two goals to his name.

Billy 7.5 - Was as good as any of the others as an attacking force, and when called upon at the back, was there.

Eboue 8 - Really liked him today. Good at the back, ran really well at the defence, was all over the place as usual. Gave Sagna a bit of a rest, and good thing there.

Diaby 6.5 - Ain't as great as the others. Dawdled on the ball too long as he is prone to do.

Song 8.5 - My man of the match actually. Quietly, everywhere providing the spine to our defence, but tried his darnedest to help out our rather blunt final touch upfront.

Cesc 7.5 - Had a brilliant moment in the first bits of the game, with a volley onto the bar. But could've finished better on a few other occasions. But his involvement in both goals in the end, show his class.

Arsh 8 - Ran his little frame off, even in defence. Ironically not one of his better days, but his second goal was still a thing of beauty.

Rosicky 8 - Had a great 70-odd minutes out. Never looked like he had much time out. The source of many of our best moves, but again, could've finished better on one or two occasions.

RVP 7 - Not one of his best days as well, but thank god for that goal...

Phew phew phew phew phew.

Elsewhere, Pool would indeed lose 2-0 to Fiorentina to provide more good news for the night. Not that I am one to snigger, but I do like Rafa's comments: "Never have I seen this team struggle so badly as I did in the first half. It was a poor performance, they pressed us into making mistakes and we didn't do anything we spoke about."

Funny, but looks like Pool are sitting third in their Group now. I like the fact that we're sitting comfy, and let's aim to qualify by the end of our little run out with Alkmaar. I know I'm counting chickens, but based on this form, that's the least I could do.

On to Wednesday night football then. Man U - Wolfsburg should be interesting, as would Bayern - Juve I suppose. But nothing would give me more pleasure than to see Chelski slip up in Cyprus. That'd make the weekend's Chelski - Pool game all the more yummy.

Review: Fulham 0 - Arsenal 1

Yes, it's kinda late for a real review, but since I didn't really catch any more than the highlights, I found it a bit lacking in credibility to do a full review. So my lazy compromise is a 3 day late summary review, coupled with a look at all sorts of other yummy things.

The game then: Played mediocre. In a tricky away game. In a tricky away game where our opponents play really quite well. In a game we lost pathetically last season. Where we could've easily lost again this season. But no. This time, we had: a super keeper, a rare chance taken with top-notch class, a determined defensive display, and in the end, a really scrappy 1-0 away victory. I'll take it, yes sir!

Anyways, it's great to see Arsenal.com offering little "bite-sized" highlights, so have a look see. Just perfect, thanks! In case I haven't said this before, I love you, Arsenal!!!

The highlights probably will say more than I could. All I can say is, we've been at the wrong end of similar games and scorelines in the recent past, so it's about time we get an ugly 1-0 win.





What made our win so much sweeter was of course, Chelski getting whipped by none other than Wigan. haha! I remember as a kid, I had this strange logic. We beat them 4-0, then they go and beat Chelski 3-1, so all things considered, ceteris paribus, if we play Chelski next week, we should win 7-1. Indeedy.

Looking forward then, tomorrow's mid-week Champions League day, hooray! Hard to believe that of our 6 EPL games this season, 4 have been away from home. So it's kinda nice to see the Emirates on TV every now and then. It's been a long time, like friggin' two weeks since a nice comfortable home win, so I'm hoping for something like 4 or 5 again.

Which leads us to this story. The twit crashes his car driving along some country road with nobody about looks like. Oh well. Maybe he was working on his heading in the car. And in so doing, the twit has ruled himself out of Olympiacos. Just great. If it's not Theo's shoulders, Diaby's groin of glass, Eduardo's shattered leg, it's Bent Nick's car crash injuries. Someone take away his car keys! Speaking of Eduardo, Where's Eduardo? Have a look see. Hope he shows up by kick off tomorrow:



Here's my starting 11 for Tuesday in 4-3-3:

Mannone, Clichy, Vermaelen, Gallas, Sagna, Song, Cesc, Eboue, RVP, Eduardo, Arsh

I'd like to see Carlos the Jackal on the bench though. In the meantime, of course, Theo's not gonna play. According to Le Boss:

"Nicklas Bendtner didn’t participate [in training] because he had a car accident on Sunday. Fortunately he did no long-term damage but he was bruised and we thought it was best for him not to train. He should be back for Sunday."

I say again: idiot. Take the bus.

