A Virtual Avalanche!

Of Arse news, that is. Well, a relative avalanche, then, after quite a while of barren news.

For starters, it's official. Our new kit for next season. Click for the club's news on that. According to Cesc: "I get excited about a new kit and really like trying on new shirts, it makes you start looking forward to the new season." Ya, ya. I like trying on new shirts too, and putting mine on will get me really in the mood....ha. Point to note: the last time we were invicible, our jersey looked similarly simple. Things are looking up already. But for the real news...

First, there is the ultra hilarious news that Idiot 'Arry from the south coast has it in his brain to make a bid for Paddy Vieira! hahahahahahaha!!! Holy Mary, blah blah blah. Now if that is not a geriatric home for former Arse players, then I don't know what is. What is it? Some kind of quiet "B" team we have on the side?

It will be some kind of gathering. Adams, Paddy, Sol, Kanu, Lauren, and that arsehole Diarra. Though I would not for a second consider him as part of the other five. 'Arry should now look into Pires, and somehow consider maybe Reyes. The funny news on that score though, is that Keegan may be thinking of bringing the chap (who couldn't stand the weather in London) to the great sunny climes of the upperest northeast. Too funny to even consider.

(Speaking of Vieira, a little side note here: if indeed he recovers from his injury in time, then its curtains for Flamini. That too deserves a wicked hahahahahahahaha! Well, he can scoot off quite easily back to Milan I suppose. Ain't too far away from where he is).

Gilberto has made some nice comments about the possibility of the young 'uns flying the coop. Basically summarisable into the following points: 1. You're well looked after for sure. 2. This is one fucking great club. 3. You little shits, you'd probably fail whichever other club you go to. 4. Don't for a second think you're bigger than the club. 5. Be a friggin' man and do something. With us. Now.

Great points if you asked me. Of course, there's also 6. Yeah, I think we need to win something next season, to keep the kids, and keep them quiet.

I don't think we need to put that much pressure on everyone, but a little pressure is always good.

Alex Song has signed a new contract. Hurrah hurrah. Le Boss will say that this is as good as a new signing. Not. But close. We only had glimpses of him last season, so who knows what he'll bring in August. I say based on the few things we saw, he'd be great to have around. Just his hair alone will probably to unsettle the best of the Premier League.

There's some weird shit going round that we're sussing out Shay Given. Now, for sure, he's been a reliable keeper for Newcastle in the past, but let's be serious. He's well past the age of consent. His fault or not, he's developed a bad habit of picking balls out from the back of the net. So I say, don't be stupid. Even the media should know better than to start such shit. Must be his stupid agent. Oh yeah, and finally. Aaron Ramsey flies to Zurich, or Basel, or Geneva, whatever. To talk to Le Boss. Who cares. Go sign for Man U. Go for it.

Finally, a little little note on the EUROs. I'm pretty upset for the co-hosts. The Czechs were crap. The Croats were crap. But both managed wins. The Austrians played some nice stuff every now and then, but just like the Swiss, couldn't manage a proper shot in anger. Feel bad for them. Now the ordinary citizens are going to have to endure a few weeks of drunken hooligans without having their team to cheer on. Sucks, I must say. But tonight, tonight. The real games to begin. Let's see.

Me sez: Romania to win. The Dutch and Italy to draw. Now go out and have a little flutter on the Arsewiper.