You won't like me when I'm angry...
So said one Bruce Banner, aka the Incredible Hulk. As we head towards Wednesday and Porto, the one thing to break the boredom of a weekend without Arse is all the news going about concerning Hulk, Porto and why he's just gonna bust our arses. Funny, as how I seem to recall us being linked to a possible signing of the Hulk himself a while back, so I wonder if he's really going to be angry with us that the fictitious deal fell through. Hmmm....I can just see, a meaty tackle from Mohawk Billy, Hulk falls to the ground. The camera zooms in on a prone Hulk. He's covering his face in pain. Then suddenly, he takes his hands off and zoom in further onto his face and those eyes...staring straight at the camera, and greenish-yellow. Martin Tyler then says to Andy Gray: "Andy, did you see that??!! My god, Hulk's..."
Anyhows, cabin fever has no doubt set in.
There's absolutely nothing happening. Even the news of Arsh missing the game is a nearly a week old. Thankfully, nothing else has emerged about Bent Nick hurting his toe during a routine clipping.
I suppose the fun has been elsewhere, as our friends below us in the table attempted to take care of FA Cup business. Shiver me timbers, but it's all turned out really funny. Spurs, Manciti and Villa now all have unnecessary replays to take care of. But all the better. If that's their main chance of silverware this season, then that's the price to pay. And I'm all the happier for it. What a waste of time the FA Cup has become. Here're my suggestions for the FA Cup, if it wants to remain relevant:
(a) Increase the prize money. Equivalent to a Cristiano Ronaldo at the very least.
(b) Get some seeding in play. I don't see the attraction in having a Man United - Chelski 4th round tie. Or Arse beating Liverpool in the 4th round, then losing to Man United in the next.
(c) Guarantee a Champions League place for the winner (ha!).
(d) Get rid of the Carling Cup.
Looking ahead to the game, Porto will of course be somewhat confident going in, but it helps to take a look at their group games. They won all four of their games against a dismal Atletico and a team called Apoel Nicosia. Hmmm. Good for them, and Chelski did manage to do the double, although just narrowly by 1-0 margins on both occasions. Just so long as we get the away goal on Wednesday, I think we should be in relatively good shape. I can see their game place already: get Hulk right in the faces of Cesc, clobber the boy, and run straight into Almunia.
Thankfully, we'll have some relevant football tomorrow evening. Enough of this FA Cup nonsense. This is where the real action's at. AC Milan v Man United, and Lyon v Madrid. Yum. What I'd give to see Becks celebrate a goal by squeezing his crotch at Gary Neville, and getting the finger in return. Ah, I can only wish.
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