Before that, there's the usual bird shit about Cesc moving to Barca in the summer. Nobody cares, so don't click if you don't have to. But there I was looking at the Sun - the football stories, not the girly bits - when I chanced upon yet another bird-shitty story about Henry leaving Barca for Man City. That I must say, is the funniest thing in a long time. On two fronts even. If true, then Henry deserves nothing more than Man City (see Top 10 list below). If false, it's like, who the shit hasn't been linked to Man City? I mean, damn. If those idiots who run Man City could have their way, they'd buy out Barack Obama's contract for £200 billion, and sign him for another $900 billion - which would be nice and handy to pay for the American taxpayer's stimulus package. I'm sure "Obama 44" would sell a nice couple of Man City jerseys. I'm sure he'd make another great American goalie too. Casey Keller, Brad Friedel, Tim Howard, Marcus Hahnemann, Barack Obama... But they'd have to give him an 8-year contract no? And at his age, not sure if he has more than a season left in him...but ahh...that would never stop Man City.
Anyways, the Arsewiper's Top 10 List...of most irritating things/people in the EPL right now:
#10: Rory Delap. Him and his stupid throw-ins. Should just hang a pink hankie in his shorts so he doesn't have to wipe the ball with his shirt everytime he throws one in.
#9: Fat Sam, and his damn ear piece sticking in his ear. Like, what is so goddamn important about Bolton, Newcastle or Blackburn that can't be said in person to whoever cares. Or maybe it's just him ordering his dinner.
#8:Titus Bramble. Everytime I see him, I see my EPL career that should've been. Why him and not me?
#7: John Terry/Frank Lampard. Both just as ugly and repugnant, so I've put them together. Imagine them having a nice cuddle in the bath-tub after games, celebrating things like their pathetic loss to Pool.
#6: Djibril Cisse. One wonders whether the frailties of the bones in his legs also extend to his grey matter. That hair, that hair...
#5: Manchester City. Hate everything about them. From light blue, to Mark Hughes, to Robinho, to nouveau riche, everything.
#4: David Bentley. He's like that real irritating kid everyone has known in school. Scrawny, wannabe, thinks he's 100 pounds heavier than he really is, asking for a reeeaaal kick in the arse? That's David Bentley for me. He's sooooo Spurs, so I hope stays there forever.
#3: Robbie Keane/Pascal Chimbonda/Jermaine Defoe: a-holes who belong at Spurs forever, think for a minute that they may actually deserve better than Spurs, leave, and then go back. If there's anything worse than signing for Spurs, it's doing it twice. Amazing. You've got to be of a certain crap-ness to do that.
#2: Marou-whatever Fallaini and his hair. THAT I really cannot take. What is up with him? What is he hiding in there? Why? Does he have a family or friends to talk to him? Walking pubic hair, he is.
#1: Robbie Keane (again) and his !#$%**&! goal celebrations. May we never ever have to see another one. God bless his goal drought.
2 comments:
Eh why your Number 3 and Number 1 involve the same player? Also I like that dude's hair. I heard they even have little figures of him that they sell in the team shop. He's like frick'n Socrates man!
Some person there for two separate reasons man!
Anyway, Fallaini is NOT Socrates. I think the FA and FIFA should impose some sort of regulations on hair allowed in the pitch. I'm sure it affects sight of the ball at corners, etc. He's a pretty good player, but that hair is just...pathetic.
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