"Eduardo will be back in the squad for Olympiacos, but Walcott will not. He is available but he's short of competitive action at the moment - he needs a game, and we'll organise one for him. He should be back to normal again from Sunday onwards."

"Organise one for him". What does that mean? I thought we used to only do that in the playground with kids from the neighbourhood? Hmmm. Won't everybody else be like, playing with the boys from Greece? Oh well. At least he's back for Sunday.

Ah, till Tuesday then. In the meantime, I suppose I could tolerate Citeh v West Ham tonight. At least there's no Adebayor to watch.

Review: Arsenal 4 - Wigan 0

Thomas Vermaelen: Goal machine! Absolutely incredible signing, this man has been. Top scorer, defensive wall. What more could one ask? Heck, he's been two signings in one so far. Much has been said of his lack of height - but who needs any extra inches, when he's got the jump he's got, and the power to go with it. I'd say apart from Bent Nick, he seems to be the one with the best header in the team.

Anyways, the game really was a stroll in the park, and we should've got quite a few more than 4. Luckily, the defence was never really tested, and it was good to have a nice confidence builder at the back after the nightmare in Liege. Good solid performances all around from most of the gang, though the standouts must be Vermaelen of course, and Eboue, who now seems to be the man. He was absolutely everywhere, running, dribbling - once he gets his final ball on to a higher level of consistency, he'll become a real monster. Let's keep our fingers crossed there.

As far as the game went, the first half was as one-sided as we've seen recently. But for a couple of poor finishes (e.g. when RVP got slightly confused in the middle of the box at the end of the first), we should really have been two or three up. But no matter. We've got Vermaelen where the likes of RVP, Eduardo et al had failed. What a finish. One of the few times he ventured forward, and how easy he made it look after a lay off from Eboue. RVP could take a leaf from his book, how he went with cultured finesse rather than power from the edge of the box. Yummy.

Once we had our second, it was basically game over. Eboue got a deserved but lucky goal deflecting Eduardo's shot, and Cesc tapped in a pretty fourth right at the death. Wonder if his muted celebrations hid an injury. Fingers crossed there too.

All in all, it was almost too easy. Especially defensively. At last, we've got a clean sheet, and ironic that it's come with Vito in goal. (We were kinda lucky to have had a goal rightly ruled off for offside too). Had a good point blank save, but little else to do. Needs to work on his clearances though. Had another one or two dodgy ones after Liege. Give the boy another work out against WBA on Tuesday, and he should be in good shape. Should at the very least give Fabianski some competition.

Some nice highlights:



As for the player ratings:

Vito 7 - Nice quiet day, one or two dodgy clearances, but he should get over his stage fright.

Sagna 7.5 - Beginning to look more dependable on the right (defensively at least) than Clichy on the left. Boundless energy as always.

Vermaelen 10 - Just perfect. Faultless at the back, and two perfect goals. Who needs a striker to replace you know who.

Billy 7.5 - Quietly dependable, and was the second part of the defensive wall with TV.

Clichy 7 - Better show than his last two, but still needs to work on his concentration at the back.

Eboue 8 - As I said, everywhere. Up, back, left, right, embodies the kind of enthusiasm that we've at times lacked (especially away from home). Give the man a Tiger.

Song 7 - Nothing spectacular, but seems to be settling in a "regular" as our defensive midfielder. One of the few times he ventured forward with a mazy run, could've scored a belter, but grazed the outsides of the post.

Cesc 7 - Not his usual orchestrating self, but at least it didn't matter on the day. We had Eboue today. Nice run and tap in for the final goal though.

Diaby 6- Rather anonymous actually. Always a frustrating performer. Needs to move up on consistency, and work on releasing the ball at the right time.

Eduardo 7- Not as incisive as he can be, but had a few key moments of brilliance. His first time volley onto the post from Clichy's cross, which eventually led to the Ed/Eb goal.

RVP 7 - Should've had himself on the scoreboard really. Once he gets his scoring boots on, who knows what's going to happen.

Funny how we've scored 17 goals thus far from 5 games - that's more than 3 per game on average, and breaking it down...5 have come from TV and Billy, 1 from RVP, 1 from Ed, and 0 from Bent Nick. I suppose this is what the boss means by Total Football.

More has been said re Adebaoyor, this time from Le Roi, Thierry:

"I never saw them behave badly so to react like they did at the weekend shows just how angry and upset they were.

"No matter what Adebayor's emotions were, he could have earned himself a lot of respect by not celebrating the goal.

