Transfer Crisis at Arsenal!

"Hot on the heels of the catastrophic move away from the Emirates by best-player in a century Mathieu Flamini, physio Gary Lewin has dropped a bomb-shell on Arsenal by announcing his departure to take up the new full-time physio position for the English national team. In what observers have called the most significant departure since Theirry Henry, this is yet another sign of the implosion, self-destruction and exodus that will no doubt cast Arsenal back to the 3rd division. Sought comments prior to kick off against Spain, Arsenal star Cesc Fabregas said: "Goddamn. If I can't have Gary seeing to my groin, then I'm off to Real Madrid! I wanted my own TV show, I got it. I want Gary, and if I can't have him, I'm gone. Hasta la vista, baby."

Just you wait...I'm sure some mentally deficient monkey with a typewriter working for "the media" will soon suss this out in his bid to cast doom on the Arse ranks.

But seriously, it's kinda sad. Good times or bad, good game or bad, it was always reassuring to see the unflappable Gary Lewin next to Pat Rice or Arsene, looking as dependable as ever. I wonder what he'll do when the season's on though. Sit on his hands, pretent to rub Captain Fantastic's calf muscles? Perform drills on Arseley Hole's groin? Have regular spraying practice? Why does the England team need a full-time physio? If Fabio Capello wanted, he could've just gotten someone with nice boobs from Thailand for a massage. Ah well.

After much constipation, Aaron Ramsey has apparently signed for us. Well, the news was reported by Cardiff, so I suppose it does have that extra bit of credibility? After all the shit that this transfer nonsense has seen, I'm not too sure anymore. But if he has, then hurray I suppose. One more English (Welsh - does it count?) person on the books is always good. Maybe he's Hleb's replacement! haha. More than signing the dude, what makes me happier is the fact that he chose Arse over Man U. (Don't think Everton were ever an option). Evidence perhaps that despite everything said about the state of British education, this 17 year old has some brains.

For some reason, fans are getting all touchy and sensitive about the new Arse shirts. Two main reasons: First, that new home and away kits are out at the same time; and second, the sleeves aren't all white, but just kinda half white. So it seems it really isn't the historical, time-tested traditional kit Herb Chapman had in mind. Ahhh...c'mon. Let's be serious here. First, I'm more upset they relegated the white shirt to #3. I kinda liked it, and more importantly, I thought we played really well in it - like against Milan! Second, who sez you gotta buy both just because both are out? If you don't want to, just get the away one next season then. And so the sleeves are half white. Does that make you half an Arse fan? Arse half the team? Hell, anything in red and white is Arse as far as I'm concerned. I can't wait already, and for the record, I never have and never will buy the yellow away kit. Have the blue one of old, and the white one too. But that yellow one just has too many bad memories - like defeats in Europe...Paris? Champs League final? Remember??? There are just some really bad away colours out there, and I'd base our kit designs solely on the superstitious belief that it actually makes a difference.

About last night's games. First, looks like the Arsewiper was wrong on both fronts. But I was right in predicting a crap French performance. Thought they'd lose, and they sure deserved to. What an utterly listless display. Disgraceful. Not sure what Vieira or Henry would have been able to do given the overall intentions of the team.

On the other hand, that was one remarkable performance from the Dutch. Holy smokes. The two goals on the break were stunning, and all in all, the World Champs were made to look like a bunch of unfit old dudes. It was kinda pathetic that at 2-0, they had a host of chances to get a goal back, but shit finishing from the likes of Luca Toni put paid to that.

So looks like on current form, it should be Holland and Romania through then, eh? I hope France crash out like they did in the World Cup in 2002.

Germany are in the mood. Holland too. Now let's see about Spain then.