Paraguay: Bluuuurgh.
0-0, penalties, and poor Japan go out. Not much to report is there? Just looked to me that Japan went into the penalty shoot-out looking rather depressed. Oh well. The last Asian hope is out. The Latin American/Central American dominance continues.
As for Spain-Portugal, what a let down too. Damn. I'd even fantasised. Of Cristiano Ronaldo. Yes, scoring, and beating that Barca-infested Spanish team. But no such joy for me, I suppose. Portugal had a pretty good showing the first half, but unfortunately slowly disappeared as the second half wore on. Ronaldo in particular was conspicuous in his absence. Probably got paid off by his real paymasters.
You gotta wonder about Portugal. I mean, Spain had Fernando Torres. He was like, giving Emile Heskey a run for his money. He was that good! The only person who could've scored, and eventually did score, was David Villa. You just had to take care of him, man! Geez.
Not much else to say - except, of course, on "simulation". Mmmm...I love simulation. You get Spain and Portugal, you're sure to get at least one really simulating incident. And there was. Capdevila-Costa. No way in hell anybody could've seen what happened, but Capdevila clutches his face (of course), and Costa gets the red card.
Tell me something. The friggin' ball crosses the line by more than a yard, and nobody sees it. Someone's face apparently gets touched, and from the same 20 yards, the ref sees the damn thing? When all the replays show really, that nothing happened? Brilliant.
A word on Cesc Fabregas. Four games, two appearances as a sub, for a total of 50-odd minutes of football out of 360. Well, who's telling us he'd fit right into Barca then? He'd fit right in just as he's done so far for Spain, looks like.
There wasn't much to occupy me watching Spain-Portugal, so I of course turned to England. Figured the English could do with some blame to spread around. I could think of eight things and people to pin some blame on:
8. Homer Simpson - for inventing "doh!" For making us say it so much!
7. The ball - for being round and bouncing backwards back in play and onto the bar again, instead of into the net. Stoopid ball.
6. The communists - for not hanging around long enough in East Germany. Darn it. Might've been slightly easier with West Germany (if only slightly).
5. FIFA - why do they have to keeping organising these stoopid World Cups? Just furgeddit. Let's just call the Premier League champions World Champions. The Americans do it in baseball, so why can't we?
4. Ghana, Australia, Serbia - for letting Germany qualify from the group stages. Idiots, co-conspirators, all of you!
3. China - for making that damn Jabulani, which we're sure flew just than 0.05 cm higher than Frank Lampard had meant.
2. Marks and Spencers - for making those stupid suits that the team had to wear. We're sure it weirded the team out. Just check it out. Is that freaky or what?
(Not freaky enough? Just look right here. If the team's not setting itself up for failure right there...)
1. Them foreigners! Curse them for coming to the Premier League, making it so successful, stuffing our pockets with ridiculous wages, lowering our standards. I mean, things were fine and dandy in 1966, right? The league was just perfect then. Foreigners? We had George Best.
Alright, before I go. I'm in Switzerland right? And, it's 10.40pm, the game's ended a while ago, and I'm still hearing celebrating going on outside. It's damn irritating. Hell a lot more than I heard when the Swiss beat them. What the hell's happening??
Weird.
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