What a Most Wonderful Time...to be C(z)ech!!

Before we get into that, our provisional fixtures are out. Besides our opener against West Brom on 16 August (yay!), what’s most striking are our penultimate game away to Man U and home to Chelsea just before that. Wow. Talk about deciders! Way too exciting to even contemplate now.

Arse will probably be rusty, so while I’d dream about a dream start, I’d take a simple 2-0 win to start with.

We should (hopefully) be able to get off to a great start of the season and set the pace. Before our first big game at home to Man U on 8 November, we have, West Brom (H), Fulham (A), Newwcastle (H) , Blackburn (A), Bolton (A), Hull (H), Sunderland (A), Everton (H), West Ham (A), Tottenham (H), Stoke (A). Of course, we have to factor in our Champions League qualifiers, so a few of the August games will probably be moved. I suppose the relatively easy start will mean a rougher run-in, but that’s to be expected. We can never expect anything to be too easy.

Away from the Emirates, one of the first really interesting weekends will be 13 September, when Pool host Man U, and CM-TRT (the team previously known as Man City) host Chelski. Great time to see what Mark Hughes has in his pockets.

As for less interesting news, there’s of course been the odd suggestion that Mourinho’s thinking of signing RVP, given the boy’s criticism of how little we pay our senior players. Here’s one such story.

I really don’t know what to say. First, much as RVP has been one of my favourites since he came on board – while others were still doubtful – I must say that if we are offered £15 million, then we should take the money and run. Given how injury prone he has been the last two seasons, I don’t see how we’re going to get a full season from him any more. And if we’re going to give him a raise, then all the more we could consider letting him go. Use the £15 million for someone else, and even if he’s on a higher wage structure, it would be for someone less injury-prone.

Second, I really don’t think Mourinho will go for RVP. RVP doesn’t offer something at a consistent level, and while us fans can hope for a fit RVP, few managers operate on the level of hope.

Speaking of glass footballers (I’m reminded of Samuel Jackson’s character in Unbreakable), it seems Rosicky may not join the team for pre-season training.

Holy smokes. He’d have taken longer than Eduardo to get well. Dammit. I love the guy, but he’s just no use right now. All the more we could do with someone like Samir Nasri – whom we hear could be had for £10 million by week’s end. France’s dismal showing was probably useful in not inflating his value, so let’s hope this is the end of this constipated episode.

So on to the EUROs, and indeed, what a most wonderful time, what a most wonderful time, to be…C(z)ech! If ever we needed better contrasts, we had Tiger Woods last night. He, the man who showed off his bollocks once again by holing a clutch 15 footer to avoid losing to a fat bald 45 year old who wears his pants under his arm pits, shows off his jiggling breasts under his shirt, wears ugly belt buckles and has the most ugly 18-handicapper of swings.

Then, we had the Czechs, 2 up, and 15 minutes to go last night too. Petr Cech, go have a word with Woods, why don’t you. Drop the ball with 3 minutes left?? Oh c’mon, if you didn’t play for Chelski, I’d actually feel sorry for you. But as it is, I just luv it! I larf at you, fool! What's with these weak Czechs? I thought they were made of sterner stuff.

At the same time, Portugal too were crap. Again, I must say you must feel for the Swiss. They really deserved at least one point from their first two games, and their game against Portugal should have counted – even if they would probably have lost if the Portugese took it seriously. Hated watching Nani, and was super glad when he missed a sitter.

Tonight we've got another of those grudge matches between cousins – richer (the Germans) and poorer (the Austrians). What I would give to see Austria pull a fast one. It’d be truly hilarious. For good measure, let’s have Ballack making a fool of himself like his team mate in Geneva. I’m a cruel bastard, I know. But to be fair, it’s targeted only against: all Chelski players, their manager, Ronaldo, Nani, Rooney, Anelka…is that it?