"That would have shown real class and that to be honest is what most players choose to do when they score against their old clubs. I don't really understand why he didn't do that."

"Arsene (Wenger) puts a lot of investment in you when he sees talent and I don't think it would hurt for Adebayor to show him, the club and the fans a little respect."

OK then. I think that's it. Summarised and immortalised forever. Nothing more needs to be said. This from the man who seemed to take a liking to the man from Togo, what with their little jigs and all. As to Thierry's incomprehension, well, simple. He did what he did because he's...a/an...(_____________) fill in the blank.

Some pretty interesting games coming up this afternoon. I always like ties like Chelski-Spurs. No matter what happens, I'll be happy. 3 points for Chelski's shit. But that'd mean 0 for Spurs. 1 each would be best, but 3 points for Spurs would mean 0 for Chelski, which is always great. So let's see.

As for Man U - Citeh, my money's on a comfortable win for the red side of Manchester. Maybe 2-0. Wonder if Tevez will play, and if he does, and scores, wonder what he's gonna do re celebrations. Haha.

Was looking about, and found two things. First, a little Sunday bonus of a Guardian interview of Theo and his various loved ones. Hard to imagine how far he's come in what? Three years? Second, never thought about it, but Piers Morgan writes a quite entertaining weekly for the Daily Mirror. Given that he's an Arse, it makes for great, biased reading too. See this weekend's.

*Shock* *Gasp*!!

Despite the fact that I'd not normally want to write about him, it really is quite nice to see Adebayor make a complete monkey of himself. It's just great. Let's hope this really distracts his team, messes up his team mates, screws over his boss, and give every sane manager out therefore 2nd and 3rd thoughts about ever signing this sociopath.

So he's been out moaning, groaning, whinging and whining about how he's been abused by fans, etc etc, and therefore, you know, being human, with real emotions, had to somehow find some sort of release. Well, okay. But I'm afraid you miss the point. Yes, the Arse fans really shouldn't have abused your family, made it personal and all - but think about it. If you're angry with "Arsenal fans", there's like, what 250 gazillion of us all round the world. What you gonna do? Geez. Just score your goals, keep your clap shut, be the professional you never were here, then maybe we'd feel some sort of regret. But now, all you've done is further underlined why we were sooooo right to begin with.

Despite how he seems to be a retard, he does have some basic skills of observation, but nothing beyond that:

"They were clapping Kolo but they were shouting personal abuse at me before the match even kicked off."

How do I say this...erm..yeeah, that's the point, ain't it. Can't you see?? Kolo, Ade. Kolo, Ade. Big difference, my friend. You are not Kolo, Kolo is not you. Maybe if he'd seen how the "fans" have treated Paddy, Bobby Pires, Freddie, etc etc etc, you'd get the hint. But I suppose getting hints is not in his book of competencies.

So just take the cue from the old Kolo. Moron. In the meantime, stop moaning and enjoy your couple of weeks off work. "Us" fans have not such luxury.

Cesc and Eboue have come out and said their share about the idiot too, but we needn't get into that.

Finally, two things I wanted to say today: One - chuckled quite loudly to myself when I saw the result: Hapoel 2 - Celtic 1. Muwahahahahahaha!! And done in by a fumbled last-gasp goal! Just sweet. May you continue to rot in Europa League hell. I was quite happy to see Rangers do well on Wednesday too! heh heh. On the Europa League, I must say also that I was pretty happy to see Fulham out and about on European duty last night. I'm rerally happy for them Fulham fans, and that they've got the opportunity to travel and enjoy the odd European game. Now what Roy Hodgson needs to do is pay a little more attention than ole David Moyes last season.

Last thing is about our recent run of luck in the Champions League. Celtic, now Liege. It's actually a bit unnverving to be so lucky, when we've more often been the target of some really shit luck. I'd rather get lucky in the semis, but let's hoep by then we won't need as much luck. Could've done with just a fraction of it against Man U. By hey, that's the football gods' idea of amusement I suppose.

As for Wigan, bring 'em on!! (Note: I DO NOT say this in the same vein as a former US President re Iraq, god forbid).

Review: Standard Liege 2 - Arsenal 3

What a freak show! Freakily bad, incompetent, amateurish start. Freakily bad performance by almost the entire team, from Cesc (of all people), to Diaby (typical of his Jekyll and Hyde act), to Eduardo. Freakily lucky equaliser from Song. Hand ball, offside. Man, what kind of luck was that? Freakily undeserved 3 points.

