WC Review: Holland & Brazil

Our goalkeeper search is over. Maarten Stekelenburg's the man. Though that Slovak keeper's no slouch either - he even saves shots with his face. Pretty cool. That is, until he mucked it up with the second Sneijder goal.

That said, the story of missed chances and decent goalkeeping was the story of Holland's 2-1 win over Slovakia. On both sides. Holland should've killed the game off early in the second half, while the Slovaks had even better chances to get to 1-1. Stekelenburg pulling off two stunning saves in the space of 5 minutes or so. While it hung in the balance, you always felt there was always one more goal in it -it just wasn't clear whether it'd be Dutch or Slovak. Great for the neutral, but terrible for fans of either side.

In the end, the Dutch did seal it late, but indicative of the problems they're going to have to work out, they conceded a silly penalty with the last kick of the game. They're so going to have to work on their defending, and after that, their finishing, if they're going to get beyond the quarters.

With chaps like RVP and Sneijder having a mediocre to below-average day at the office, thank god for Arjen Robben. His impact was clear from his cameo against Cameroon, and his goal again evidence of his value to yet another unconvincing Dutch display.

Funny ain't they, the Dutch? They've basically plodded through 4 games and 4 wins without as much as hitting third gear. I suppose you could look at this positively - in that the best is yet to come, or negatively, in that they really haven't been tested yet. Brazil are next. So who knows what we're going to see. In any case, they really need to up the standards of just about everything, if we're going to be seeing more orange in this World Cup

Isn't the whole World Cup experience wonderful? You get to watch Holland play on Monday afternoon, Brazil on Monday evening, and by Friday afternoon, you get to watch them play each other. Just wonderful.

Oh yeah, speaking of Brazil. They got through. Surprise!!! 3-0. Surprise!!!

As easy a Round of 16 game as you'd ever find. (Wait. Let me side-track here. I don't like terming this the 2nd Round or Round of 16. Let's stick to the French. Huitieme. Makes sense. Then quatrieme as in quarters. Sounds more stylish anyway, for the wannabe Arsewiper).

The first half hour is rather mundane. Chile looking quite good actually, and Brazil looking rather sleepy. In fact, Chile probably had the better shots at goal, and I'm already getting to switch off the TV and take my shower. The anticipation was that things would only heat up in the last bits of the game. Don't get any funny ideas.

So. In the space of 4-5 minutes after that, Brazil puts the game to bed with some ruthless finishing. Absolutely ruthless. The stuff you'd only normally see once in a blue moon. Or more recently, when Germany put England away. So it's 2-0 by minute 35, and then I go take a shower.

No point watching anymore, until I get alerted by the neighbourhood vuvuzelas to Robinho's third. Hmm. Nice goal. Thank you.

All rather run-of-the-mill stuff from Brazil. Let's hope we see a better test for them on Friday.

Looking round the papers, it's clear that this is when the fun starts, with England, the media, the soul-seaching, the hand-wringing, the self-flagellation, the angsting and what not.

But worry not. It's only temporary. Come EURO 2012, we'll go through it all again, and the usual collective amnesia will set in. All England will be happy again and looking forward to winning the darn thing. With or without that damn Fabio Capello.

In the meantime, one of the more amusing things to do now is to do the "Should He Wear An England Shirt Again" deal. The Sun has gone and done one.

I have to say I agree with it almost 100%. The verdict there is that of those who started, only Gerrard, Cole and Rooney should don the Three Lions again. Of the three, I can only be so definitive re Gerrard. For sure, the man has shown that he of all the Golden Generation has the bollocks to stand up. We'll just have to see if he can make it to Brazil 2014. What he'll need is a big-money move away from the EPL in the meantime. At 34, he'd still be the only person able to deliver for England.

Cole? Shit. I say no. And especially for 2012 and 2014, you gotta look to Kieran Gibbs.

Rooney? To be nice, I'll put this in at 50-50. 24 years old, and he already looks past his international prime. Off the pace, morose, moody, and far from the leader he should be at his prime. 28, and he'll probably be on the verge of a Gazza-esque breakdown on the international stage.

At this point, the only difference between France and England is that France for all that you can say, still have the luxury of chucking out the entire team, saving one or two, and still have decent players out there able to pick it up. England? No such lucks, chappies. I like this last line in just one of many depressing pieces out there:

"Each time the mantra is that we need to be honest about the true state and standing of the England football team and we never are."

Righty-ho. Never are, never will be. And oh yeah - it's not just the England football team. It's English football players. Full stop.

So, what's the next step? Oh yeah. Let's do a "Who and What Do We Blame" exercise. I'd like that. More soon.

Ciao then. But before that, a little P.S. below.

Note to FIFA: You know how I said yesterday you'd take the next logical step and ban replays on your screens at matches? Erm. Shit. I was being sarcastic. Didn't think you'd take something so ridiculous seriously. Sorry...

But, in which case, maybe the next next logical step would be to ban all video transmitting devices that can be brought into the stadium: mobile phones, IPods, IPhones, you know, all sorts of normal stuff? Wouldn't want these pesky fans having access to anything incendiary would we? Let alone those naughty players, or those people on the bench looking at replays. Tsk tsk.