World Cup Countdown #3

So, looks like England have taken care of their last "warm up", "friendly", "waste of time", whatever you call it, with a 3-0 win over...wait for it...Platinum Stars. You know, this really takes the cake in international wastes of time.

Sure, the idea is to get some 90 minute run-out time without injuries, but let's get real. Platinum Stars? 3-0? How about the Woodland Woodchuckers, Happy Village People or Jolly Green Giants? Why bother? If it's just to get through it without risk of injury, I can think of many better ways of spending your time. Like, why not just run out with your U-21 team? Or England B? Or the Playstation? In any case, 3-0 is all the 3 Lions were capable of. God speed, and best of luck to them. My money is so on the US in that first game.

Which leads me, actually, to explain my international allegiances in terms of who I have supported in the past, and who I will support this time round.

Let's see. As with all good little boys brought up on a steady stream of English football, and with the likes of Ray Clemence, Viv Anderson, Mick Mills, Terry Butcher, Paul Mariner, how could you not just love the grit of those England teams of old? But that era has sadly passed. We now get the characterless poofters of Frank Lampard, John Terry, Ashley Cole, David James (and his hair), Wayne Rooney, etc etc etc.

I kinda liked France as we entered 1998 and 2000. Sure, there was the Arsenal element, but again, how could you not like the solid workmen of Vieira, Petit, Blanc, Djorkaeff and of course Zidane. That has all passed too, unfortunately - but that has as much to do with their boss than the players themselves.

Finally, as far as EURO 2008 went, how could you not like the likes of Xavi, Iniesta, Villa, Torres...but as far as I'm concerned now, any damn shit associated with Bartha deserves to take that flight back from South Africa with their fat tails between their butt cheeks.

So which international team would give me the same pleasure that the likes of England, France and Spain offered in the past? Not many, I'd say - all filled with sauntering, preening twerps that would be the source of Carly Simon songs. I say go for the underdog then. Forget Argentina and their fat psycho coach who likens himself to Che Guevara. Brazil are kinda likeable, and I'd like to see them win. But as for underdogs, none better than the US. Or Denmark, or finally, the Netherlands. Let them go slowly and quietly, while the spotlight's on the likes of Spain and Brazil.

Fingers crossed.