Breaking News: Fabianski Makes First Public Apology

The Arsewiper has obtained the following transcript of a closed-door apology that Arsenal goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski has made to his team-mates and a select group of fans. Fabianski made these comments in Arsenal board room today. No cameras were allowed.

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Fabianski: Good morning, and thank you for joining me. Many of you in this room are my friends. Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me or you've worked with me or you've supported me.

Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for the pathetic, unforgivable and undescribable performance I put against Porto.

I know people want to find out how I could be so pathetic and so lousy. People want to know how I could have done these things to my manager Arsene and to my team-mates. And while I have always tried to be a private person, there are some things I want to say.

Arsene and I have started the process of discussing the damage caused by my performance. As Arsene pointed out to me, my real apology to him will not come in the form of words; it will come from my performance over time. We have a lot to discuss; however, what we say to each other will remain between the two of us.

I am also aware of the pain my performance has caused to those of you in this room. I have let you down, and I have let down my fans. For many of you, especially my friends, my performance has been a personal disappointment. To those of you who work for me, I have let you down personally and professionally. My performance has caused considerable worry to my sponsors.

But still, I know I have bitterly disappointed all of you. I have made you question who I am and how I could have done the things I did. I am embarrassed that I have put you in this position.

For all that I have done, I am so sorry.

I have a lot to atone for, but there is one issue I really want to discuss. Some people have speculated that Sol somehow accidentally passed the ball back to me. Sol and Arsene only said that to make it easier for me. They did not mean to fabricate it. Sol would never make such a mistake. There has never been such a mistake among the Arsenal back four. Sol has shown enormous grace and poise throughout this ordeal. Sol deserves praise, not blame.

The issue involved here was my repeated lousy performances. I was crap. I had nerves. I fucked it up. What I did is not acceptable, and I am the only person to blame.

I was bad. I was utter below standard. I don't get to play by different rules. The same rules - like picking up the ball - apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself. I hurt my team, my coaches, my mother, my family, my friends, my fans, and Junior Gunners all around the world who admired me.

I've had a lot of time to think about what I've done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It's now up to me to make amends, and that starts by never repeating the mistakes I've made. It's up to me to start living a life of at least acceptable goalkeeping standards.

I once heard, and I believe it's true, it's not what you achieve in life that matters; it's what you overcome. Achievements on the football field are the only things that matter. Character and decency are secondary.

Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.

It's hard to admit that I need help, but I do. For 45 days from the end of December to early February, I was working alone with John Lukic for the issues I'm facing. I have a long way to go. But I've taken my first steps in the right direction.

As I proceed, I understand people have questions. I understand the press wants to ask me for the details and the other times I was crap. I understand people want to know whether Arsene will keep me. Please know that as far as I'm concerned, every one of these questions and answers is a matter between Arsene and me. These are issues between a manager and a player.

I recognize I have brought this on myself, and I know above all I am the one who needs to change. I owe it to my team-mates and fans to become a better goalkeeper. I owe it to those who devote their lives to Arsenal to become a better goalkeeper. That's where my focus will be.

I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. Part of following this path for me is Buddhism, which my mother taught me at a young age. People probably don't realize it, but I was raised a Buddhist, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it in recent years. Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously I lost track of what I was taught.

As I move forward, I will continue to receive help because I've learned that's how people really do change. Starting tomorrow, I will leave for more training and more therapy. I would like to thank my friends at Arsenal and the players on the field last week for understanding why I'm making these remarks today.

In therapy I've learned the importance of looking at my spiritual life and keeping in balance with my professional life. I need to regain my balance and be centered so I can save the things that are most important to me, my team-mates and my club.

That also means relying on others for help. I've learned to seek support from my peers in therapy, and I hope someday to return that support to others who are seeking help. I do plan to return to football one day, I just don't know when that day will be.

I don't rule out that it will be this year. When I do return, I need to make my performances more appropriate for the level of the game. In recent days I have received many thousands of emails, letters and phone calls from people conveying all sorts of threats. To everyone who has reached out to me and my family, thank you. Your encouragement means the world to Arsene and me.

I want to thank the board, Arsene, and the players for their patience and understanding while I work on my goalkeeping. I look forward to seeing my fellow players on the field.

Finally, there are many people in this room, and there are many people at home who believed in me. Today I want to ask for your help. I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again.

Thank you.