Strange as this may sound, the bad start, and the two goals we gave away in 4 minutes were forgiveable. First, the stupid mid-air flick that Eduardo attempted at the edge of the box was plain complacency. Second, the penalty that Gallas gave away following Eboue's slip was 50-50. But after that, our performance was as bad as I've seen in a long long long time. That was what was unforgiveable. We can only be grateful that (a) Liege are generally crap, and (b) they didn't seem to want more than two goals.

From disinterested running, misplaced passes, totally miscontrolled crosses, pathetic set pieces, it was the stuff of nightmares. Come to think of it, it was worse than nightmares. You would actually be concerned with nightmares. It got to the stage that I'd stopped caring.

Anyways, out of the blue, Bent Nick scores at the stroke of half time. Bent Nick, for my money, was our man of the match, and I'd only give him a 7. Just for his effort, and his excellent finish. About time our strikers scored some goals.

The second came out of nowhere. We had possession, mindless and misdirected free kicks, corners, etc, and at last, Cesc puts a free kick into play. All hell breaks loose in the penalty box, the refs miss an offiside, a handball, Liege looked stunned and Vermaelen runs off celebrating. Strange. I didn't even react in front of the telly. It was surreal.

Couple of minutes later, Ed scores with his knee (from another set piece). Freakin' weird. Even weirder his kissing his knee. Good thing Billy didn't try celebrating his own freaky goals of past by kissing his nipple.



There'll be all sorts of things said about missing players, our resolve, resilience etc etc etc, but Le Boss must be seriously concerned deep inside. If missing a few players means that we reduce ourselves to school-ground kickabout standards, then squad strength is not the issue. Attitude, resolve, bulls and professionality (is there such a word?) are the issues. If our resilience is trumpeted, then let's try coming back from two down against the likes of the powers of the EPL, like...Wigan, Blackburn, Hull and Stoke. I'm pretty sure none of the above would have been as charitable as Liege.

So, cause for concern. For now, yes, we've got three points. Let's get another three at home to Olympiacos, then we'll see what happens to the two games against Alkmaar. Such a bloody easy group, and see how we've started. Wake up, boys!

Looking forward to Wigan, there's some injury updates.

RVP could be back, and if so I'd put him out together with Bent Nick.

Denilson's contracted some of that chronic Arsenalitis, so he's out with a painful toe nail.

Arshavin is a 10% chance, which means 0%. No way in hell should he be risked against Wigan. If we can't win against Wigan without the Arsh, then we'd lose with a brick wall in front of goal anyway.

Almunia's still down with the dreaded Badformalitis, aka a chest infection, so it's still Vito Mannone. About ole Vito on Wednesday. First, you gotta feel sorry for the boy. He gets screwed over by his more experienced mates, gets to pick the ball out of the net twice in 4 minutes, looks a real dweeb, and makes a few dodgy clearances as a result.

After a couple of minutes though, he seemed alright. Of course, he really didn't have much to do, given Liege's great charity in not really wanting to score more than two, but I think he'll be fine on Saturday. Despite that, I think it's crystal clear we need some back up in goal...and fast.

Finally - a little point. Does anyone out there think that Vito needs a bra? Even one of those trainer bras? Poor chap. He really must feel the cold...

Well well well well...

Eduardo's been cleared. The statement from the UEFA Appeals Body is as follows:

The UEFA Appeals Body today accepted the appeal lodged by Arsenal FC against the two-match suspension handed to striker Eduardo.

Not established

Following examination of all the evidence, notably the declarations of both the referee and the referees' assessor, as well as the various video footage, it was not established to the panel's satisfaction that the referee had been deceived in taking his decision on the penalty.

Decision annulled

Therefore, the decision of the UEFA Control and Disciplinary Body of 1 September, in which the player was suspended for two UEFA club competition matches, is annulled.

It's funny. I'd have thought the Control and Disciplinary Body would have had the same video footage, etc etc - particularly if the case rested solely on whether or not there was any likelihood of contact. But there you have it. It was not clear - from the referee himself (whom, again, should have been available to the Control and Disciplinary people), that Eduardo had dived. Duh.

UEFA have given themselves a lifeline. They still go about their usual selves, hoping to jump on the next person, go on saying the right things about diving, but not have to deal with the implications of an overly zealous (read: politicised) leadership.

Justice has been served, and good job to Eduardo and the Arse. Wonder what it was like in Nyon.

