Before that though, at last, Samir Nasri's confirmed. Took long enough. There's talk that this would accelerate Hleb's departure. I don't think we ever needed a reason to accelerate it, but if this just stops all the talk about Hleb, then I'd be glad. Our official Arse news already has him in his new kit and all, but I hope he gets the #8. No point keeping it unfilled. Wrighty's been gone long enough, and Freddie's already forgotten.
The Sun seems pretty confident about why we should be happy about the Nasri signing. The reason: Tatiana Golovin...as in the tennis player? His girlfriend? Don't know about you, but Samir would really look like a kid next to her. Is it me or does she look like a man version of Cameron Diaz? Anyway, the thing about Arse games is that we don't often get shots on screen of our WAGs at the Emirates, and I'd like to keep it that way.
As for Ade, I rarely take anything from Goal.com more seriously than UFO sightings or aliens mating with old women, but let's take a look at this one: €30m plus some Gourcuff thing (which only becomes available in June 2009. Oh c'mon. I don't buy it for a second. Even if it means that we're getting this Gourcuff plus Huntelaar, I'm surely ain't gonna believe any damn thing until we have Huntelaar in his new kit too.
Other than these usual UFO sightings, there's nothing much else Arse-related. Which brings me the main point of stupidity for the year. We never really needed any proof of how utterly stupid Sepp Blatter is, or proof that Ronaldo is one complete and total cunt, but for some unknown reason, they have both contrived to give us more.
Mr Blatter: player transfers in their inhumanity, are like, like...modern slavery. How anyone can even consider that gives me a headache contemplating. What kind of stupid fucker do we have running the world game? Since they are stupid, someone point them to google images, and type in for them: "slavery", or "modern slavery". Then show them the pictures. Now, not sure I'd see any photos of footballers lounging with a topless chick in the Mediterranean. It must sure hurt being a modern slave. To all the descendants of slaves, all our African friends hosting the World Cup in 2010, I think there's something to be said to Blatter. Goddamit. How can anyone be allowed to get away with something so utterly void of intelligence, not to mention morals or knowledge of history.
As for Ronaldo, may he rot in hell for all eternity now. I'd sure like to see how he'd join up with team-mates from the African continent. His comments: “I agree 100 per cent with what he said. He is right.” He had an open goal, a chance to tell Blatter to shut the fuck up, and up his own credibility, but what did he do? The brainless moron flubbed it. He the slave, who according to the Sun, currently earns £120,000 a week at Old Trafford, lives in a £4million mansion, has ordered an £835,000 Bugatti Veyron and is close to agreeing a new £23million Nike sponsorship deal! Damn slavery if you asked me.
So I say this: (a) everyone with any conscience (okay, not conscience. Just brains). should boycott Man U until they sell him, and (b) when they do, boycott Real. So much for FIFA's whole anti-racism ringmarole, when their President deems it appropriate to make such a statement.
New rule: footballers should take an IQ test as part of their pre-signing fitness tests/medicals. Those who fail should just shut the f up.
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