So let's hope to see Eduardo on Wednesday, and this time, he'll dive straight into a ball in the penalty area, win a diving header, and compel the ref to reach into his pocket with a card - a card with "10" on it. Speaking of which - apart from the great matchday scarves, we should consider handing out little numbered cards for the fans. So we can like, raise an 8, a 9, 7, whatever. Just for when Eduardo gives us a little trick or two.

Elsewhere, there's of course been all sorts of shit about about Adebayor. Damn the day Le Boss brought that vermin into the blessed English Premiere League. So it's a one match ban, two, three, four, five, six, lifetime ban with no parole, whatever.

Funny, but during the match, I really didn't think too much about the "stamp" on RVP at first. But having watched it quite a few times more today, I think there's not a shadow of a doubt that it was intended. Have a go , and make up your own mind. So that's the more serious charge as of now.



What I'd thought would be the heavier charge was the whole thing about him running the length of the pitch, and doing what he did. That was pure and simple - stupid, classless and absolutely unprofessional for sure. It was pretty pathetic. If I were a Citeh fan, I'd kinda wonder, now, why couldn't he just do his usual shittily fake badge kissing thing and get it over with? If it gives you so much pleasure to give one over to the Arse supportership as a population, then fine. You win, you loser. Now get on with your life, and get out of our collective sights.

It's sad. We've never had as classless a player leave our squad. Ever. Ever. Ever. How did this all happen? Yes, we brought him on board for his sheer talent, no doubt he has that in abundance, but Le Boss has also been known for his impeccable reading of character. I suppose he has to cock up once (in a long while).

So how long will he stay at Citeh before he yearns to kiss another badge then? I suppose 180,000 quid a week might keep him around for a bit.

Finally, as sign of the (pathetic) times, some sod has complained and made a police report that RVP mouthed an obscenity during his goal celebrations. Oh dear. Oh me, oh my. Let's slap the boy with a 3 match ban then. He said a naughty word. Indeed. That must've led to the face stamping and Adebayor's own celebrations - so let's just give RVP the whole lot in match bans.

Geez.

Review: Manchester City 4 - Arsenal 2

Shit happens in pairs. Let's try to sum it up: crap performance in the first half, after a decent first 15 minutes. Almunia OG sums it up. Really, he was as much to blame for the goal as he was for Younes Kaboul's at the Emirates. Looked slow to react, and slow to get over to what was a good, but not too threatening header.

Second half - much more like it, and RVP's first goal of the season was well deserved. We looked more likely to score the second, and really should've taken the chances. Then, much as we have done to others in the past, fell to sucker breaks (a few of which started on the left with Clichy), and found ourselves inexplicably 4-1 down in 10 #!$%^&!-ed minutes.

If ever there was doubt that Adebayor has a problem, his goal celebrations surely underlined it. Let's just say this. Fine. He felt unloved. We didn't love him back as fans. But to all you at Citeh, just wait a couple of months, seasons, and you'll see. Que sera sera.

At 4-1, we bring it back to 4-2, and somehow, had a few chances to even it up. RVP hit the post, all sorts of shit, but we're left feeling pretty embarassed by Ade and Kolo. Sad sad day.

Taking a look at the table, and we're already 6 points behind the likes of Chelski, Spurs and Citeh. Not good. And the goals conceded table is even scarier. 8! We've conceded 8. All I can say is fuckin' 'ell. Chelski are scoring last-minute winners for fun, and we're conceding 8 after 4, including 2 OGs.

Things for sure, that Le Boss will have to take care of. Let's hope we'll take care of relatively "easy" games coming up at Liege and (at last) at home to Wigan.

Only positive I suppose is the sight of Rosicky, and a goal even.

But fuck. A bad bad bad bad bad weekend.

If Wayne Rooney said so...

Really can't be bothered to say much about Wayne Rooney, John Terry and Alex Ferguson, but for the two related to Man U, just read this, and it'll be crystal clear why anyone who has any IQ higher than 25 (NB: clearly not Rooney) would hate Man U. Bunch of idiots.

On the Captain Fantastic, JT front, well, the man has just proved that it is anatomically possible to talk out of your anal sphincter, AND, be capable of putting together a sentence despite having the IQ of a mildly retarded ant. (Sorry, ants). See Exhibit A, JT's comments on diving:

“I can speak about the England lads and I think it is something we don’t do.”

“I think we’re too honest, sometimes even in the Premier League you see the English lads get a bit of contact and stay on their feet and try and score from the chance they have been given."

“I think sometimes that honesty goes against us. I think sometimes as a country we’re too honest. I think the Eduardo one was a dive and we can all see that and it is disappointing to see because Arsenal are a quality side and I don’t think they want to be portrayed like that.”

If it weren't so stupid, I'd actually be incredulous with the sheer audacity of it. But I put it down to intelligence (the lack thereof), so it makes some sense.

I'm sure there are many Englishmen and women out there who would be feeling rather embarassed by their captain (cue: aye, aye Cap'n / I can't heeeear you!!!! Oooohh...who lives in a pineapple under the sea??), but here's something which should be typical.

I've said this before, about why I hate the England team, and I'll say it again. Oh, give me the days of the 80's and even the early 90's, and we'll see what a bunch of useless, brainless, characterless twats these guys are. I mean, take this, from Stevie G - on Rooney no less: "Errr, Wayne told me he was fouled, so, er, I'm sure he was fouled. It was a foul right? Coz Wayne said so, so it's a foul right? Right? Er, Wayne seddit."

Just go on Youtube and figure that one out. Maybe he didn't dive. He flopped. But oh, did he try to deceive the ref by raising his arms in frustration and appealing for the penalty? Of course not. Good Englishmen would never do that, no sir.

So to England, (and I love England, just not their national team): I hope Croatia gives you one up the arse on Wednesday, but I hope you qualify though. Just so your media can go wild about your chances, just so JT, Stevie G, the Lumpar, Arsely Hole, etc etc etc, can talk about being world champions, and just so I can see you all cry again when you slink out at the quarters with your tales between your sad ole legs. Gimme another one for the cry baby collection, JT!

Hum drum hum drum hum

Only little bits and pieces about today.

First, gotta take a look at this little piece from the Times. Basically says what I said in my post earlier, but probably in starker and less emotional terms. No words left to describe UEFA than "sad"; and it'll get sadder when they deal with our appeal.

Second, looks like Romano Bloody Bitch (RBB) has chanced upon some good luck. FIFA have banned Chelski from making any new signings till 2011; which, given how RBB has shrunk drastically in his transfer profile this year, gives him more excuse not to spend any money during the coming two transfer windows. Funny how it all screwed up over someone nobody outside Stamford Bridge and Lens had ever heard of.

Third, after all the non-happenings in the transfer market, it does seem that Senderos will be staying with us. A bit surprising, but I don't really mind. Sure beats Silvestre, and if we bring his confidence back to 2006 levels, then it could work for us and him (in the longer term). Denilson and Bent Nick have been given new contracts too, which is nice for the boys. This season must really be the best opportunity for the taller boy to take a giant step forward. Hey, with Ed out of Standard Liege and Olympiacos, what better time to stamp your mark in the Champions League?

I hate these international breaks. Bloody nothing in midweek, silly international games at the weekend...urgh. Later.

Spineless ##@!%$!*&'s in Nyon

UEFA have betrayed their useless, spineless, political and incompetent selves by handing Eduardo a two match ban.

All in all, a two match ban for "deceiving" the referee sounds fine by me, but what UEFA has to be clear about is as follows:

(a) They will need UEFA reps at each and every league in the whole of Europe, from the lowest leagues in Belarus to the English Premier League, to the Champions League.

(b) Every appeal from every game, from every little incident of "deception" will have to be handed similar punishment - if not from UEFA, then from the domestic FAs. The minute you have domestic FAs acting differently from UEFA, well...you know what happens.

(c) Every top team (and I hope Arse included) will now employ an entire team of lawyers and video observers/experts to comb through every single incident of "deception" from any game that they see fit. With video evidence, UEFA must be prepared to act of any incident.

All I can say is, I hope Arse take up the challenge and hand it good and proper to UEFA. It's an absolute bollocks of an organisation. The issue here is not about the punishment per se, but basically that we know there is no way in hell UEFA can or will be consistent or partial in their future actions. You just see.

Oh yes, and (d) these punishments are by nature retroactive. So can't we like...raise past incidents of diving (or similar deception - like feigning injury), and insist that bans be imposed post-actively?

Ah well.

Today's transfer deadline. Dead as a door nail. Funny how all Sky seems to be reporting on their minute-by-minute clock is the transfer Dan Whatsisname to Whogivesashite FC.

Royally pissed by the Eduardo Affair.

Good thing Ed misses two missable games.